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	new baby bonding

What The Experts Say

Rahima Baldwin: “Sometimes the best you can do is just be there for the infant, lovingly holding her and letting her cry. Crying can be a great release if done in the arms of someone who loves you.”
—You are Your Child’s First Teacher. Celestial Arts, 2000.

T. Berry Brazelton: “The cyclic timing of . . . crying periods, plus the infant’s ‘determination’ to cry them out, are strong evidence to me that he is expressing some inner need to cry or let off tension. No effort to quiet a baby in this state really works for more than a brief period. . . . I am convinced that this fussy period may be an organizing force. Infants who don’t fuss rarely sleep for long periods at night. It looks as if these periods serve the purpose of discharging stored-up tension.”
—Infants and Mothers: Differences in Development, rev. ed. Delacorte Press, 1989.

Sheila Kitzinger: “What you can do is to contain your baby’s distress, hold and make it safe by acknowledging and accepting the pain without trying to blot it out. It is not a question of rushing around trying one stratagem after another to make the baby stop crying. . . . It does not help to struggle to stop the baby crying. . . . Crying enables the tension to be released. . . . And the baby feels better afterwards.”
—The Crying Baby. Penguin, 1990.

Peggy O’Mara: “Sometimes babies and children, like adults, need a good cry. . . . Ignoring your child’s cries is never a good idea. But sometimes it can be reassuring to your child to be allowed to cry in the safety of your loving arms. . . . Try holding your baby during these episodes of release crying. You may find that the crying subsides, or you may conclude that your baby needs to cry to release stress. Either way, you are offering your baby the comfort of your touch.”
—Natural Family Living. Pocket Books, 2000.

William and Martha Sears: “Research has shown that crying is a healthy part of the recovery process—a physiologic aid to releasing stored stress. . . . Lucky is the child who feels the freedom to cry without rebuke. Wise is the parent who gives a supportive presence. There is a big difference between allowing your baby to cry (without panic on your part!) and leaving her to cry alone and uncomforted.”
—The Baby Book, 2nd ed. Little, Brown and Company, 2003.

Aletha Solter: “Infants sometimes cry for long stretches of time even though they have no immediate need other than to be held and loved. They are releasing pent-up tensions through crying, and this helps them to relax.”
—The Aware Baby. Shining Star Press, 2001.