There are so many things in this modern day that I feel aren’t conducive to being a mother. Just a few examples: working outside the home is an economic necessity for many, we don’t see mothers breastfeeding in public, many of us do not live close to our families. The list really could go on and on.
But there is one thing about these years that is amazing: There are wonderful communities of mothers on the internet.
I belong to multiple groups. A few are associated with the birth center where my oldest was born. These groups are full of like-minded individuals. Most of us breastfeed, some well past infancy. Most of us have unmedicated births. Many of us choose not to circumcise. Many of us bedshare.
But I am most grateful for my diverse group. The thing we have in common: we were all due with our babies in the same month. There were first time moms, and multiples moms, moms with histories of losses, moms with varied birth plans and experiences, moms in a wide range of economic statuses, moms from all around the US and Canada, moms of all ages.
And we all love our kids. And we all support each other in parenting but also in life.
It’s easy to feel alone in this modern parenting thing, but I rarely have. There wasn’t an experience I’ve had that I couldn’t hash out with this group of women. And they have taught me so much. So so much. About how hard it is be a single mother. About all the work a special needs child requires. About what it’s really like to add a second or third or seventh child to your family. About our bodies post-baby. About our blessings and hardships. About how we all do things differently, but often come to the same conclusions.
I hope all new moms can find a community like this. It saved my sanity in the early days; it gave me a social outlet when I was at home with a newborn. But I have made lifelong friendships. These friends know who they are. And I love them. As if we had grown up together. Because, in a way, we did.