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The Right Words
By Lisa Schrader
Don't Say
"You can have another one." For some women this may not be an option. Besides, she wanted this one.
"It was probably for the best." Nothing about this situation feels anything like "for the best" to her.
"Everyone has miscarriages." Be careful not to try to minimize her feelings.
"I know how you feel." Say this only if you have actually gone through this experience yourself, and even then, be aware that your experience might differ considerably from hers.
"Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?" This question is only guilt-inducing.
"Be grateful for the children you do have." It is possible to be grateful for any number of things and still grieve for something that is lost.
Do Say
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Offer to make dinner or babysit older children.
"Would you like to talk about it?" "Would you like some company or would you rather just be alone?"
"It wasn't your fault."
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