Nine Things I’m Not Doing Right

1. I don’t make my son cut his toenails often enough (right now they look like talons on a bird of prey).

2. I can’t sleep past 3:30 a.m. unless I go to bed before 8 p.m. I almost never go to bed before 8 p.m.

3. I watch “Saturday Night Fever” with my 10-year-old. (We fast forward through the gang rape scene. I forgot there was a gang rape scene. “Mommy, what was happening there?” “That girl got upset because she had too much to drink and she was taking drugs and then she realized she did not want those boys hugging and kissing her and she felt really bad.”)

4. I eat an entire bag of chocolate covered caramels even though I have low blood sugar and I know eating it will make me feel bad physically and disappointed with myself.

5. I’m not affectionate enough with my husband.

6. I check my email while I’m nursing the baby instead of just enjoying our time together.

7. I do the kids’ chores because it’s easier and it takes less time than getting them to do them.

8. I feel resentful about the kids not doing their chores.

9. I have unresolved issues with my mother.

Do you have unresolved issues with your family? Do you sometimes do your children’s chores? Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything wrong? Do you have advice about how moms and dads can be kinder to themselves?

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11 thoughts on “Nine Things I’m Not Doing Right”

  1. 3:30 AM…really? How in the world do you do it? I often wish I could get by on less sleep – how much more time I’d have every day…but alas, I need a whole bunch of hours..

  2. I think you should be easier on yourself and not think about what you might be doing wrong but rather congratulate yourself on what you are obviously doing right. I cannot imagine having four small children, a career, a husband, a home, etc. …. Don’t know how you manage it all!
    .-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Cape Cool Marches For Social Justice =-.

  3. Thanks for reminding me not to beat myself up, Alexandra. I was in so much despair after being awake for the entire day at 3:30 that I just felt like I was doing everything wrong. I know it’s better to dwell on the positive. Sometimes that’s a challenge for me.
    .-= Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..Photo Shoot With Christopher Briscoe =-.

  4. Jennifer, please be kind to yourself. We all do such things, I could come up with a list of 90, let alone just 9. Like tonight, I let my kid stay up late and watch Glee (inappropriate, which is why my 11-year-old loves it).

    Served leftovers with far fewer veggies than I would like and should have cut his straggly nails before he headed off to bed, but didn’t. There’s 3.

    He’ll live. Tomorrow is another day. One thing I’ve learned along the way with this parenting biz is that mostly, most of the time, most of us do try to do the best we can. We’ll mess up anyway. That’s life. As long as our kids know they’re loved I reckon it’s good advice not to sweat the small stuff…But it all feels huge when you’re sleep deprived. I wish you rest!
    .-= sarah henry´s last blog ..Cultivating Controversy: In Defense of an Edible Education =-.

  5. Well if those are the only things you’re doing wrong, you are far ahead of the rest of us! Gosh – the fact that you are able to write this amazing blog is quite an accomplishment, not to mention you are thoughtfully raising your children, running a home, being a wife, and doing other career-related things. That is a lot and it seems you are really doing all of them very well. I think that we all need to be a little less hard on ourselves.

  6. Several years ago I was in a lego store with my 2 sons. A woman sat in a chair waiting for her kids to pick out their special things. We struck up a conversation and her eldest was my eldest age (exactly actually, same birthday) and her youngest was the age of my youngest. Of course, she had 2 more kids in between as well. I was probably a day or two from my last shower. Sneakers, old jeans, and a ratty tshirt. She was dressed in adorable boots, pants (not jeans), leather jacket, hair and makeup were PERFECT. I couldn’t figure it out–she had FOUR and dressed like she was going to work in the city instead of the mall with her kids. I had TWO and was a basketcase. She’s the woman I thought of when I named my blog “supermom.” I looked at women like that and wonder how the hell they get it so perfect.

    However, this year I “met” you. Frankly, anyone that can do what you do (which includes giving birth at home without ANY intervention other than your equally cool DH) earns the rank of super-duper-mom in my book. So now when I think of a super mom, I picture you in my head. Just so you know.. you rank right up there in the “how does she do it?” category.

    .-= Claudine´s last blog ..All Grown Up =-.

  7. Jennifer,

    If it makes you feel any better, I could relate to quite a bit of this! It was poignantly funny for me to read your list. I do know, though, that you are doing an amazing job. Maybe your next post should be about nine things you’re doing right!
    .-= Christine´s last blog ..Pine cone tree craft =-.

  8. I can relate too. Hey, no matter what you put on your not-doing-right-now list, there are so many things that you ARE doing right. As moms, we don’t often give ourselves enough credit.

    -a fellow chore doer who also forgot about her tooth fairy duties this week

  9. OH boy, does all that sound familiar. And after you make the list, you are more aware of the things you were doing and improve little by little. And I agree with Claudine–you’re super mom. I stayed at home and did some volunteer work when I had three boys in three years. The thought of working during those years just makes my cringe. So all you mom/bloggers/writers–Hurrah for you!
    .-= Vera Marie Badertscher´s last blog ..10 Oldies and 10 Best New Books for Travelers =-.

  10. I would like to know if there is a single woman on the planet who doesn’t have unresolved issues with her mother. As for the rest, they are all just as forgivable. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    I don’t pay as much attention to my daughter as I would like. But I’m not super women. She’s growing up just fine. I think that’s the important part.
    .-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..Try Not to Miss Me Too Much =-.

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