30 Hilarious and Inspiring Parenting Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Parenting Quotes to Brighten Your Day

It seems like everywhere we look these days, there’s a parenting quote plastered on someone’s Facebook wall or Pinterest album just waiting to inspire, repulse or humor us. And while the ever-growing mass of them may sometimes get downright overwhelming (and even annoying) we couldn’t help pulling together a collection that actually made us laugh, smile or nod with approval. Enjoy!

Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.  - P. J. O’Rourke

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Encourage and support your kids because children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.  - Lady Bird Johnson

Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed. - Eat Pray Love

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.  - Peggy O’Mara

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to.  - Robert Brault

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.  - Ray Romano

When a child hits a child, we call it aggression. When a child hits an adult we call it hostility. When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault. When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.  - Haim G. Ginott

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.  - Calvin Trillin

The first 40 years of parenthood are always the hardest. - Unknown

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds.  - Jean Liedloff

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.  - Robert A. Heinlein

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. – Jane Goodall

The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed. - Unknown

Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. - Kahlil Gibran

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind. - Mike Harding

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. - James Baldwin

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Sweater, n.:garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. - Ambrose Bierce

Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.  - Cheryl Lacey Donovan

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement. - Tina Fey

Say “no” only when it really matters. Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Put water in the toy tea set? Okay. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine. Samuel Johnson said, “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.  - Gretchen Rubin

Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids.  - Sam Levenson

Don’t see your fave? Post it in the comments.