There’s Something Very Special About Birth That We Seldom Talk About

There's Something Very Special About Birth That We Seldom Talk About

If you are new to the pregnancy scene it doesn’t take long to discover that everyone from the checker at the grocery store to your hairdresser has something important to share with you regarding childbirth, pregnancy, and the coming baby.

People give advice, warnings, congratulations, help and even criticism. Very often it seems that new and expecting mothers are a little taken aback by the constant influx of unasked for input.

Why is it that everyone cares about and is suddenly verbose when it comes to all subjects relating to birth?

Why are people so offended, excited, or outspoken?

Birth is, of course, very common. We are all born. Many of us will give birth ourselves. It is one of the still almost universal things about humanity. Yet, despite its commonplace nature, childbirth is far from mundane.

I recently heard a talk from Virginia Pearce talking about “thin places” on earth. The concept of a “thin place” is not new. In Celtic beliefs there was this idea of thin places- often geographical locations- where the barrier between earthly life and the heavens was not so strong – a thin place where heaven meets earth.

Ms Pearce takes this a step further and notices that it’s not just geography that can make a thin place, but experience.

Maybe it’s the moment when you fell in love, or time of solitude when you gained needed personal understanding.

Maybe you have experienced a thin place as you sat with a loved one as they passed out of this life.

I know we all have different beliefs about this life, the afterlife, and if there even is one. This is one of the blessings of humanity – our differences and our ability to see them and love each other still.

To me, and I believe to many of us, childbirth is a thin place. I remember vividly a moment when I was laboring with my second child.  I was in a birth tub, somewhere between 8 centimeters and meeting my baby, though a number the size of a softball surely doesn’t do justice to that experience – when I felt I was in a thin place. I was, in fact, very sure that I was going to die.

I don’t tell birthing women about that to scare them, but because it is the only way I can communicate the incredibly intense and overwhelming place I was existing in at that moment. I was experiencing a pain so vivid and all consuming, a feeling of splitting into two people, that I was sure I was on the brink of death.

In reality, I was a very healthy young woman who was simply having a baby. But that moment and the precious moments that followed were a thin place for me.

I was on earth but I was barely there. I was close to touching something much different, much bigger. The experience was more than physical, more than emotional, more than spiritual. It wasn’t easy but it was transcendent.

When our daughter took her first breaths, snuggled up close and began to nurse, that too was a thin place. I’m old enough that this was the first time in our lives as a couple that we had these fancy new “cell phones.” Shortly after the birth my husband was on the phone calling family members and telling them about our new edition. We lived far from family and everyone wanted the news.

birth as a thin place

It seemed that the air thickened and the distance between earth and something beyond grew once we welcomed that technology back in and reached out again to others.

I have spent the last 12 years immersed in childbirth. First I was just preparing for my own baby’s birth. Then I suddenly committed to helping others prepare. Why would I and hundreds of other childbirth educators possibly care about how other people have their babies? Why does it matter to me what other people do in this private moment?!

This is a good question, and one which, honestly, it took me years to be able to really answer.

At first it was just this nameless passion. “Well, I want people to have great births! Birth can be awesome!” I thought. But I realize now it is more than that. Crazy birth people don’t just care about birth because they are crazy or pushy or want people to do what they think they should do. Some of us have been blessed with these thin moments where we can almost, almost touch something else that is far beyond ourselves.

All I can say now is that I truly believe that women, their partners, their babies, their families – they all deserve for birth to be a sacred experience like I experienced. They deserve to walk in a thin place. To touch heaven.

People think this is all about natural birth, it isn’t. This is about honoring the special thing that birth is.

I think EVERY birth is a thin place.

In fact, I kind of think that is what draws many people to birth work as doulas, midwives, and childbirth educators. While we get paid for this work, it is still an honor to simply witness this moment as women experience it. It is an honor to hold that space and recognize its importance, its ability to be deeply profound.

The sad thing is that all too often birth isn’t recognized as a thin place.

When we get caught up in the routine, the “everyday” of birth, sometimes those that are there don’t witness and hold space, they just go through the motions or stick with the “policy” of birth in a particular venue, we miss out on what that experience can and should be.

birth as a thin place

 

Why do I and so many others care about birth? Why do we keep talking about it? Why do we get bothered when people treat it like just another medical procedure?  Motherhood…I don’t know how to say it nicely…it isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be crushingly difficult and make you hurt places you didn’t know you could hurt.

Starting the journey of motherhood by touching heaven, no matter how you gave birthit’s a start that we can all benefit from having.

If you feel that your birth wasn’t the sacred experience it should have been, never fear, parenting will bring many more moments like it.  You’ll see them.  Many of them.

In the meantime, let’s honor the thin place of childbirth a little bit more.

Photo credit: David Swift Photography Thanks for 19 million view via Foter.com / CC BY, Photo credit: theogeo via Foter.com / CC BY,


8 thoughts on “There’s Something Very Special About Birth That We Seldom Talk About”

  1. I have been to this place with each of my births. It is always so hard to explain it! For me it has felt almost like a different reality, and one where nothing seems to bother me – almost as if all negative emotion (frustration, irritability etc) is removed and all positive (love, gratitude) is intensified. I felt when I left that space and always was bummed!! My longest stay there was actually when we had our stillborn son – I was in that space for four months and felt enveloped in such love and clarity and synchronicity. Thank you for this post! I am currently 39 weeks and was feeling a bit nervous about birth and this article reminded me of that sacred space I get to visit’as a birthing mother. ❤️

  2. Wonderful blog. I felt this too labouring with my son… but I felt the energy of the universe pouring in to me from all the birthing mothers before me… I felt a collective universal loving support that helped me through my labour and it was a beautiful experience. 20 weeks pregnant now And looking forward to experiencing this again… trying to let all the medical procedure hype from the consultants bounce off me. I know it can be peaceful and beautiful xx

  3. It felt like reading a passage from my own life, not only as a mother experiencing birth, but as a birth doula witnessing this extraordinary event in other mothers lives and their partners.

    Thank you for putting into words how I have felt to many times to count on this journey. I too have had profound experiences with the thin places with the deaths of loved ones. Thank you again and Namaste!

  4. What a well-written article that did a wonderful job of conveying that which is often so hard to describe. I have 3 amazing births where I went to that thin place. I have called it “birthland.” There comes that time in labor where the journey we are on, as in husband, midwife, doula, me and baby, has me and baby splitting off and saying “we’ll meet you on the other side of the mountain.” No matter how wonderful they are, they are not able to go to that exact place I am going but will take an easier route to the other side. I have traveled many hours in that “thin place” that has me being “born again” as a mother. Mystical is a word to describe this place. I feel that I’m having an out of body experience within myself. Thank you for this article.

  5. I agree with you that childbirth is a ‘thin place’. To me, it is a profoundly sacred experience that nothing can prepare you for and that is like nothing else on earth.

    I found your essay here just after looking at the photographs on a previous page of women giving birth.

    In one, a labouring woman is described simply as a surrogate. But she, too, has experienced that thin place during her labour. I think dismissing any woman as simply a vessel for others to create a family really dismisses the effect on her, and her child, of losing each other after simultaneously sharing this thin place.

    I think that loss may well echo throughout both their lives, without ever being able to be named.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *