The Female Dance of Compare and Despair



Hi Friends,

I was working with a client who was triggered by another mother at a playdate. In the other woman’s home, my client immediately felt overwhelmed with the sense of her own inadequency. The other mother’s house was clean, her body was fit, her children seemed happy and well-adjusted and she had the sleep-issue dialed into perfection.

I think there are elements of this scenario that come up for almost every mom at some point. Mothers are women and women often compare and despair…

My client and I spoke at length about her own strengths, and what she could “write the book on” based on her own experience. It was helpful to reframe the story with a sense of expansion…there is room for all of us to shine, and what is your strength may be another’s struggle. Sometimes we take for granted what comes easily to us.

A simple affirmation & visualization exercise came to me following our session and I thought it might prove helpful to another mom who finds herself spiraling down into defeatism and self-deprication.

At the moment of overwhelm, breathe, and practice a new thought:

“Wow, how wonderful that this other woman is succeeding in this way. She has a quality that I wish to embody as well.”


Now, visualize yourself embodying this very same quality. Own it, it is yours.


“I am thankful for all the success and mastery I have already integrated into my life.”


Now, see yourself shining in the ways your life is already working. Breathe this image in.



"I love her advice."--Carrie-Anne Moss. 310-242-7081.

“I love her advice.”–Carrie-Anne Moss. 310-242-7081.

Momma Workshop, Singing For The Spirit, Sunday, February 20, Los Angeles!!! Email: [email protected] for information.

Jessica Williams

About Jessica Williams

Jessica Williams created L.O.V.E. Parenting with a series of techniques for effective communication, deepened connection and more joy in parenting and life. Jessica is also the creator of with the best of today’s progressive parenting experts together in one program. Jessica is a featured expert internationally on both’s Ask An Expert and the upcoming Jessica is a regular contributor to Mothering Magazine’s All Things Mothering, LA Parent Magazine, LA Mom Magazine & DailyBuzzMoms. She has been interviewed on television and radio and taught workshops at family wellness centers, schools and doctor’s offices. Her BirthKit has helped women have a transformational & empowering birth. Jessica maintains a private coaching practice in her native Los Angeles where she lives with her husband and their three children. “Truly amazing woman. I love her advice.”—Carrie-Anne Moss. “All you have shared has helped tremendously.”—Lisa Bonet. “I am experiencing nothing short of a miracle thanks to your laser beam approach.” –Andrea Bendewald.

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