Morning Diary of Baby Leone at Two Months Old

BabyLeone5:35 a.m. Squirm. Grunt. Wake up Mommy. Holds me over chamber pot. I do ferocious poop. Feel much better. Yawn. Back to sleep.

6:55 a.m. Cell phone/nightlight alarm: BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP. Big Brother bursts in: “IT’S MORNING TIME! IT’S MORNING TIME EVEN THOUGH IT’S STILL DARK OUT!” Daddy grabs chamber pot on way to bathroom and to wake up Sissy #1 and Sissy #2.

cb_111t6:56 a.m. I pucker my lower lip. Root around. No booby. I cry, “Ah, ah, ah, ah.” A boob appears. I giggle then guzzle.

7:05 a.m. On bed with no diapy. Big Sissy #2 comes in, says “The baby’s sooo cute.” Tickles me. “The baby-boo! The baby-boo!” I smile. I frown. I do ferocious spit up.

7:07 a.m. I pee on flat diapy under tush. I fidget. I cry. Mommy finds dry diapy in laundry basket, puts it on me, and gets me dressed.

7:10 a.m. Mommy carries me over shoulder to kitchen, takes down frying pan. “I want double butter double jam double toast,” Big Brother yells. Sissy #1: “Mom, can I have oatmeal?” Sissy #2: “Mom, what should I put in my lunch?” I flop. I tired from sleeping/peeing. I yawn. Sissy #1 holds me. I cry. Want Mommy.

7:35 a.m. I sit on Mommy’s knee. Mommy eats with one hand. Bits of egg land on my hair. Sissy #1: “Oh my god! We’re going to be late!” runs to bathroom to brush hair.

8:00 a.m. Sissy #1 and Sissy #2 fly off to school on their bicycles.

8:05 a.m. Mommy snaps me into front pack to do breakfast dishes. I suck on fist. I lose fist. I suck on straps. I lose straps. All this sucking makes me tired. I fuss and fidget.

8:10 a.m. Mommy unsnaps me, holds me over chamber pot, says PSSST. I know she needs a lift since kitchen a mess. I pee in chamber pot. “You peed!” she says. “Good j–, oops, I’m not supposed to say ‘good job.’ You did your pee pee!”

8:15 a.m. Big Brother cries, “Let’s read more of that so so so good book, okay Mom?” We sit on bed and Mommy reads The Lightening Thief. Big Brother holds book. I suck on Mommy’s pinky and pee in diaper. Mommy changes me. Big Brother gets impatient. Mommy says it’s time for Big Brother to go to school.

8:55 a.m. I in baby bag in bouncy chair. Big Brother takes apart his talking robot with a hammer. BANG. BANG. BANG. Mommy forgot to make Big Brother’s lunch, rushes around putting a cream cheese and jam sandwich, yogurt and raspberries, carrot sticks, dried mango, and cashews in lunch box.

cb_055t9:00 a.m. Mommy snaps me in front pack and zips me in coat. Big Brother takes scooter. School starts at 9:00 a.m. Big Brother late. I find fist to suck. Cozy in front pack. Warm. ZZZZZ.

Photos by Christopher Briscoe.


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