A mother wrote into Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert about her indecisive child. I responded with a host of ideas of how to increase his self-confidence with details about empowerment, responsibility, music, creative games, adult narration of the decision-making process, and tangible tools. An excerpt about the “power stone” and “power bag,” follows.
An excerpt of tangible empowerment:
Take him to a specialty store to purchase a stone, rock or crystal. Have him hold this rock when he is feeling good and happy, and place it somewhere safe like his dresser or under pillow while he sleeps. Then have him take the small stone to school in his pocket or backpack to give him a touchstone of inner calm. Touching this stone in his pocked may help bolster him for the moment.
Create a tangible place that he can remember his confidence. Buy him a small backpack or bag and call it his “power bag.” Include a journal with crayons and/or a pen, his power stone (see above,) his favorite stuffed animal and a small photo book of his family, favorite friends, elder in the community or anyone with whom he feels safe, confident, capable and loved. Just knowing the power bag is with him at school will help him. If he encounters an especially difficult moment, he might be allowed to sit alone with his power bag for a moment to bring him back to his center.
About Jessica Williams
Jessica Williams created L.O.V.E. Parenting with a series of techniques for effective communication, deepened connection and more joy in parenting and life. Jessica is also the creator of www.UltimateParentingCourse.com with the best of today’s progressive parenting experts together in one program. Jessica is a featured expert internationally on both Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert and the upcoming www.KidsInTheHouse.com. Jessica is a regular contributor to Mothering Magazine’s All Things Mothering, LA Parent Magazine, LA Mom Magazine & DailyBuzzMoms. She has been interviewed on television and radio and taught workshops at family wellness centers, schools and doctor’s offices. Her BirthKit has helped women have a transformational & empowering birth. Jessica maintains a private coaching practice in her native Los Angeles where she lives with her husband and their three children. “Truly amazing woman. I love her advice.”—Carrie-Anne Moss. “All you have shared has helped tremendously.”—Lisa Bonet. “I am experiencing nothing short of a miracle thanks to your laser beam approach.” –Andrea Bendewald.