Beyond The Self

Three years as his mother.
A long time.
His whole life and mine too, perhaps.
Some say I’m a good mother.
Yes I can say it too.
But so many times I got down and really felt bad.

His innocence, his need.
Made me want to fill that demand completely, from me.

And I have tried.
Love pushed me on and on and on.
On to my limits.
And beyond, into space.

That’s where I discovered you, God.
Somewhere way past where I ever thought I could go.

Way past patience.
(Remember those nights when I cried by my child’s bed?)

Way past boredom and all those repetitious tasks.
(Diapers unto diapers, meal after meal, flowing by.)

Way past the giving of myself.
(That is the hard one. I’d rather come first, not be last.)

Way past and beyond and on into space.
Into the depths beyond self I travel alone.

And woman, wife, mother – all that I am – finds Thee as my Source, Love Divine. Deep within.

 

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