People are where they are

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you.

You have to go to them sometimes.”

– Winnie the Pooh

She has a tendency to panic. Makes it hard to trust her.

He is chronically greedy. Grew up dirt poor. Money is everything.

She is a channel of pure wisdom, a naturally gifted seer.

He is a genius, able to connect vast intellectual concepts.

She is fragile, new, and green to the concept of cause and affect.

He is angry, wounded, perpetually antagonistic.

People are where they are — despite our desire for them to be further along, more evolved, more fun, closer to our level, less intimidating, more relatable, easier to access, or simply more like us.

If we take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation – we can meet them where they are. We can meet them in the real moment. We can meet them in their despair or their magnificence.

And when we truly meet them, with no wishing for something different to wedge you apart, we’ll know what to do. We will have the compassion to be calming, the humility to be reverent, or the wisdom to walk away. The question becomes, how would we treat “wounded,” or “rage,” or “brilliance”? Not how would we help (or coerce, or plead with) someone be more healed, or less angry, or more down to earth.

They are where they are. Consider the facts and let’s spare ourselves the desire for change. Remove the friction of wanting to improve them. And engage. It’s the only way change happens.

What about you? Are you able to abandon the desire to change your partner, friend, or family member? How does it feel to free yourself from the burden of wanting to change others?

Meeting you where you are,


. . . . . . .


Danielle LaPorte

About Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte is the author of the book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (from Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the creator of the online program The Spark Kit: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs and co-author of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice on, a site that has been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”

You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter @daniellelaporte

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