5-tips-to-cosleep-with-newborn-and-older-kids-safetly
Co-sleeping is incredibly helpful for parenting a newborn, especially when you're breastfeeding and you want to maximize your sleep.


But what happens when your toddler isn't transitioning well to her own bed, or your preschooler wants to join the family bed in the middle of the night? Here are my top seven tips to ensure emotionally safe sleep - preferably together - with multiple children, including a newborn:

1. Practice safe bedsharing.

There are easy-to-follow guidelines available through Attachment Parenting International and La Leche League International to ensure that your bedsharing sleep arrangement is safe for your newborn. These guidelines are based on world-renown research by James McKenna.

2. Buy a bigger bed.

The safe sleep guidelines above do recommend that older siblings do not sleep next to your baby, but if you have a queen or king-sized bed, it's easier to fit everyone in with a kid between you and the baby. With my third baby, I had a toddler between me and my husband, with the baby between me (in the classic bedsharing pose) and the wall. Our preschooler camped out across the foot of the bed. We had a big enough mattress and slept comfortably.

3. Room-share instead.

When my third baby was very small, I didn't have my toddler and preschooler in the family bed. Instead, I had them transition to a crib mattress on the floor beside my bed. This way, they were still room-sharing, which is the medical definition of co-sleeping, by the way. This gave me more space for my baby's frequent wakings and all the baby items I needed like nipple cream, diapers and wipes.

4. Split the bedsharing duty.

With my second baby, I moved a twin-sized bed into my baby's room and co-slept with her there while my toddler co-slept with my husband in our bed. This worked really well, especially early on with frequent newborn wakings. But just be sure to have really good communication with your partner who may otherwise be wondering when you're coming back.

5. If transitioning your older children to their own rooms, prioritize nighttime availability.

Sometimes it's inevitable that your older child must transition to his own bed in another room. Perhaps you just don't have the room in your bed, or there are light sleepers in your family that just don't get good sleep with everyone together. Whatever the reason, it's so important to really amp up your nighttime availability. Your older children - no matter the age - should feel comfortable waking you at night. Particularly, toddlers and preschoolers have emotional needs at night, so they'll seek comfort from nightmares or creepy house noises.

Your child will feel much more secure in your relationship and get more sleep overall, which you'll notice in daytime behavior, if she can rely on your comfort and sensitivity at night. Granted, it's easier to parent at night when your children are co-sleeping or room-sharing, but it's just as important if they're not.

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