Three documentaries have caught my eye recently. I have Donor Unknown saved on Netflix. It’s about a woman who goes in search of her biological father, sperm donor 150. TechnoStorks follows three couples undergoing fertility treatments. And Google Baby is the HBO documentary that was released last year about outsourcing surrogacy to India.
Ron and I have been talking about surrogacy lately. Not approaching it in the way of the documentary. But in a more personal way. A friend has offered to carry our baby — “to be his/her home for awhile,” she said. So…how would this work? My husband and I would offer our genetic material, egg and sperm, to be joined in a lab, and then the embryo would be transferred to the uterus of another woman, where the growing baby would share her blood, and hear her heartbeat, and listen to her voice…and then, after birth, taken from that woman and returned to our arms.
What does all that mean?
Is that a good idea? The baby will be loved not only by us, but also our friend.
But then again – does all that switching back and forth cause harm to the baby on a level my husband and I can’t even fathom?
As I wander in the wild world of infertility, these are hard, deep, and important questions. I don’t know the answers. It probably differs depending on people involved and the circumstances. But I keep asking the questions, knowing that as we move forward, we want to do so carefully, mindfully, and lovingly.
About Jenny Rough
Jenny Rough is a lawyer-turned-writer. Visit her on the web at www.jennyrough.com