Body Wise: sex in pregnancy
Pregnancy is unpredictable. You may have an aversion to sex right now; you may notice no change in your sexual desire, or you may feel more passionate than ever before. If your expectations are not the same as those of your partner, it can be an emotional challenge.
Get to the bottom of whatever feelings you have. Are you embarrassed about your increased desire for sex? Do you feel guilty that sex is the last thing in the world you want right now? Do you have preconceived notions about sex during pregnancy? Are you worried that sex could harm your baby?
The pointers below may provide some insight on how to deal with your sex life (or lack thereof) during this time:
- It’s okay to say no. If you’re feeling fatigued or nauseous, explain this to your partner. Make it clear that it is not your partner’s fault, but share your changing feelings and be willing to explore them.
- Consider devoting extra time and attention to pleasuring your partner in other ways. Try cuddling or sitting on the couch and holding hands.
- Explore the world of sensuality that is not related to sex. Try massage, light lovely candles, or create a feast of exotic foods.
- If your changing body has made you feel less desirable, or if you’ve become self-conscious about the weight you’ve gained, find ways to feel sexier—a new nightgown or a pedicure can make all the difference. Explore new sexual positions. You may find that a change is in order. In future months your expanding tummy will make this necessary, anyway. If you need some creative ideas, consider buying a good, illustrated guide. If it feels like your sex drive is out of control, talk to your partner to find out how he or she feels about it.