Bedtimes

It can be such a challenge to know just how much guidance to give children, and how much freedom and trust. I like your phrase "to an extent". I think at this young age it would be helpful to have a light but flexible schedule in mind, especially for sleeping, because children can have a "second wind" and not realize how tired they are—sometimes adults have the same experience. And like adults, children vary as to the time they're ready for sleep on a particular day, depending on many factors, such as physical activity, stressful experiences, and the kinds of food they've had that day (breastfeeding moms should avoid stimulants such as coffee and chocolate).

Taking this natural variation into account, it would be best to have a window of time in mind and not an exact time. For example, you might say, "Oh it's 8:00—let's get some apple and cheese" (a combination of foods that helps the brain create tryptophan) and help them get ready for bed. Having a loose schedule for the next day can help the parents to relax about bedtimes—yet another benefit to unschooling.

Having a regular nighttime ritual, such as book reading, a massage, or quiet music, can be very helpful. Usually children who dawdle at bedtime are fighting separation rather than sleep; staying with them until they fall asleep, and joining them later when you're ready for bed, will help them to relax and get the rest they need. Recent research shows that cosleeping reduces stress: http://www. timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2179265,00.html. See also my article "Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child".

While it's never good to have too rigid a structure that ignores a child's needs and wishes, children at this age do like to know what to expect in a general way. Everything in moderation!