Attachment Parenting and Comforting My Toddler

Naomi Aldort

My two and a half year old daughter is pretty affectionate and says sweet things and hugs and kisses but when something happens and she is crying she refuses to hold me or be calmed! I think this behavior is the result of me just ignoring her when she cries and implementing the CIO method (to the fullest extent). My questions are- do your toddlers act that way (won't be calmed by you) and how do I reverse this behavior?!! I want her to rely on me, I want her to feel comfortable with me to sooth her! She is my baby, this is breaking my heart! What can I do?!

Dear parent,

You already recognized the cause of your daughter’s mistrust of you. Congratulations. When you put her to sleep alone and ignored her crying, she learned to perceive you as not on her side, acting against her real needs. All you have to do is change your ways. Over time she will trust you again.

My toddlers wanted my comforting and yours will want yours as soon as you become her ally. Go to sleep together in one family bed and at the same time. Find all the other areas you may be controlling and stirring her against herself. Your child is your mirror. When you fully trust her, she will trust you and seek your comforting love.

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Attachment Parenting and Comforting My Toddler

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