Musing a lot on the nature of saying Yes – and No – these days. To others, and even to myself… Last week I shared a post with you on the Guilt of Saying No – so thought I’d bring you these musings from the Mama Renew blog on the art of saying No & YES:
We hear a lot from mothers about the challenge of saying “No”. We all do it. The request for a favour comes, we feel that gut response that screams out Noooooo!, and then we smile graciously and say “Yes”.
Our reasons for saying Yes are often genuine; wanting to help a friend, serve our community, or take advantage of a wonderful opportunity… Other times, our rationale for saying Yes may involve guilt, or a sense of “payback” or obligation, or wanting to look like we have it all together.
Whatever our reason for saying Yes, it is important to consider the cumulative impact of rarely saying “no” on our emotional and physical health, as well as our family.
A good friend recently commented:
“You to say a lot of small “no’s” to make room for a big Yes”
A wise woman is she.
Now we’re not saying that you should step out of the social fabric and never help a friend. Supporting one another is an absolutely core element of the community of motherhood, and often this means setting aside our own needs for the time being. We can all remember times a friend has said “Yes”, and in doing so made all the difference in our day.
We are, however, suggesting that the best way to support our community is by first honouring our own core needs. When we care for ourselves, we can ensure that we will have the energy and motivation needed to step up and say YES when the time is right.
Have you said a healthy No recently? An emphatic, authentic Yes?
About Sarah Juliusson
Sarah Juliusson, founder of Mama Renew, is a gifted facilitator and writer on the journey of birth & motherhood. She brings two decades of experience supporting families through pregnancy, birth and motherhood to her work. Sarah is mother to two growing boys, a playful crafter with cloth & wool, student of traditional food preservation, and a diva at heart. Join the conversation on http://www.mamarenew.ca & on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mamarenew