family tools
choose a tool resource directory
find a practitioner parenting toolbox product safety media reviews family fun guide send an e-card family astrology

community features choose a feature birth stories find a Mothering friend live chat mothers' writing group teen voices

	new baby sleep

Confessions of a Bed Lizard- The Sheer Pleasure of Lying About
By Shann Nix
Issue 98, January/February 2000

The baby chirps. I open one eye and see that she has worked herself into her favorite position—-one we call the "cross-bar on the H." It means that she can keep her toes touching me while her hands reach out for her daddy.

But he’s gone now, bless him, out into the world to work.

With one arm I pull Jolian close to me, resettling her into the warm nest of blankets and sheets gone soft with much laundering. I snuggle the whole silky, milky, fragrant length of her into my side. She arches her back in the timeless tropism of baby searching for mother’s breast—eyes closed, mouth open like a plant twisting towards the sun. She nurses for a while, then lets the nipple slip from her mouth with a satisfied sigh. I roll over and turn my back to her; she pushes her tiny hands and feet against me, and we slide together back down under the sweet waters of reclaimed sleep, smiling. This morning, at least, one mother and one baby are drifting in bliss.

My husband calls us "bed lizards," and I must confess that these slow, sleepy mornings are my favorite moment of the day. Outside in the cold, hard world, things are moving and shaking and going "bump," but in the velvety stillness of our bedroom, my baby and I are waking and playing, laughing and reading the alphabet book, snuggling and sleeping once more. One morning I was awakened by the baby—who is nine months old now—propping herself up on my chest and nursing on my nose. She looked into my eyes and cracked up. This is baby humor at its finest.

One day, I believe, when I’m old and counting my memories like rosary beads, it will be the sweetness and languor of those bed lizard mornings that will spring into my mind, well before the Christmases and birthdays and other formal events. Yet, although the feature that makes these mornings special is their luscious ease, I can remember how complicated and difficult it was to get here.