Cleaning Up

It can be very frustrating to expect children to clean up, and they don't seem to care or want to help in any way. It may even trigger our anger buttons because we feel as if we are doing all the work and that they will grow up expecting us to wait on them hand and foot. However, it's important to keep expectations in line with their age and development. At three years of age, he is easily distracted and has no interest in cleaning up. This is normal and appropriate for his development. Three-year-olds live in the here and now and are very egocentric; their needs matter more than yours. That being said, you can encourage him to help clean up by making it fun and simple. Turning clean-up into a game by setting a timer or by putting on music, and seeing who can clean up the blocks the fastest by putting them in a bucket is something he might be able to manage. Just give him one type of item to pick up and even if he only picks up several items and wanders away, you are planting the seed for doing chores down the road. Praise his efforts even though you will have to do the rest. By age five or six, children can learn to sort, and then you can give him the task of sorting blocks from cars and then putting them into the right baskets. Make clean-up easy by having several buckets to put the toys into. Pack away 90 percent of the toys and leave 10 percent out, and you will find that the toys are easier to manage. Besides, children find a cluttered play area overwhelming and tend to not play with anything when it looks like a disaster hit the playroom. Teach them to get in the habit of putting several toy types away before bringing out more. Also, it helps to promise a snack or something fun after the job is done: "When we pick up these toys, then we can have our snack." Between the ages of six- and eleven-years-old, children still need help and reminding from parents to put things away. By the age of twelve, most children can clean up independently. As with many milestones, chores and clean-up jobs are progressive learning tasks and children love to help if you give them a task that matches their ability, age, and chore preferences. Don't give up. It will pay off later when your teen son builds you a fence!