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	growing child education

Don't Just Stand There!

"Bullying sullies your school climate," writes educator and psychologist Alex J. Packer, in How Rude! The Teenager's Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out (Free Spirit Publishing, 1997). "It's rude, harmful and potentially lethal." In 85 percent of bullying episodes, Packer says, other children serve as an audience. These silent onlookers, though not actively involved in the incident, contribute to the problem. They confer a reputation upon the bully that keeps him in his role. They also freeze the victims in their role.

We can teach children there are things they can do when they witness an act of bullying. The following are Packer's suggestions, and they can be followed by anyone--even adults!

Support the victim. Even if it isn't someone you know, nobody deserves to be bullied. You don't need to wade in with fists flying; a comment such as "Don't let what Freddie's saying get to you--we all know Freddie's a jerk" can help to diffuse the situation.

Talk to the bully in private. If he's someone you know, tell him you're concerned about his behavior. You are not a friend if you let him continue acting out his anger this way.

Confront the bully in public. Most bullies rely on other people to keep silent about what's going on. Next time you see the bully on the bus doing his thing, say something like "Cut it out!"

Enlist support from bystanders. Ask other people around to tell the bully to stop.

Get help from the authorities. Sometimes it's dangerous to confront bullies directly.

If you feel you can't handle a situation, get help. You need to talk to parents, school authorities, maybe even the police. If someone doesn't take you seriously, find another person who will. Angry behavior that escalates to this level is way beyond bullying--it's assault and battery.