Take today for instance. My bedroom floor is littered with toys, books, and clothes. There are far too many water glasses on my dresser. My kitchen is messy, a side-effect of my son’s insistence that we make an apple pie. All my daughter’s cloth diapers are dirty, so she’s in a disposable. It’s almost noon and I’m still not dressed. And my son is watching probably his third or fourth TV show of the day. Oh. And I still haven’t done any of the revisions that I promised my novel I’d tackle today.
I haven’t taken my kids to the playground in ages. My dog needs a walk. And these little beings sometimes seem to exist only to torture me with guilt and, well, incompetence.
I am not one of those moms that does it all. I’m more like one of those ones that’s just muddling through. And this is my job. I’m a stay-at-home-mom. Or, actually, I like to think of myself as a work-at-home-mom seeing as how I spend at least a few hours a day writing, reading, revising, networking with other young adult writers etc, but since that hasn’t started paying the bills…
I’m not going to lie. This is a pretty terrible feeling. It feels like juggling. Badly.
But I have a prescription on days like today when I don’t feel like enough.
1. Read a book with my son. Marvel at how many letters he knows.
2. Enjoy nursing my daughter to sleep for her nap.
3. Get a little something done around the house.
4. Read one chapter of a good book.
5. Take the kids outside for half an hour. Bring the dog.
6. Kiss both my kids. Tell them I love them.
My house may never be clean. (At least not every room at the exact same time.) And my kids may watch more TV than I like. We might eat only pretzels for lunch, and I may not be able to convince my son that green veggies are good.
But the yardstick I choose to measure myself with, at least today, is whether or not my kids feel loved, and healthy, and safe. And, yes, they do. So it’s a good day.