One for the fellas (pass it along) : a decoder ring for your woman

Every year, my Hubba Hubba says to me “What do you want for your birthday?” My response is specific. Kinda. Um…Carl Jung’s Red Book; a day at the spa; anything from 18 Karat, these Cacharel sandals I adore, size 9. Dinner out — but no wheat, no meat. But you know…just surprise me.” His look is pensively eager, yet totally mystified. “You know what you want, but you want to be surprised. Got it.” He walks away thinking, I’ve got a 50/50 chance of getting this one right.

Dudes, (or masculine-energy-identified dudettes in pursuit of your own lezzie-ladies,) don’t you wish you had a decoder ring for your woman? An unfailing oracle to help you decipher and make the best possible choices for pleasing your amour? You have it within your reach. You can employ this technique at anytime. Your stealth and secret weapon against the confusion of romance is…your girl’s girlfriend.

Just call your woman’s girlfriend and ask what to do.

I’m struck by how rarely this all too simple tactic is employed. The map to victory is just a text message away. Want to know what would really make your woman happy; what she’d really like for love tokens, what would make you look like a Don Juan of Attentive Love and The Perfect Dispenser of Lusty Lust in your sweetheart’s eyes? Dude, just call her girlfriend and ask. She knows everything you wish you could, if but for the lack of ovaries and energetic propensity.

I guarantee you that your girl’s girls know precisely how you could rock her world. She can tell you if a Vitamix is an aphrodisiac or a deal breaker, if the Rabbit Habit girl toy is going to ignite terror or passion, if she’s always wanted a cowboy to take her away, or she just wants you to fix her damn headlight like you said you would.

If you’re wondering if this holy girlfriend knowledge also applies to what your woman personally wants in the bedroom, why yes, yes it probably does. Girlfriend power is pervasive. It takes a brave man to inquire about such matters, but a faint-hearted knight never won the hand of a fair maiden (I stole that from Russell Brand’s live act, who stole that from a theater teacher, no doubt.)

Just dial the pal. Your woman won’t see it as a weakness, chances are she may already think you’re a bit romantically handicapped. Call her bestie, get the inside scoop and your honey will think you’re hotter than John Hamm, Jack Sparrow, and Alicia Keys all rolled into one.

A sociological side note to really drive this one home:

Girlfriends know precisely what their girlfriends want from their significant others for two indisputably historically specifies-specific reasons

: we talk to each other–a lot, and we talk about everything–from paraben-free beauty products, to what it means to be properly ravaged, in such great detail that unsuspecting males would blush if they were fortunate enough to overhear what goes down in the average coven call;

: and secondly, Feminines are not only wired to intuit the need’s of those around us, we get a thrill from preempting people’s need. “That coconut water you’ve been wanting to try, yep, I had a case imported from Thailand for you, it’s in the fridge.” “Got you the MP3 of the new Mumford & Sons” “Hey sister, just thinking about you. Call me!”

Now THAT’s romantic.

Make the call. She–we–you will be very glad you did.

 

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Danielle LaPorte

About Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte is the author of the book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (from Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the creator of the online program The Spark Kit: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs and co-author of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice on DanielleLaPorte.com, a site that has been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”

You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter @daniellelaporte