Doing Dangerous Things and Lying About It

Why and what to do with an 8yo boy (not in school) does dangerous things and loughs about it when we don’t look (or thinks we don’t see) and even makes our youger childrens do some dangerous things too and then when the yougers come and tell to us he will completly lie about it rediculising the other and saying ”what are you saying? I never did that!”. The last thing was he was walking on wet and high wooden beams around our house and was saying look I walk on it its dangerous, you want to do it? He also wont stop when he pass with his bicycle and hit others and say he never did it or never saw the other child. I have great difficultu to not get angry because I can’t stand his lying and that my other kids can be scared of him being dangerous or them being hurt because of him. Thanks for your help.

Dear Mom of Boy Acting Dangerously:

It seems that your son may be one of those people with a “risk-taking” personality.  Brain chemistry edges some children on to take more risks than others.  Have a quiet talk with your younger children and tell them the possible consequences of doing those risky actions. Real consequences such as “if you walk on wet wood, chances are that you will fall from a high place.”  Also have a talk with your son.  He has a need that requires filling - would extreme sports that are age-appropriate fill the gap?  What does he need to do that will stop the behaviour? Tell him in specific non-blameful language, such as “I saw you walking on wet wood the other day, and I’m worried that you will slip and fall,” that you are concerned.  If he laughs back at you or denies it, then your relationship may need a bit more work.  Listen to him more and give him attention when he needs attention and your relationship will provide more parental influence, where he will care about what you think.  Best of luck!

Warmly,

Judy,

Author of the Canadian Bestseller, “Discipline Without Distress: 135 Tools for Raising Caring, Responsible Children Without Time-Out, Spanking, Punishment or Bribery”