Suck it Up: The Best Advice I Ever Got

suck it up- the best advice I ever got

Sometimes women don’t need pity or comfort. Sometimes they just need someone to believe in them – someone to tell them to suck it up.

Let me tell you a dirty story.

It’s the story of how I became a grumpy, insensitive, old woman.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, when I looked great in shorts and had never even heard of spider veins, I got a job as a truck stop waitress.

It’s true. I was a truck stop waitress in a diner just off the 101. I was 18 years old and had heard that you could make “good money” waiting tables.

I was an innocent young thing with a soft heart. Hard to believe at this point, but true nonetheless. I cried easily. I had “feelings.”

I was trained by a tough blonde woman who had been a truckstop waitress since she was a teenager and who could memorize an order for a table of 10 (drinks included) without a single mistake.

Guess what, first night, I messed up an order.

Not surprising, considered my ignorant state. Someone ordered hash browns as a side with their breakfast and I wrote down “hash” never knowing that there was an actual food called “hash.”

The kind sir who had ordered the hash browns but got hash was not happy and let me know how I had screwed up his breakfast (for dinner) in a royal way. Apparently he HATED hash.

I will admit, it’s an acquired taste.

I ended up crying in the bathroom of that truck stop. (As it turns out, women’s restrooms in truck stops are rarely visited places so I was quite alone.)

Alone, that is, until my waitress/trainer entered to give me some sage advice.

She could tell I was sad and crying away my hurt feelings in the potty.

Did she offer a hug? A kind shoulder? A tender story of her first mistake as a truck stop waitress back in yonder youth?

Nope.

She uttered just a few words.

“Suck it up, kid,” she said.

And she left.

And I left too.

I squared my shoulders, splashed some water on my face, dried myself off and walked out. I came out of that bathroom (surprisingly clean, just so you know. It was a nice truck stop diner.) and I got to work.

I worked at that truck stop all summer and the next. Every time I came home from college, I had a job waiting for me and I made enough to buy my first car and help with school.

In fact, so deeply touched was I by that advice that it actually become my go to advice for others and myself during times of trouble.

Some may say that I am emotionally stunted, insensitive, even mean.

But I prefer to think that rather than cruel, I simply believe in the ability of people to carry on, to get through hard things, and to survive even when life is lumpy.

Being a truck stop waitress probably has little to do with being a mom or being a human being or surviving in this world, right?

I don’t know…

I learned a lot at that job. I could tell you some fun stories about dirty old men and kind homeless weirdos. 

But mostly I learned the value of sucking it up and pushing through.

I know that we live in a sensitive world where sensitivity is demanded often. I know we talk a lot about victims and being “nice.”

But more and more often that “niceness” sounds a lot like demeaning, pitying, paternalism.

This happens all the time in the birth world as educators, midwives, and doulas strive to right the wrongs and make care more sensitive.

I know we talk about all of this all the time, but I can’t help but wonder if sometimes a hurting, scared girl who lacks confidence and got her feelings smashed would be better served with a, “suck it up” than an, “I’m so sorry, you poor, poor thing.”

Doesn’t pity sometimes just serve to further embrace their role as helpless victim?

We all need hugs sometimes, and I get that. I have written about that too. They have their place and we need to use our judgment and good sense when it comes to approaching hard things.

But sometimes pity just sends the message that this hurting person CAN’T actually function or make it through. Sometimes what “suck it up” really says is, “you can do this.”

suck it up- the best life advice I ever got

When did women get so weak that we have to carry them, like wet tissue paper, through life so that they can survive?

I refuse to believe that women are weak and ALWAYS need the soft shoulder to weep on.

I was at a birth once with a first time mom who was transitioning. She was having a hard time, as women often do at 9 centimeters.

I was shocked when the midwife, got in her face and told her in no uncertain terms that she COULD do it. She informed this birthing woman (who was feeling weak and hopeless) that she herself had birthed many babies, and she then pointed to all the other women in the room, myself included, and informed her that these other ladies had also done it.

And now she was going to do it too.

Then, this weeping woman did just that.

I thought that midwives were supposed to be sensitive and kind and hold your hand while you felt sorry for yourself.

Sometimes, pity isn’t the best course of action.

You are stronger than you know. You CAN suck it up and move on.

You can get up and get out of bed when you don’t want to.

You can go to work.

You can take care of your kids.

You can do hard things.

You can get through hard times in your marriage, your life, your emotional landscape. You can survive when people are mean to you because you are stronger than all that other junk. It isn’t bigger or tougher than you are. You are tougher than the hard times.

Suck it up- the best life advice I ever got

I realize this isn’t a popular feeling and it isn’t popular advice. My loved ones, unsurprisingly, don’t enjoy getting advice from me. (I can admit that my delivery often sucks!)

Maybe it needs to be said anyway.

Giving birth is hard.

But you can do it. So suck it up and do it.

Having a newborn is hard. Babies often don’t sleep.

Eventually they will sleep. So suck it up and push through.

Raising young kids is hard. But you can do it.

Your house will be in constant need of cleaning.

Suck it up, square your shoulders, and clean something for 10 minutes.

When you have older kids, they will fight.

They will be a pain in the butt.

Suck it up and love them anyway.

You will be hurt and beat down, sometimes by those who should have been kind, sometimes by those who should have been lifting you up.

You can make it through this. Suck it up. Get out of bed. Remember that you are stronger than this. Go out. Do hard things.

You aren’t some weak thing with flowers in your hair. You might not be able to do 20 pull ups, but you are strong and coddling will never teach you that.

Dig deep. Remember where you came from and what you are made of.

I don’t buy the, “women are weak and must be handled with kid gloves,” line. We are no more sensitive or helpless than anyone else.

I know the phrase, “suck it up” is awful, really awful and insensitive.

It is still the best advice I ever got and I tell it to myself all the time. It has gotten me through much harder things than a tough and angry truck driver. A better phrase would probably be, “you can do it.”

You can do it.

You can do hard things.

There are many who have come before you. They stand waiting and watching and knowing that you are stronger than you realize.

Photo credit: Cia de Foto/Foter.com; CC BYMatthew Wilkinson/ Foter.com; CC BY-NDmescon/Foter.com


53 thoughts on “Suck it Up: The Best Advice I Ever Got”

  1. Wow! This was soooooo perfect and brave to say in this ” nobody should ever feel bad” world we live in now. I like you Sarah Clark! Gonna go check you out now on mothering .com:)

  2. I agree with the heart of what you are saying, but I absolutely hate the phrase “suck it up.” I’ve never heard anyone say it in something other than a rude and nasty and uncaring way. People don’t need pity, I agree, but there’s nothing wrong with delivering your advice, even strong advice, with kindness. If someone tells me to suck it up, I just shut down and shut them out.

  3. Being told to “suck it up” will work for some people but not for others. I like the alternative “you can do it.” Of course there’s a world of difference between telling yourself to suck it up and saying it to others. That’s a huge distinction. The first one is just fine if it works for you.

    There are some people though who just need to cry a little bit and get that energy out of their system first. They’re not asking for coddling, just a couple of minutes to get (literally) the stress hormones out of their system via tears. Or the complaining. Or the grieving.

    When I cried as a child when I got hurt my mother would often say “you’re not hurt.” It didn’t really do any good. I realized as an adult in a tough family that being told to “suck it up” or “you’re not hurt” put me in the position of defending my hurt. Insisting that, yes, I am hurt. I’m telling the truth. Paradoxically this defense made the hurt last longer.

    I think the best strategy is a hug for the tears with words of reassurance. You can do it is strengthening. Suck it up just sucks.

  4. PS I thought that being told, gently but firmly, that “you can do this” and “you will do this” was a pretty standard admonition from birth attendants.

    I do energy work with people and sometimes animals. “You can do this” is one of the most loving, strengthening things I can think of to say when somebody is in pain or suffering.

  5. Great article and the timing is perfect for me, personally, in my life right now.
    Reminds me of what my mom used to tell me when life got me down…”Stop feeling sorry for yourself” which is kind of the same advice.

  6. “suck it up” and “you can do it” are two very different things. one is harsh and dehumanizing and the other is affirming and empowering.

    1. “You’re fat” and “you’re overweight” are two different things as well but they mean the same. You’d be okay with a doctor saying one of these but not both. However, it is what it is. Advice is a suggestion of how to handle something. Take the suggestion, and either use it or don’t. But don’t get offended because they didn’t choose soft enough words for you. They both mean the same thing, for me, I will take the advice for its core message or I’ll leave it. Sticks and stones man, people’s words don’t define you. Their choice of the right words shouldn’t change the core message they’re sending.

  7. FITNESS TIP: Never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why stop there? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

    Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat the whole cake instead of a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. I believe in you.

  8. Thank you for writing this! You are absolutely right. Lovely article. Totally not the message we are getting every day in our coddle culture, but something so many of us desperately need to hear. Definitely needed to read this tonight; thanks, Sarah Clark!

  9. I loved this article. There’s a time for empathy and there’s a time to saddle up and get it done. This is exactly what I was thinking during my 3 births- no time for complaining. Get it done. It’s an empowering sentiment.

  10. Perhaps there is a space in between ‘suck it up’ (rude, condescending, and harmful) and pity (equally as harmful)?
    I don’t know many people who want to be pitied. But I also don’t know ANY who want to be told to ‘suck it up’.
    Sometimes all we need to move through pain is to be heard, and to know we are not alone. Most often, no words are required.
    Empathy does not equal pity, and there is nothing wrong with showing weakness and being vulnerable…that is where true Grace lies.
    Denying and suppressing feelings can easily create bitter, angry, passive-aggressive individuals, and has serious health consequences. It rarely creates strong, healthy, positive members of society. I have experiences this first hand. I also saw it far too often in my professional life, both as a nurse and as a massage therapist. The thing that I found myself doing most often as a health care provider, and the thing that offered the most healing, is listening. Just. Listening.
    I am one strong-ass 49 year old woman. I have and continue to go through serious shit (as do we all). I cry, yell, swear like a sailor, and vent. I over-react, over-analyze, and take things too personally when I am out of balance. I have been told that I am “over-sensitive” more times than I care to admit. It hurts the same each time. But I am also a kind, loving, open, compassionate and flawed work in progress, in the best way possible. I learn and I grow. I survive and I move forward. Every single day. I do not do so by ‘sucking it up’ or swallowing my feelings, and I try not to make others feel like they should.
    There is beauty and growth in weakness. It connects us all as human beings. It is universal, powerful, and unending.
    Words have power, so chose them wisely.
    Just Love. ????

    Ps-I did not intend to write so much, but as I wrote I began to see how strongly I feel about this. And each time I typed the words ‘suck it up’, in any form, I felt the visceral pain it created in my body. So I apologize for over-sharing my over-sensitive feelings, but I do not know how to ‘suck them up’, nor do I care to.

    This:
    https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw

  11. This is an interesting article, thank you for sharing, though it doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe it’s the negative attachment that your feelings aren’t validated or hold value. I total get and agree that sometimes to “get through it” you have to “move past it” but having feelings and being sentient beings doesn’t make us weak, any of us male or female. If saying the phrase “suck it up” works for you great, we all need something that helps us get through. However, there are some, I feel, that would take this in a much harder way. Causing them to shut down and to not push through because of the lack of empathy and lack of validation the phrase causes and could push them over the edge, whatever edge they may be on, and it seems in our world today far to many people are on some kind of edge. I read and shared an article recently that got no response from the Facebook community which I found to be relevant and poignant. Though I’m not just talking about suicide but also all the mass shootings we see on the news everyday and the extremes people are taking everyday. It seems our world is split between extremes these days and I feel it’s important to recognize this and exercise caution from extreme measures even in language because it could mean “the difference” in someone’s life. You never know what someone’s been through or where they are in their life and how they have learned to process the world around them, we all come from different experiences life has tested us with. If it helps you to say “suck it up” great but what works for some doesn’t work for everyone.

    Sorry for the long comment, but I believe in talking about the things we feel strongly about when the “community” is open for discussion, this seems to be a healthy way for people and the community as a whole to grow and heal. Thank you again for sharing this.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2015/12/31/the-message-our-children-need-to-hear-but-almost-never-do/?postshare=8231451583593394&tid=ss_fb-bottom

  12. Thank you for this article!!!!!!!!! I’m pregnant with my first child right now, and honestly, the over-sympathy of some people really, really grates on me. I mean, other women mean well, but I think it’s important that more people acknowledge that everyone is different and has different needs. So just because other women may want or need barrels of sympathy and shared tears all the time, that’s not for me.

    I recognize the importance of having sympathy for another at particular times, but I’m also not a coddler and don’t like being coddled. So what’s really helpful to me when I’m nauseous and puky is NOT when other women talk on and on about how “oh, I’m so sorry, that’s the worst thing ever, I went through that very thing, just offer it up and suffer through, think about the little baby inside your belly.” Nope, for me, it’s when my husband briefly checks with me if I need something and then the two of us move on with life and other conversations. Thankfully, even though I’ve only had one appointment with my midwife, she seems very blunt and the kind of person who would get in my face and tell me to “suck it up,” so I’m pretty happy :)

  13. Sarah. Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear this today so much! I was feeling very overwhelmed today while I was wrangling my 6 kids alone at church. My husband doesn’t attend with me and my oldest is 9 youngest 2 months. I choose to go because I want to be there but my toddler was giving me heck and I sat in the hall during the main meeting with tears streaming down my face wondering how I was going to do this alone. Your article is my answer. I am generally a very independent person but my rowdy brute of a two year old makes me feel extremely inadequate. I needed this boost of suck it up/ you can do this today. Thank you for not sugar coating it.

    1. Chantel –

      Don’t give up. You can do this. 2 year olds are sooo hard. Stay strong, cry if you need to and believe in yourself. You are not inadequate – you are EXACTLY the mother your babies need. YOU CAN DO THIS, MAMA!

  14. Thank you so much! At first I thought it sounded harsh, but then I realized I COULD do hard things. I have in the past and I can do them now I have two little ones. I have been struggling lately very much and feeling like I can’t, things are too hard, too much. I wanted pity, and I did feel like wet tissue paper.
    Then last night I read this. Wow! Just what I needed.
    I’ve been thinking about this all day and it’s going to be my new motto. It acknowledges the things are hard, but I am tougher. I can do them. I can do hard things.
    Still not so keen on suck it up, but you bet I will be doing those hard things from now on.
    So perfect. Thank you again.

  15. I get what you are saying. I needed this! “Suck it up” can be just what you need to get over a hump. Not always, but I don’t think you are saying that it’s always the right answer. Good writing!

  16. As a guy, I think it’s kinda funny that “suck it up” is considered by many to be “rude, condescending, and harmful.” When I played football in high school, we heard that phrase all the time. I always took it to mean, “stop whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and just do what you’re supposed to, what you’re capable of.” As a dad of daughters, I’ve not used that phrase very often. But just the other day I texted that to my grown daughter who was basically lamenting how hard life is as an adult (and honestly, her life is not that hard). She didn’t need sympathy, empathy, or someone to listen – she just needed a reality check, an attitude adjustment.

    I would never tell someone who is genuinely scared, hurting, or confused to “just suck it up.” But 80% of the time, folks are just whining and complaining.

  17. I’m a labor and delivery nurse in the Bay Area and a mother of two. I love my job, I’ve been doing this for nearly 9 years and am so honored to do my work. I have to say this article rang true for me. To be clear I believe in compassion and believe in being a supportive, competent labor nurse. But sometimes, that skill and competence that I have nurtured over the past 9 years, can come out as tough love for my patients. Sometime you have to get your patients attentention and remind them that they can do it. In fact only she can and she needs to pull it together and get her job done, because she is so close. Her reward will be holding her baby. Having a baby is hard work and very painful. We do a disservice to our patients by calling it anything else, it’s work! That’s not to say it can’t be a lovely experience, rewarding and shaped to the moms desires and wishes. But she’s got to do the labor and when the panic hits because it’s a pain that no one can truly prepare you for, you have to gather your strength and carry on.

  18. Just a thought…. does anybody think that maybe the customer was a pure tail and needed to be reminded of some respect. It is not like you intentionally did this, I think we too often forget this today. We get mad and offended at people for no reason. Some people can take that advice and do great. Some people do need it in another form that is not quite so harsh. Just another thought, all people are not alike and handle things differently. However with that said this is an awesome article and very inspiring. Wishing you the best in life!

  19. Jeez people! Suck it up and get on with it! It is NOT demoralizing, it is meant to shock you into thinking. Meant to strengthen you. Life is not always easy so suck it up and move on.

  20. I love this article. I often joked with my kids (now grown) and friends that I could never have passed as a therapist because I would have started the ‘suck it up’ school of psychology. One of my daughters, maybe all of them, has felt that I wasn’t compassionate enough, that other moms would ‘feel’ things with them over every little thing. I hope the my kids have grown to learn that I showed that compassion they wanted when I realized it was really necessary and that at other times when I encouraged them to suck it up, maybe not in those exact words, it was to encourage them to become the independent women they are. For real, you sometimes just have to put your big girl panties on and do it.

  21. I don’t know…the tough love, tell it like it is, suck it up approach doesn’t work with everybody and it doesn’t work with me. Personalities and the emotional state of the person has to be considered. Often times, we just need someone to listen and to care and to give us a shoulder to cry on.

  22. Best story I’ve read, outside military channels, in 8 years! Advice is taken or rejected based on a person’s self-efficacy. If you need to be coddled, keep crying….someone will come along quickly to console you. If you’re self-motivated then a verbal kick in the pants is exactly the right jump start you need. People who make it through basic training are essentially independent. Those who don’t, aren’t. The military is the purest cross-section of “Americans” imaginable.

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  32. Holy cow, I loved this…soooo well said! I am beyond tired of the cry baby/safe space culture we have created. True empowerment does not come from avoiding having your feelings hurt…it comes from overcoming difficult people or situations rather than being overcome by them.

    I was only doing a quick search to see what I could do with my overcooked kidney beans, but somehow I ended up on Mothering….my old friend. Though my baby (of five) is a high school freshman, I thought I’d browse a few of the articles for nostalgia’s sake. Glad you’re still here Mothering, though I do miss your old beautiful print magazines from the early 90’s.

  33. I think “suck it up” is an awful phrase, very insensitive, negative and dismissive of another person’s feelings. Sometimes people need to have their difficulties validated and to be given encouragement. It is possible to do this without implying that the person is weak and pathetic. The pregnancy and birth of my third baby was particularly emotional for me because he was a rainbow baby, having lost my second baby at 13 weeks. “Suck it up” would not have helped. What did help was being listened to, having my feelings acknowledged and being given support and encouragement. Perhaps baby loss is not what the writer is referring to here, but our previous experiences form who we are and will influence how we perceive and respond to other difficulties in our lives. We are all different, and my belief is that a gentler approach is best as default because you can never really know what else a person is dealing with.

  34. I’m perfectly fine with suck it up. Of course, sometimes people need compassion. So, maybe a big hug followed by a suck it up. My personal go-to, though, is power through. You can do it always makes me want to tell people, “easy for you to say, you’re not doing it”. I never realized how often I say it until my brother told me that he got through a hard spell by doing what I always say to do-power through. Saying it to myself makes me fee, well…empowered.

  35. Hi Sarah,

    I also believe that “you can do this” and “suck it up” are very different admonishments. However, “suck it up” is exactly what I needed to hear today. So thank you!!!

    Have a good one.

  36. I’ve been told I’m not “maternal” because I don’t coddle my kids much and I’m not very affectionate I never have been. I do have empathy though and I try not to be a hypocrite. I have friends that call me for advice specifically because I don’t sugar coat and I have friends that avoid complaint to me because they know that while I’ll understand and won’t be judgy I’m gonna tell them to “man up” and keep moving forward. I agree with you life so hard sometimes and we have to things all the time that we don’t want to. But you don’t get where you want to go by whining about it forever. Lose your job? Find another one. House is a mess? Clean it. Don’t know how to do something? Figure it out and get it done. Your sad? Be sad….put yourself on autopilot for a bit but keep moving forward while you sort through it.
    I’ve had my share of tough times. I know plenty of people who have had it worse and still come out okay and people who have had it much easier and still can’t get their act together. I worked with this lady once who had a sob story every day. She could turn the must mundane vanilla morning into a tragedy. ” Oh my god, this morning my alarm didn’t go off so I woke up like 15 minutes late getting up and my floor was cold so I had to find my house slippers and they were all the way on the other side of the room and then my shampoo was empty so I didn’t get to wash my hair and then when I was eating breakfast I realized we were almost out of milk so NOW I have to go to the store on my way home and THEN I couldnt find my keys and had to look all over the place and they ended up being In My purse and I swear I left them on the counter and while I was driving to work there was sooooo much traffic and blahblahblahah….” It drove me nuts so one day I snapped and told her enough. I keep waiting for the big moment in the story that justifies taking 15 minutes of my life to stand here politely nodding my head and it never comes. That’s everyone’s morning….all of us who make it out of bed every morning have a dozen little inconveniences thrown at us and we just plow through it and it doesn’t even blip on the “shitty morning radar.”
    She then proceeded to use my words with her as a weeks worth of fuel for her pity train.
    And there were those who wiped her tears everyday and patted her poor delicate back and gave me the side eye….that’s fine too if that’s how you want to start your day. She ended up getting fired because she couldn’t get her job done, ever. There was always a reason and someone always willing to help until all of a sudden there wasn’t. And everyone had their own deadlines and stuff to get done….
    So were they helping her? Seems like they just prolonged an inevitable lesson.
    Suck it up.

  37. Sorry for long comment. I’m not a mom and way too young to be. But I’ve been struggling between self-pity and self-hate; forgiveness and the stupidity and cringe of my conscious and voluntary actions; and the harsh society clashing against my sympathy towards even the vilest of people and the most pathetic of actions. I tried to find if anyone had that same problem, so Google search sent me this.

    “Suck it up” isn’t always encouraging advice. It’s often a phrase people use to invalidate people’s sufferings, so I don’t see it as positively as others. To others it means they have no right to feel bad, because they’re lucky or weak or deserving of their crimes. Damn it, what’s wrong with wanting a hug and some pity and some nice talk? Do we have to “deserve” it?

    But thanks for reframing that suck-it-up mindset. I don’t want to be a bruising marshmallow all the time. I’m just trying to develop a thicker skin without being cruel to anyone or hating myself. Because that’s what “suck it up” meant to me.

  38. I agree to some point, but what I’m finding is the ” suck it up” is causing women to neglect themselves. I had almost died having my youngest, and lost half my blood supply, I had the most horrible pain in my back and I’m not a weenie. I’ve birth 2 daughters naturally! But when my midwife said suck it up, I want her hit her, if I hadn’t been busying dying, I would have. You see no one knows the pain someone might be suffering. I had severe and I mean severe pain in birthing my second. I had it with my first as you say ” we all do it”. There is a limit here. The midwife or Doctor should already know the patient enough to know how they handle pain. What is the worst thing they have encounter thus far. Myself, I’d already been through a head on collision and my arm was broke in half…. I know pain. I had already had major surgeries, I had already had a incompetent ER Doctor operate on my finger with no anesthesia …. MY God I know pain. So when my midwife said stop screaming and we all have back pain, she was a utter idiot. I don’t ever scream like that! Not even when my was arm dangling from my the attached part of my arm. She should have known that and understood my pain tolerance. Turns out I’ve had a major injury now for 12 years due to that comment. No one took my screaming in agony seriously. I’m almost disabled. So telling women to suck it up… can be abusive, teaching them they have to ignore pain and suffering and basically causing one of the main issue in today’s world with women. Self sacrifice, superwoman persona. self neglect. The second issue this is causing is to teach woman to become masculine. It’s true, and it is causing major issues in romantic relationships. ” I can do it, I’m a woman” attitude prevents woman from seeking help, connecting with other woman. This is creating major issues with women, chronic fatigue, adrenal burnout and more. Women learn to become men…. and I won’t go into that b/c it is another article. Giving birth you have one choice push the child out of you. There is not I can’t do this, and supporting a woman is better than yelling in her face. How can I help you do this, is better, or what do you need right now? Encouragement, allow her to make the decision, she might need to go to the hospital as I did. If I hadn’t of smacked my hand down in outright rage ” take me to the hospital or I’ll take myself and call 911″ I wouldn’t be here today! This shouldn’t have had to happen and the midwife thought I was being “weak”… turns out as I said I almost died. Get over yourselves women, stop training women to be MEN! Support each other and encourage and seek to understand. Lisa Hawkins <3

  39. But, of course, if suck it up doesn’t work for you, you can always kiss the feet of your anesthesiologist. God bless those people.

  40. Thank you so much!!!! I was almost in tears! I just found out I am pregnant with 4th child. Child A-15 /Child B-10 /Child C-1y3w/ Child D 3w preg. I know I can do it but It was rough to get through first year after nearly 10 years and the second child is medically needy and has sensory processing child issues. I am concerned about balancing it all since I am still nursing my 1 year old and he is not quite on solids yet. I have to go on bed rest with 2 of my pregnancies. I also have varicose vein issues bad, but I will suck it up as best I can and get through. I have too.

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