The Flower Girl by www.LoveParentingLA.com
A crowning moment for parents of girls can be watching their daughter as a flower girl in a friend or family member’s wedding; your princess, immaculate, eyes-wide, hair-curled, dress-pressed, stockings-white and shoes-shiny, playing a part in one of the oldest rituals of time, the sanctification of the union between husband and wife. The flower girl represents the couple’s future if they are so blessed to procreate, and the flowers represents the sweetness, beauty and fragility of new life and the effortlessness of love that springs forth from the heart like a bloom from the earth.
Cut to reality: You are in your dress praying to remain stain-free, your husband is in his suit hoping to stay wrinkle-free, your six-month old wants to nurse, and your three-year old is sniffling, squirming, and now screaming that she will not get in her dress because it’s itchy. The church bells toll. You panic, you sweat, you swear, you threaten and on your knees, in an impassioned stage whisper, you beg. You are breaking down.
There are a few L.O.V.E. Parenting preventative measures that may prove helpful to set you up for smooth sailing to avoid this type of melt-down in the future. This is necessitates full-disclosure on your part as to all that is required in the situation at hand, and perhaps, allowing a choice on your child’s part, so that they know what they are getting into and can choose whether or not to participate ahead of time. If choice is not an option, then explaining the expectations can at least soften the blow, so they will understand exactly of what is required of them, and can see the positive aspects of the role as well as the demands.
Setting the stage for being a flower girl could include:
Being a flower girl is a tremendous honor as you are part of one of the most important days in the lifetime of this couple, as well, you are part of the actual ceremony, and you are in special wedding photographs.
You will have to wear a beautiful but potentially scratchy dress, nice but often “too hot” stockings and fancy but possibly uncomfortable shoes.
You will have to refrain from playing and eating once dressed because your outfit must remain scuff-free from head to toe.
Once the ceremony starts you won’t be allowed to go to talk, go the bathroom, get a drink of water, or sit down.
After the ceremony you will have to wait, sit still and smile for the pictures.
Setting the stage with your child creates a collective frame of reference before the day of the event which can at least serve as a touch-stone if resistance arises. Enjoy the day and the process!
About Jessica Williams
Jessica Williams created L.O.V.E. Parenting with a series of techniques for effective communication, deepened connection and more joy in parenting and life. Jessica is also the creator of www.UltimateParentingCourse.com with the best of today’s progressive parenting experts together in one program. Jessica is a featured expert internationally on both Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert and the upcoming www.KidsInTheHouse.com. Jessica is a regular contributor to Mothering Magazine’s All Things Mothering, LA Parent Magazine, LA Mom Magazine & DailyBuzzMoms. She has been interviewed on television and radio and taught workshops at family wellness centers, schools and doctor’s offices. Her BirthKit has helped women have a transformational & empowering birth. Jessica maintains a private coaching practice in her native Los Angeles where she lives with her husband and their three children. “Truly amazing woman. I love her advice.”—Carrie-Anne Moss. “All you have shared has helped tremendously.”—Lisa Bonet. “I am experiencing nothing short of a miracle thanks to your laser beam approach.” –Andrea Bendewald.