Do you ever have moments that you just know will be funny in another 10 years? I do.
Except I didn't really think it was funny the other day. That is because it happened to me. (I hope that that YOU will find some amusement in this.)
I was in the bathroom today. I don't want to get into details but I think I have food poisoning so I took longer than usual. I know- BAD MOM! Going potty all by herself.
The kids had just gotten out of the shower and I was DUMB enough to send the baby on out (15 months old) without her diaper on.
Did I mention that she has learned to climb?
She has. (Totally overrated skill by the way.)
About 30 seconds later the five year old runs back to tell me that,
"The baby pooped on the table!"
They always love this kind of thing. Why do they love this? It isn't in the least bit amusing.
So I pull myself together and head out. Honestly, I don't really WANT to go see what happened. This is the end of a long day (with food poisoning) and my hubby is gone at a meeting and now....there is poop on the table.
So of course I started yelling. Oh wait. I forgot...I am on a natural mom blog. Pardon me. I actually had a heart to heart with my kids about respecting boundaries and cleaning up after themselves (all the while I was thoughtful and gentle and honored their emotions) after which they all agreed that they would never make another mess again.
I'm just kidding. (Not making fun of people who are that awesome. I just am not one of them. I blame my mom.) I actually started yelling. But of course you can't YELL at a baby so I took it out on the other kids. (This is because I am emotionally mature, obviously.)
So that is about how my day went. Food poisoning. Human feces on the dinner table. (She had just had a shower and yes, she stepped in it. When my kids take dumps in inappropriate places they really go for the gold. They are overachievers. Crap honor students.)
Even though my day was filled with lots of smelly stuff, I hope yours wasn't. I wish you a clean dinner table and clean salads (that don't cause food poisoning) and flat stomachs and an even temperament. But whenever you need your dose of mediocrity, be sure to stop by. I am all stocked up here.
(I really don't yell at my kids very often. It was just a bad day.)
This post appeared originally on the Mama Birth Blog (www.mamabirthblog.com) in September 2012.
Sarah Clark is a mother of four children (who rarely get yelled at), a natural childbirth educator, and a teacher trainer for Birth Boot Camp (online and in-person natural birth classes). She is also comfortable sharing publicly her humiliations and defeats as an imperfect mother. Leave comments about how she sucks below.