Mothering is hard work. Relationships are hard work. Sometimes, you want to wash the slate clean. The following process is an emotional shower and can be applied as often as needed. You can do the exercise as a written entry in a journal set aside for this purpose, or you can do this as a spoken exercise. This exercise involves stringing a series of sentences together; first, “I apologize or I’m sorry,” next, “I forgive,” and finally, “I let go,” or “I release.”
Apologize, Forgive, Release
Start with apology. Think about the areas of tension with your children and think about what you would like to apologize for. Maybe you couldn’t figure out how to give your baby what s/he needed. Maybe you left when you didn’t want to. Maybe you said “no” too quickly. Maybe you raised your voice. Maybe you were distracted and let the day go by without giving your child the attention s/he needed. Inhale, and starting with apology, begin: “I am sorry for…”
Next we work with forgiveness. You will write or say a string of sentences starting with “I forgive.” You may say, “I forgive myself,” “I forgive my partner,” “I forgive my child,” “I forgive my body,” “I forgive my relatives,” or whatever else resonates with you. You may forgive for specific experiences or you may forgive in general. Inhale and begin now: “I forgive…”
Finally, we will release the emotional tension from your experiences.You want to let of the holding in your physical and emotional body; the tension in your face, the grip of fear, the lock of regret and the power of guilt. You will begin every sentence with “I let go,” or “I release.” Inhale, and begin: “I release…”
Do this process of Apologize, Forgive, Release each evening, or at least once a week. You will feel lighter and clearer. Be generous with yourself. Model accountability coupled with empathy for yourself and your whole family will benefit.
Mothering Mommas: try out some “Apologize, Forgive, Release” statements in the comments section. I will put the names in a hat and pick one and send that person a complimentary L.O.V.E. Parenting Technique CD: Technique, Affirmation & Visualization. It contains a guided meditation, tools, techniques, affirmations and visualizations.
About Jessica Williams
Jessica Williams created L.O.V.E. Parenting with a series of techniques for effective communication, deepened connection and more joy in parenting and life. Jessica is also the creator of www.UltimateParentingCourse.com with the best of today’s progressive parenting experts together in one program. Jessica is a featured expert internationally on both Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert and the upcoming www.KidsInTheHouse.com. Jessica is a regular contributor to Mothering Magazine’s All Things Mothering, LA Parent Magazine, LA Mom Magazine & DailyBuzzMoms. She has been interviewed on television and radio and taught workshops at family wellness centers, schools and doctor’s offices. Her BirthKit has helped women have a transformational & empowering birth. Jessica maintains a private coaching practice in her native Los Angeles where she lives with her husband and their three children. “Truly amazing woman. I love her advice.”—Carrie-Anne Moss. “All you have shared has helped tremendously.”—Lisa Bonet. “I am experiencing nothing short of a miracle thanks to your laser beam approach.” –Andrea Bendewald.