When you become a mother you unofficially join a sisterhood.
When you become a mother you unofficially join a sisterhood, tribe, posse, sorority, crew, squad (whatever you want to call it) of moms.


Be it a friendly smile from a passing mom while you're covered in food and chasing after your toddler; or a friend you can message anytime about a baby's fever; or a group of new mothers you meet up with to rant about all things mommy related. Support from other mothers can make a tremendous difference when it comes to motherhood struggles.

When I found out I was pregnant I was thousands of miles away from my family and friends. It was scary to think of going through my first pregnancy alone. And even scarier being stuck at home with a newborn without my support network.

A couple of my friends from my hometown were near the end of their pregnancies, and I would text lists of questions to them: Is this pain normal? How do I handle morning sickness? What do I do about the weird pregnancy symptoms I'm experiencing?

Related: Why I Love My Great Tribe of Mothers

But no amount of texts and emails can replace going for coffee and long chats with friends. Luckily my husband comes from a big Greek family - a family that happened to be experiencing a baby boom. Within a year of my baby boy's birth, five baby cousins were also born.

My husband's cousins quickly became close friends as we went through pregnancy together. It was easy to compare our growing bellies, strange cravings, and birth plans. We celebrated together with our due dates a couple days apart, and had a three-bump baby shower.

Friends who recently gave birth became my guidance and encouragement. They were the women who told you the nitty-gritty of child birth and motherhood. What you actually need, such as the biggest pads you can find for your hospital bag.

One new mom, who also had terrible morning sickness, sent me positive messages almost every day checking on me and reassuring me constantly it would pass soon.

Baby playdates give babies the chance to socialize with each other, but they are often just an excuse to get together with other mothers. In most cases babies could care less about other babies in the first year. Little ones often sit, examine new toys and ignore each other while their moms catch up over coffee and cookies.

Nevertheless, these dates are a reason to get out of the messy house and have an adult conversation, which inevitably ends up being about your kids. It's the chance to rant, get advice, tell funny stories, go over your child's latest milestone, confide in your failures, be comforted when your child is sick and be reassured of what's normal.

Now that my baby is older, one of my favorite things to do is watch him play and interact with his little friends at playdates. You are exposed to a new side of your baby's personality. Friends' babies become a part of your family as you watch them grow and celebrate their accomplishments together.

Related: Finding My Tribe After the Death of My Daughter

But the most important part of baby groups is to talk and understand that other mothers are going through the same emotions, hardships, challenges and struggles as you - to be honest about the imperfections of motherhood, and to realize you are not alone.

Living in a small community with plenty of family made it easy to be a part of baby groups and to find playdates. My baby boy and I started baby classes when he was three months and our baby network quickly grew.

But for some new mothers it's not as easy. I was surprised how quick moms make friends with each other. By joining a baby class, be it baby yoga or baby sensory group, or even just going to the park, new moms in most cases are open to a new friendship and playmate for their little one. And online there is an excessive amount of support and resources for parents who want to meet up.

The saying it takes a village to raise a baby may not be practice as it once was, but it still holds the same value.

A study from the American Journal of Community Psychology analyzed 66 studies that looked at the relationship between social support available to mother and maternal behavior and attitudes. It concluded that, "Support from friends and family help new mothers deal better with stress, and this has been proven to help mothers see their children in a more positive light. Mothers who have the help of people they trust feel more self-esteem, confidence as a parent, and struggle less to access information that helps them problem-solve for their bundle of joy."

Another study from the journal of Child Development found that support doesn't only benefit mothers, but also infants. "Mothers with greater stress were less positive in their attitudes and behavior, while mothers with greater support were significantly more positive. Intimate support proved to have the most general positive effects. Maternal social support was further found to have several significant effects on infant interactive behavior."

When you become a mother, old friendships change - for better and worse. You have less time for socializing and going out. Some baby-free friends might not understand this. Some will come to your rescue. The truth is, it's hard to understand how a baby can wipe out your social life without being a parent.

Acquaintances that are parents quickly become close friends. All of sudden you have a world in common. They go through the ups and downs of motherhood with you. You grow into your roles as mothers together as you watch each other's babies grow up.

As a busy and tired mom, it is easy to skip playdates and baby groups. Packing up the kids and car for another outing might seem like a big headache. But taking time to be a part of of a mommy group can be refreshing and encouraging.

It is a special bond between mothers, one that should be nurtured and cherished.