vibin’ eyes and more

Note to self: ingestion of large cup of coffee plus half of mascarpone super-rich brownie makes your eyes vibrate in their sockets. Who sold you on that plan?

Today a friend told me that she had heard that my kids now lived with their dad full-time. That threw me.

We share the kids 50/50, in a very modern arrangement which gives their dad time more than “Disneyland Dad” lip service (and praise be that he is such a committed dad that he would want nothing less). I certainly feel torn about it sometimes, but in many ways, I feel like I am a better mom because I get a little time to recharge my batteries. In an ideal world, we would all share a perfectly designed two-family house and the kids could flow back and forth while the sets of adults had their privacy from each other. But, we don’t…and I bet it would have its own set of issues, like, “I’d rather eat dinner at dad’s/mom’s house because your food is yucky,” or whatnot…lest I lose my (vibratory) train of thought, we don’t all live together slash apart, and we do privilege each parent’s role…and I guess sometimes that reads as a little confusing. 

I asked the friend who heard that,”Who said it and how did they come to that conclusion?” She said that the person visited the kid’s dad and his partner at their house, and the kids happened to be there that day. She assumed that meant that the kids lived with them full-time. So it’s not some wild and crazy rumor, just a misunderstanding. Well, phew. And, it pointed out to me how tender I feel about it, in some hard-to-reach part of my mama heart. Not what we had intended…but, what is. Here’s where I want to come up with something really sage and surrendered to say in closing, but all I do have is a lot of gratitude that I love and respect every member of our unconventional, yet uber-operational family.


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on Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm and is filed under mama on the spot.
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