Beware of The Pregnant Jail Breaker

PregnantConvictBellyAbout 15 minutes before the Halloween parade, we still didn’t have our costumes ready. Since my due date (more on how that’s a misnomer in a later post) was BEFORE Halloween, I wasn’t expecting to even be in the parade this year, let alone in a costume.

James had the idea that we should paint my belly into a big yellow Pac Man and put dots all over black clothes but 1) we didn’t have any yellow face paint and 2) we were out of time.

So I went in my friend Anjie’s escaped convict costume instead.

“I don’t like it,” my 10-year-old daughter Hesperus complained. “It makes me feel bad for people in jail.”

One of my good friends (the former editor of our local newspaper) is actually serving jail time right now. When I write to him I have to include his prisoner serial number on the envelope. So I know what Hesperus means. At least she was happy with her costume: a shooting yellow star that she and James spent all morning making.

The four of us rushed down to the parade, leaving James creating a Pac Man head for himself out of leftover yellow cardboard.

I didn’t have a lot of family practices growing up (family was never a priority, my parents both worked full-time, and they ended their rocky relationship when I was still in elementary school) but we always made our own Halloween costumes, however rudimentary or silly, and this is tradition I’ve passed down to my children.

“Happy Halloween!” I called as we walked to the parade.

“Don’t say that,” 8-year-old Athena chided. “It’s embarrassing.”

“GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY, I JUST BROKE OUT OF JAIL AND I NEED SOME DOUGH!” I snarled at the next people we passed.

“That’s a little better,” 6-year-old Etani said, urging me to walk faster.

KidsinHalloweenCostumesEtani was a scary ghost (think pillow case with eye holes). Athena a witch (think Hesperus’s costume hemmed from last year). Next year we’ll plan the costumes a little more in advance. Despite being rather miserable that this baby is not showing any signs of coming out into the world, Halloween will always be one of my favorite holidays. After all, it gives you the chance to be someone you aren’t in real life. HANDS UP AND GIVE ME YOUR WALLET.


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on Sunday, November 1st, 2009 at 8:30 am and is filed under Halloween, funny photo, pregnancy, pregnant belly.
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