You Can Breastfeed by E-Mail and Other Myths of the American Workplace

By Nadia Ramoutar Reardon
Issue 100, May/June 2000

It was a moment of truth I will never forget. I was with the president of the company I worked for returning from a business trip. We were running through the busy Dallas Airport terminal only to discover our flight had been delayed. Realizing that I would not see my ten-month-old baby for another five hours was enough to create a flood of emotion--and breastmilk. It was during my mad dash to the ladies room that the reality hit: "What am I trying to accomplish here? I must be crazy!" I certainly felt like I was.

Like most overachieving employed mothers, my life had turned into a bad episode of "Career Mom Meets Nature in a Head-on Collision." Personally, it was yet another life lesson that my master's degree had ill prepared me for. Over the next few months, I discovered the inflexibility of the American workplace: Choose your career or choose time with your baby. I was not alone in facing this conundrum.

Becoming a mother is a life-enhancing experience that leads to greater creativity, sensitivity, and compassion. This is, however, a transition that is not always appreciated by those with a vested interest in "business as usual." Despite the informational and technological breakthroughs in the workplace, many women are struggling with the conflict of being a natural mother in an unnatural world of work. It can feel like a covert operation of a corporate conspiracy that aims to keep women dazed and disappointed--but still seated at their desks. Part of the difficulty is that today's workplace is still structured to meet the needs of the full-time 1950s male or his single, subservient female colleague. The demographics of the workplace and its rules of operation are, in a word, incongruent.

The numbers speak for themselves: In 1960, only 13 percent of mothers with preschool-age children were employed. In 1998, that number had risen to 63 percent--a 50 percent increase. After years of work experience and, often, years of education, many women resent being forced to choose between child and career. Where is the compassion in the American workplace? Where is the appreciation for the employee?

Family Friendly? The US Lags Behind
From the very start of their child's life, parents in the US are placed at a disadvantage compared to their global counterparts. The International Labor Organization (ILO) reports that 120 countries offer their workers paid maternity leave; our nation's Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) only requires a maximum of 12 weeks unpaid leave following the birth or adoption of a child. US workers are, in short, completely dependent on the kindness of their employer. USA Today reported in September 1999 that only 2 percent of American companies provide paid maternity leave to their employees. This means 98 percent of parents are financially on their own. By contrast, Canadian women earn 25 weeks paid maternity leave. And while our Mexican sisters receive the same 12-week maternity leave we do, it is paid. British mothers get the benefit of 18 weeks paid leave; Japanese moms, 14 weeks.

The National Partnership's Work and Family Program, an advocate for workplace fairness and flexibility, launched in June 1999 the Campaign for Family Leave Income. This initiative followed a survey that showed a 79 percent support for paid family leave (740 women and 375 men were surveyed, with approval ratings of 82 percent and 75 percent respectively). It's worthwhile to note that paid family leave was supported by 81 percent of people without children surveyed.

The emotional difficulty that commonly accompanies the end of maternity leave is often the first indication there's trouble ahead. "You'll be amazed at how long you can spend just staring at your baby. Those few weeks of maternity leave just fly by, and it is very hard to get back to work," explains Dianne Tymeson, a St. Augustine, Florida-based licensed social worker and family therapist. "Sleep deprivation and fluctuating hormones are little help as you return to your former workload."

Trying to breastfeed while working full-time can also be a frustrating and challenging experience. Due to the lack of a designated lactation area, breastfeeding mothers often have to pump in the impersonal (at best) women's bathroom. Privacy for nursing mothers is currently under legislative review.

With corporate lactation programs being the exception rather than the rule, not enough workplaces provide a nursery so mothers can visit their baby and breastfeed during lunch and other breaks. When my son was little, my mother would bring him to my office, and I nursed behind a closed door with shades drawn. I was fortunate to have the privilege of a private office--particularly when one considers that most of the lower-paying jobs in the workforce are occupied by women.