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Mothering › Health Articles › Got boundaries? Got class?

Got boundaries? Got class?


 


e·qua·nim·i·ty

–noun

mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.


Origin: aequ, even, plain, equal + anim, mind, spirit, feelings

Synonyms: serenity, self-possession, aplomb.

Antonyms: panic, disquiet, discomposure, agitation.

GOT BOUNDARIES?
Self respect. Not suffering fools. Not throwing pearls before swine. Being seen, heard, felt. Speaking up for yourself. Original Voice.

Radical self care. Authenticity. Self-soothing. Practice. Ritual. Honouring your needs so you can honour other’s. Self referencing. Proudly particular.


All great concepts. Essential to wholeness. Critical for self expression, creativity, and dignity. Doorways to consciousness.


And…potential love-blockers.


YOU KNOW THE TYPE: They’ve worked so hard to get this far that the world just isn’t good enough. They have their issues in check. They have special food requests. They’re rather sensitive. You have to make special trips for them. When they talk last in meetings, it’s likely to run overtime. They’ve crafted a system of hard-won self-help philosophies that seemingly entitles them to accommodations wherever they go. They’re really annoying.


But wait. Back to me, me, moi….


I’ve spent so many hours in psychotherapy, and retreats, and boardrooms clarifying my “needs” vs. “wants” vs. “the hungry ghost” vs. “healthy expectations” that when I “surrender” to someone else’s “way” it can feel like a stick in my spokes of dignity (and I paid a lot for that dignity.) Such is the foible of Western spirituality. Me first, You next.


But at this point, I’m tender and tough enough to know what love is and isn’t. And…


Sometimes, the most enlightened, classy, and loving thing you can do is shut up and put up.


You eat the meat they serve even tho’ you’re a vegetarian.

You take the tacky gift; you find the common ground in your opposing politics; you smile, darling. And here’s the thing: you mean it when you do it.

You suspend being right, or more evolved, or protected, and you intend loving equanimity – because you can.


You accept and flex because it expands you – and that’s only good.

You soften because it feels really amazing for everyone involved – guaranteed.

You say thank you because elegance makes the world a better place.


When you become the conduit for graciousness you get stronger, truer, freer and more fiercely alive.


Which is the whole reason we create boundaries in the first place.


. . . . . . .

 




Danielle LaPorte

About Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte is the author of the book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (from Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the creator of the online program The Spark Kit: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs and co-author of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice on DanielleLaPorte.com, a site that has been deemed "the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality."

You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter @daniellelaporte



Comments (3)

Excuse me? Eat meat that is served to me even though I am a vegetarian? Are you for real? I am ethically and morally, not to even speak of religiously, opposed to eating meat. As are millions of others. We should eat meat so that what did you call it, to achieve equanimity? I'd rather go hungry and not visit someone who is so disrespectful, thank you!
I really like sushi and learn in order to made a sushi roll is an excellent idea beacuse I can save money. Besides sushi can be put into a diet beacuse can be quite healthy and delicous.
I will definitely forward this to my dad we were just talking about this the other day!
Mothering › Health Articles › Got boundaries? Got class?