There’s Always Something to Make You Feel Like a Bad Mom

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Moms, there’s always something.

My 3-month-old baby is an amazing sleeper. I mean, the dude wakes 0-2 times a night. I thought kids like this were a myth (and it’s true that his good-sleeper-ness could change at any time).

But he cries in the car. Sometimes I have to pull over to tend to him in the back, or sit next to him while my husband drives. My first son was a TERRIBLE sleeper. But he never cried in the car.

My older son is a wild child. Tons of energy. He broke our friend’s lamp once by doing karate moves inside. He broke my husband’s glasses while wrestling. Never seems to sleep enough. But he’s brave and independent. Great at entertaining himself and helping others. Makes new friends easily, really funny, never says an unkind word.

My friend’s kid is super sweet. Calm and mild-mannered, I’ve often witnessed her playing softly while my son needs frequent reminders to bring it down a notch (or bring it outside!), and I’ve wished he could be more like her. But, then, she’s clingy and needy and easily scared. I see it wear on my friend. Maybe she wishes her child was more like mine.

Maybe you have the wild child. Or the super needy clingy one. Or the one who’s terrified of bugs. Or the one who sleeps 12 hours a night but throws massive tantrums. Or the one who wakes every hour but cooperates beautifully.

Regardless of the person you birthed, there’s always something. Something that overwhelms us or drives us nuts, something that makes us feel like we’re not doing a good job.

You are not alone. Mothers all over the world experience this. There may always be something that frustrates us, something that makes us wonder, “why my kid??” But there are many more things to love and appreciate and be grateful for.

3 thoughts on “There’s Always Something to Make You Feel Like a Bad Mom”

  1. A lot can really relate to this including myself but realized that there’s no perfect mom. Just be the best and a deserving mom to your child and no doubt that’s what our children wants too.

  2. Thanks for this reminder we all are struggling & doing the best we can. I saw a hilarious (but true) coffee cup on pinterest that said-“Behind Every Great kid is a Mom that’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up” I try to say that to myself & laugh at how silly it is anytime my internal self talk gets to negative :)

  3. Hi Kristen, thank you for your wise and yet tender thoughts. I needed to be reminded that there certainly are “types” of children..and no one fits into a mold of “this is how a child should act at such and such an age”..many times I question my parenting due to pesky but still appreciated in-laws that judge them–“she needs to calm down” or that I witness reprimanding them for silly things as I silently witness and don’t agree–there just ARE certain personality dispositions that certainly can be guided toward balance… But, man, truly kids will be kids and let them explore and be a bit wild. Your piece reminded me that I need to defend them more against those with a more rigid thought process, despite loving them.

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