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My Son's Birth.

Kristen TeaAdinaL
By: Kristen Tea and AdinaL
Posted 02/11/11 • Last updated 02/25/13 • 127 views • 25 comments

I am a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth diapering, organic-food-only-serving, lactivist, intactivist, attachment parenting, natural-living mother & I didn’t give birth at home, with a midwife, at a free-standing birthing center, or even without the use of medication.


I am very grateful for my birth experience & challenged by it as well.  My son was born healthy, vaginally.  I have dear friends who had traumatic birth experiences & I’ve read about birth rape, but I still stall over my memories of my birth experience.  Of course I have never wanted to make the wrong choice in motherhood nor do I wish to linger on regret but the actuality is bittersweet.


My son & I are statistically at a disadvantage because of my low-income, single parent status so I did my best to prepare for his arrival.  I read The Attachment Connection during pregnancy, which focuses on the science behind attachment theory, as well as several other natural parenting books.  But I didn’t read any books specifically geared toward birth.


I had read Ina May Gaskin’s Spiritual Midwifery long before I had my baby; I picked it up at the natural foods co-op I was working at & it totally blew my mind.  The concept of birth had been forever altered just in her mention of homebirthing & describing contractions as “surges.”  I took a Lamaze class that was interesting but less than transformational, I read portions of Birthing From Within & I did some childbirth education classes with my doula.  I can say now, in hindsight, that I did not prepare enough.  I’m not suggesting that every woman needs a thorough course in natural birthing before she will be able to have one, but I feel like I know what was missing in my experience.


There was a lot missing from my experience, actually, & I try not to wonder too often how much that played into me choosing a medicated birth in the end.  I had an emotionally excruciating pregnancy.  I will spare the sordid details for now, but I spent 10 months stuck in the bargaining stage of grief with my son’s biological father while I basically watched him lose his mind & spin madly into oblivion. I wasted a lot of energy.  I was in a negative place.  I hadn’t slept the night before I went into labor because I was on the phone arguing with my son’s dad, trying to convince him to stop drinking for the next few days in case I went into labor.  Every laboring woman should know to sleep, sleep, sleep while you can!  I was about to try to sleep around 2am Tuesday morning but I was too high on the reality of labor once I realized it was happening.  I waited until the sun was up to call people & I labored at home all through Tuesday entirely until about 3am Wednesday morning before I went to the hospital.


I had chosen a hospital because I lived in a bad apartment that I had no desire to give birth in & also because I had been diagnosed with Group B Strep & I didn’t learn about natural treatments until recently (another reason self-educationg is imperative).  I thought that with all I had read, I would be able to birth bravely & safely in a hospital setting.  I was absolutely determined to have a drug-free birth & I wrote a detailed birth plan with those desires highlighted, as well as stern words not to remove my son from my sight after he was born & that all “tests” be delayed for a few hours & done bedside when necessary.  I strongly advocate for all birthing women to write such a birth plan.


I can say that laboring in a hospital feels distinctly wrong to me.  It is lonely, not warm.  It is so bizarre to have strangers surrounding you at this most intimate time.  & Even though I asked to be alone, I had a flurry of nurses coming in & out, some of them refusing to keep quiet during contractions.  I abandoned the thought of a waterbirth to concentrate on contractions almost immediately after a nurse ran a bath for me that for some terrible reason was cold.  I have no idea what she was doing.  A cold bath for a laboring woman might be the worst idea in the world, at least for me.  My body is tensing up just thinking about it.  My son’s dad sat in a chair.  He wasn’t a source of comfort, of course, but he was there & wasn’t a disruption which is more than I had hoped for.  I was stuck on the idea that if he witnessed his son being born, he might change. I was wrong; he stayed around for 5 days postpartum before opting out for good.


I was doing a good job managing each contraction; I wasn’t afraid to make noises & I was happily moving & working to make pleasant sounds.  I wanted to sound more like I was having an orgasm, less like I was in pain & that thought helped me a lot.  I was pacing, swaying, moaning, & rocking on a balance ball.  I am glad to know that I have the ability to make it so far into labor naturally.


The exhaustion was the most intense thing I have ever experienced. My labor in total was around 4o hours, & since I didn’t sleep the night before I went into labor, I hadn’t slept in days.  After 30-some hours, I was still at 3cm.  The pain was so wild that I was stunned I hadn’t progressed further.  The fear crept in as I realized the longer I labored in this hospital setting, the closer I came to interventions.  I didn’t want my birth to be turned into a battle.  Nurses were coming in & out; one of them swung my tray table out of the way so quickly that the birth sculpture my mom had bought me flew to the floor & shattered. I couldn’t muster the strength to even look at it.


Mainstream hospitals illuminate the fact that our culture has lost faith in women as birthing animals. I lost faith in myself as a birthing animal.  I forgot to pray.  I forgot to meditate on the thought of all the women giving birth before me & with me in time.  The exhaustion & the fear overpowered me.  I asked a nurse what I could do to help my labor progress & the first word out of her mouth was “pitocin.”  I was focusing so completely on making it through every staggering contraction that when the nurse suggested pitocin, it was like a ghost threw a door open that then wouldn’t close. She confirmed my fear that they would start talking about other interventions if I didn’t start to progress faster & with a heavy heart, I opted for both pitocin & an epidural.


I try to be thankful for my choice.  I cannot recommend medication during labor, but I was fortunate in my situation.  I have no way of knowing where my son’s birth was headed, but it honestly didn’t look good, at least for a hospital setting.  I do wonder what it would have been like at home. Would I have been more relaxed, more open?  Would my labor have progressed quicker?  Would I have panicked at home if my labor was so long?  I know that hospitals are good for emergencies, but birth doesn’t have to be an emergency.  I found it infuriating that women who give birth in hospitals aren’t allowed to take their placentas with them.  It feels so strange that a beneficial part of my body should be claimed by someone else & that I, by law, cannot take it & use it the way my body intended.  But it comes with the territory.


I felt so sick & disappointed in myself as I sat there & got the needles in my back (& now having read more about epidurals, I still feel deeply sickened sometimes) but I was able to sleep for the first time in almost 60 hours.  I slept for a couple hours & when I woke, I was at 9cm.  The most blessed part is that when I woke up, I could feel again. I could use my legs, I could feel each surge, I could feel my baby moving down.  An incredibly irritating part of my hospital experience is that the nurse kept telling me when to push, but she was wrong.  I had no urge at the moments of her commands; luckily my doula was in my other ear telling me to push when I needed to.  The feeling of turning from a self-conscious girl in pain into an animal woman, instinctively using my contractions to ease my baby into the world was tremendous.


I think that is the most important point that the public should know about natural birth.  It isn’t about proving how natural you are, or even how strong you are.  It is being aware of the “cascade of interventions.” It’s recognizing that taking medication to speed up labor can cause such pain that then more medication is desired, which can cause such numbness that further interventions could be needed, which endangers both the baby & the mother’s life at each turn.  In my case medication didn’t cause further interventions & I can see that it might have actually prevented them, but that was nothing but a giant blessing of luck.  I am still an enthusiastic advocate for natural birth & I hope to have a homebirth next time.


Next time I will have a better partner.  I hold my partnership to completely different standards now that my son is here.  Next time I will employ Hypnobabies; I have heard amazing success stories about hypnobirthing & I instinctively feel that it may have helped me get through my wall of exhaustion & that it will help me give birth naturally next time.  Next time I will watch a lot of birth videos.  I didn’t have a computer before my son was born & since then have watched some incredible homebirth videos.  It is good to read about homebirth but it is extraordinary to see it happening.  Next time I will have a peaceful pregnancy, God willing, & I will not forget to be the birthing animal that I am.  The many hours that I labored were extraordinary & I do feel proud that I handled the majority of it naturally.  The moment of my son’s birth was beautiful, life-changing, & a glorious success overall; no amount of what-ifs or would-haves can ever change that.


What was your favorite birthing tool, Dear Reader?  What is the most enlightening birth book, in your opinion?  What helped you through your labor & what was your biggest challenge?  What will you do differently next time? I have no idea what the maximum amount of allowed characters is, but please feel free to leave your birth story in the comments.  Much love to you & yours.


birth2



Kristen Tea

About Kristen Tea

I am a 27-year-old single, attached, informed, lactivist, intactivist, peaceful Minnesotan mother of almost 4-year-old Sun Ronin a.k.a Sunny Boy. I am an artist & lover of expression. I'm also a student with many things to learn, including nutritional therapy, lactation consulting, doulahood, yoga instructing, & more. I believe that unplanned pregnancies do not have to equal uninformed motherhood, & women have the power to restore humanity to everything we touch.

 


Posted by: Kristen Tea
Last revised by: Kristen Tea on October 26, 2011.

Comments (25)

amy 2/11/11 at 1:25pm
Thank you so much, Kristen, for sharing your birth story. I had both-a birth for which I did practically no preparation, was induced, had an epidural and still delivered vaginally (pretty miraculous given the circumstances) and a birth, although still in a hospital, but prepared and ready for natural birth with birth plan and post-partum plan in hand, a full, warm birthing tub and a doula and partner as committed to the process as I was. Although my first birth was in a hospital still entrenched in old fashioned maternity care (the nurses were mightily upset that I kept my son in the room for an hour after birth for skin-to-skin and nursing rather than send him directly to the nursery) the hospital I chose for my daughter's birth has a reputation for patient respect and natural birthing. I refused all interventions, including a hep-lock, and although this did give one nurse pause for concern, once I signed the informed consent it was no longer mentioned. I asked for very little monitoring and was allowed to birth however I chose. It was amazing and although it was painful it was a thrill to feel my body work in that way. Once my daughter was born we refused much of the infant care (as I recall she did not go to the nursery-we washed her much later ourselves, in our room). A lovely natural birth in a hospital is possible! I agree with you whole heartedly-it is all about educating yourself. If you read everything out there and decide a medicated birth is for you, that is absolutely your call. I do feel that although both of my births were precious as they gifted me with my amazing children, the choices (or lack of) from my first birth contributed to my troubles nursing my son, which led to my failure to nurse beyond four month. I do believe this ultimatelty led to my son's food allergies. After my daughter's unmedicated birth, I am still going strong nursing her at eighteen months and hope to continue for as long as she likes. I do hope for you that your next birth will be as you wish it to be with a partner you supports and adores you. And although you had mountainous challenges during his gestation and birth, look at your beautiful, precious son and know you did a good job bringing him into this world. What an amazing mama!
Kristen Tea 2/12/11 at 12:42am
Thanks so much for sharing, Amy, & for your encouragement as well! & I agree with you; the effects of choosing or needing a medicated birth can be far-reaching. Even though we are still nursing 33 months later, my son & I had a tough time with a very painful latch in the beginning. I have no way of knowing if that's because of groggyness from the epidural, but I feel like we could have been on the edge of complications spiralling out of control. It will be a while, but I am looking forward to having a different birth experience like you did!
Jaimie @ Two Chicks and a Hen 2/14/11 at 9:04am
My favorite birthing tool was hot water in the shower, hands down. I want to say I can't believe a nurse poured you a cold bath, but I can believe it because the main nurse assigned to me for the birth of my second daughter was absolutely clueless. As far as birthing books, I absolutely loved Birthing from Within. It was so wonderful. I also wanted to mention that I'm a fellow single mom blogger :). My personal blog is linked through this comment, and I'm also a regular contributor at Simple Kids (on the subject of single parenting.) I'm always excited to find more single mom bloggers.
Sheepdoc 2/14/11 at 9:30am
My favorite prep book is Peggy Vincent's _Diary of A Baby Catcher_.
irishrose81 2/14/11 at 9:35am
Thank you for your story. I have also felt that I went blindly through my oldest son's birth and for a long time after, thought it was a good experience. Only when I rekindled a relationship with my sister, who had homebirth, a midwife, and a natural parenting outlook, did I realize how much my son being born was for the convenince of the doctor, nurses and hospital and not at all about what I wanted for my son or my birth experience. I was told I could labor the way I was at home and that I needed to be put on Pitocin or they were going to release me. Looking back I wish I would have let them send me home. After the pitocin that was cranked up and a contraction lasting an hour and a half without a break, I opted for the epidural. I was then given a significant episiotomy which I was not consulted on beforehand and had a long road to recovery. My son was not handed to me for more than an hour after he was born. With my second son, I knew I didn't want the drugs, the cutting or the interference. I was still not "going" fast enough for the doctor timeline, even though he was a wonderful doctor, he had to leave for his son's wedding. I didn't want a different doctor, so I let him break my water. Labor instantly was way more intense and my fear of the pain becoming too unbearable lead me to the epidural request. It hadn't kicked in by the time I was pushing so I got it for nothing anyway. My son was immediately put on my stomach for me to gaze at for as long as I wanted and I heard the nurse say she wasn't going to interrupt me since she had heard about my first experience. I still had the monitors and the nurses bothering me while laboring the whole time and there was little comfort or warmth. Birthing tub was out of the question, they just didn't do that there, but I wasn't pushed to bottlefeed or give the Vitamin K shot or the ointment in the eyes. They didn't remove him from my room without my consent and overall I feel I made progress from my first baby. Maybe the next one will work out to be a homebirth and I can finally birth the way I want to. :)
kindacrunchymama 2/14/11 at 9:36am
Ina May Gaskin's "Guide To Childbirth"
szuletik 2/14/11 at 10:00am
Kristen, This is a moving and emotional account, and it will be so helpful for soon-to-be new moms and single moms... I am a divorced mom of 4, and the last birth, my then-husband was not at (and the baby was over 11 lbs, delivered at a birth center without meds. I honor your feelings about your birth. I also know, after 3 birth center births, and one hospital, all while rather stressfully-married, that sometimes you cannot control every aspect of your life, even though you might want to, or you might think you ought to be able to, or that it is "best" or fair. My first birth was also 40 hours long, very slow to progress, and so exhausting... unlike you, I was in a midwifery birth center and I had a great deal of support behind my birth process and choices. However, even there, they were just about ready to transfer me, and in truth, I might have been ready to go. Ultimately, the birth finally happened (2 hours of pushing) and God bless the midwives for helping me breastfeed successfully 7 years (tandem and not). But that first birth left me with a broken tailbone (broken again 2X later... never has really healed) and traumatized emotionally. Stubborn to the core, I did my second birth also at this birth center, which might be ideal and wonderful for the majority of women, but in my case I nearly bled out enough to spend the night at the hospital (10 lb daughter) and was exhausted many weeks following her birth. In all births, my babies were very large and my cords were wrapped rather snuggly around them. At least 2 passed meconium. Only during my 3rd birth (at hospital) did I get meds- a spinal at complete dilation (I demanded it- I was in agony and unable to push- although my then-husband wept b/c he felt I had "failed"). The spinal was short-lived and a small piece of heaven for me- and made that vaginal delivery possible. Not all the nurses were great at the hospital, but some were angels, just as some were the same way at the birth center (and others, not). For me, the hospital met my needs for physical support a little better, especially after the birth when I needed some real time to recuperate. Although I still go to my midwives for my yearly care, and I love them dearly, the hospital was OK for me for birthing. For me, birth was never commune-perfect, give-birth-in-a-van perfect, give-birth-in-the-tub-with-your-toddler-and -grandparents-nearby perfect-- I was a naked, intermittently howling, intensely focused yet vociferous force of nature sometimes somewhat close to danger. And I pretty much knew what I needed when I needed it, including pain meds. My babies: 9lbs 10oz, 10lb, 10lbs6oz, and 11lbs3oz... all big, all healthy (by second apgar), all hard to birth (I'm normal weight- no gestational diabetes). The last one, birthed naturally at the birthcenter, was for me as close to the next world as I have ever come (and ever hope to come, until the end). The only thing that brought me back was the thought of my children needing a mom. I gave birth to him on my tippy-toes, legs straight, bent over a bed at the waist, praying I could finish the job before I passed out, praying there was a midwife ready beneath me to catch him (there was). YOU ARE AWESOME. No matter your birth experience, you are the most important human being alive on this planet for your baby. You carried and nurtured him for 9 months and you brought him into this world safely, however that was accomplished. Be kind to yourself when you think back on your experience. Orgasmic for some perhaps, and "almost nothing" for others (how jealous I am!)... women the world over know that birth is a sacred initiation through pain into new life. It is not for the timid, it isn't always easy. The choices you make, once that little child is in your tummy, are no longer for you alone but for your child. Be proud of your sacrifice and your experience. I wish you all the best of everything in life for you and your son! -Steph
szuletik 2/14/11 at 10:01am
"was not at the birth" I meant to say there in the beginning. Peace, Steph
liss 2/14/11 at 10:57am
My fave birthing tool .. being able to choose where I gave birth and the position i did it in. Thank you so much for sharing your story .. brings back vivid memories of a most likely under the influence partner driving me to hosp where i found out i was in early labour, given a sleeping pill and sent home to labour on my own while the partner slept of the alcohol.. talking and crying to the cats about what have i done bringing a baby into this world .. she was 4 weeks early and ended up in special care .. I had a total 12hr labour with her in the posterior position and me completely disconnected from the birth by pethidine... My NEXT birth just like you i thought i would make different .. I still remember it fondly and would do it all again .. homebirth with 2 midwives a trainee midwife and the same partner on a rainy winter day.. im so proud of myself for that birth .. i did end up in hospital with a 4th degree tear after tho.. i didnt count on that .. and I was bummed out to realise my PPD came on thicker and faster this time .. The best thing I have ever done is leave their dad and raise them single-handedly. I am a childbirth educator and aspiring midwife who is PASSIONATE about birth and optimal fetal positioning. Do not underestimate the effect the r/ship with your childs father had on this labour and birth. know that your next birth you are more educated and can make better choices. When you know better, you do better :D
jessica 2/14/11 at 11:51am
Beautiful story. My first birth was very similar. My second birth was a pitocin induced (PROM and GBS+) hospital birth with no pain meds - I used hypnobabies. My third birth was completely med free. Babe was born 2 hours after arriving at the hospital. Hypnobabies has been invaluable for me. I only used the relaxation part with my second. It was a comfortable birth, but it was fairly long. I used the labor tracks with my third and I attribute my quick and comfortable labor to that.
Lorette Lavine 2/14/11 at 12:18pm
Kristen, I have read your birth story and really wish I could have been your L&D nurse. What an unfortunate set of events...your birth was one of those with a very long prodromal labor which is extremely exhausting and emotionally draining on a mom. I have seen a lot of births and believe me they are really all unique in their own ways. As much as I believe in moms being educated and having a birth plan...I really believe in the birth plan being written in pencil as it is something that should be flexible. If not, moms seem to be setting themselves up for disappointment in their performance. Although birth is a natural occurring event we are all individuals and our physical response in labor cannot be that easily predicted. It sounds like you made some good choices to opt for pain relief and fortunately you were able to get some rest...many times when a laboring woman finally relaxes she dilates and that seems to be what happened in your case. The fact that you did not have a supportive significant other makes your situation very difficult. Sharing pregnancy and birth with another caring person is the ideal and can give you such an added support during labor and delivery. Under the circumstances that you found yourself, I think you did a great job. Interventions used judicially during labor and delivery combined with a kind and supportive labor and delivery staff can make a birth experience a pleasant and memorable one. I am sorry that you did not have the support that you deserved to have...I hope that you have a better experience the next time. I hope that you find professionals that you can feel confident with and who are able to answer your questions and whom you can trust and relax.
Rene 2/14/11 at 2:43pm
Kristen You are a strong woman and have a beautiful son. Rejoice with him and let what was Not to be... go. My own birth was very much like yours, that is when I was born myself. It was not a fun experience for my mother, and I think she held onto this and it hurt our relationship. My suggestion is to Bless the man who for whatever reason helped this child come into your arms, bless him and send him away in spirit. Thank him and thank the Drs and hospital that did bring forth this baby. Next time it WILL be different! Let the next time come slowly, give yourself time to settle this fully. I have two children both born at home with a midwife. Like you, I was worried whether my husband would be sober enough when I went into labor. He was, but it was a HUGE concern, so I know how this feels. My births were beautiful and there was nothing I would change. First birth: Water broke at 6 am, went to a midwife appointment, ran some errands, spent the day walking around in the garden watering plants. Took a nap in the afternoon, mild contractions all day. Then, to clean up I took a warm shower at 6 pm and hard labor started! Bam! Midwife got there at 7:00 and I was not dilated past 1 cm. Went and sat on toilet with my husband close by and I dilated to 10 cm within an hour. Then everything stopped and I just wanted to SLEEP. I was really, really sleepy. Finally about an hour later pushing started. I could not figure it out, seemed like I was trying to get a kid out of my ears. Did not know how to push. After four hours of labor, my little girl was born at 10 pm, 9.7 lbs. Second birth: Great Pregnancy, but there were months of questions about a virus (Parvo) that I had that might hurt the child during the pregnancy. I had to do a lot of research and educate a group of doctors about the current info about that virus. Information changes, and at that time it was changing rapidly. I had to stand up for the interventions or lack of them that would take place during the pregnancy and how we were going to test for issues. Not all medical tests are reliable, and often different labs have differnet baselines. I had to be strong, educate myself and others and listen to the Lord also. I had HMO doctors and a midwife giving me care at the same time, and seeing totally different pictures, framed by their perspective of health. In the 8th month, I got the green light that everything was fine and the child did not have Parvo. So, I got to have my intended home birth! Labor started in the middle on the night, water broke again. 1 am this time. This was a bit scary because my husband drank at night, but he held it together. We called the midwife at 2 am. Labor went faster,... I was already pushing when the midwife arrived and the baby was born a few minutes later. Pushing felt really, really good. My seven year old daughter was present. When she saw the baby's eyes as his head came out, she said "Its a boy! I can tell by the eyes!" Born 4 am. He was 8 lbs, 10 oz. I bless you to accept the past, and be totally engrossed in the smell and growth of the little one entrusted to you. Children come in many different ways. I think the most important thing for me from my birth experences is to realize the possibilities of the medical cascade, do what you can in the situation and constantly pray. I think we are given these births so that later, we might be advocates for a loved one in another medical situation. Powerless is not fun, whether it is kidney disease or birth. We need to be there to help people make choices when they can, and we need to understand that every choice may carry likely consequences. We have the right to ask questions and see if there are options. Example: my first birth I was losing some blood after the birth, more than they liked. They were talking about giving me pitocin, and I asked the midwives "How big of an emergency is this? Do we have time to do something else?" They could allow me some time, so we did nipple stimulation which brought the uterus into contraction and stopped the bleeding. Just asking and knowing that there were options, and being willing to 'do it myself.' By the way, I finally figured out there were options to putting up with the concerns about my husbands drinking. He still drinks, but it is no longer my issue...and I married a second time, but made a better choice.
Jennifer 2/15/11 at 2:22am
Thanks for sharing, it is a great story of success through many trials. I have 3 sons, currently ages 1, 2, and 3. Yes I am a very busy Mommy. My mom and I have been working together as homebirth midwives for over 10 years. With my first son I obviously planned a homebirth, but despite everything I did to follow all the healthy pregnancy rules... my water broke just before I was 36 weeks which forced me to go to the hospital due to the laws in my state. I ended up with a terrible jerk for a doctor, but I had a wonderful nurse. I had great support from my husband and mother. I did end up with pitocin after 12 hours of broken waters with no signs of labor. I had a very intense, very fast labor once it started. From the first painful contraction, my son was born less than 2 1/2 hours later. It was definately the hardest thing I had every done, if it had not been so fast I would have gotten the epidural. I believe that God blessed me with the fast labor and answered my fervent prayers for a natrual birth. Even though it was not the homebirth I had dreamed about, I had a sweet baby boy and no complications. I believe that if you go to a hospital either by choice or not by choice... and you end up with a vaginal birth and a healthy baby that you are blessed! My percieved failure was in breastfeeding my first son. He ended up in the NICU for a week with severe jaundice with biliruben over 26. This was terrible for establishing my milk supply. And we found out later that my son was tounge tied wich no one caught even with all of his latch problems from the beginning. I had a very low milk supply even after taking every herb known to increase milk, and drinking a gallon of water a day, and eating every food I was supposed to eat. AND on top of all that, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery when he was 6 weeks old. So through all that I fought to breastfeed my son to no avail. His first month he gained less than a pound and was still wearing preemie size clothes. And at 2 months old he lost 1/2 a pound, I broke down and cried because I was a failure as a mother. I finally gave in and began to supplement, he started gaining immediately. By 3 months old he would no long latch and even refused breastmilk in the bottle. He prefered the formula which broke my heart. As a midwife I had heard many stories of people who claimed they could not breastfeed for whatever reason, but I always thought in the back of my head they just didn't try everything, or gave up too easy. I learned through my experience that sometimes things are out of your hands no matter what you try. God definately had a plan though, because in the process of drying up my milk and never having a period, I got pregnant with my second son. My second son was born 12 months and 2 days after my first. I had weeks of preterm labor after having braxton hicks contractions from 16 weeks pregnat on through my pregnancy. I was blessed to have a wonderful sweet homebirth the day I turned 36 weeks. Once again I had a great support team. This labor was very fast as well, but natrual labor is much easier to work with. I dilated to 8 cm with little discomfort, and when true active labor began it was transition. This only lasted about an hour and my sweet 8lb little boy was born into my arms. I also had a challenge with breastfeeding this little guy. He also was in the NICU with jaundice for a week, but I was perpared and pumped a lot on top of feeding him often. My milk supply started out great and he had a great latch. I nursed him successfully until 3 months when we had a very traumatic family situation and the stress zapped my milk supply. I was forced to put him on formula, and was agian convinced that I was a failure in the area of breastfeeding. I just thought I was one of the 5% of women who could not produce enough milk. My third pregnancy was surprise like my second... what can I say, birthcontrol is not really my friend! :-) My third pregnancy was a very challenging one. I was on progesterone injections to get me to a term pregnancy, and still struggled with preterm labor through out the second half of the pregnancy. I even ended up in the hospital on mag sulfate overnight to stop contractions at 31 weeks. Stayed on strick bedrest after that and finally ended up making it to 38 weeks! I had an amazing, wonderful homebirth, but it was my longest labor yet... over 5 hours. Very intense. But I had a 9lb precious little boy. We had no jaundice issues this time, guess those extra 2 weeks helped his liver get mature enough to handle the biliruben breakdown. I also succeeded in nursing this sweet little boy for over 9 months until he weaned himself. He was too busy chasing his brothers around, he didn't have time to sit still and nurse anymore. It broke my heart, but I was thankful that I got 9 months in. I ended up taking all the milk herbs and also taking a medication called domperidone, the max dose, to nurse him, but it was so worth it. I loved every minute of it. I believe that loving, nurturing parenting is the most important thing when it comes to children. Your birth experience and nursing experience help them, but mostly I believe those things are more empowering us as mothers. I have come to the conclusion that birth and nursing are such a short time in a childs life, that if you spend quality time loving and training your children in the way they should go, when they are grown, they will love and appriciate you and all you have done.
amanda c 2/15/11 at 10:13am
"Your Best Birth" by Rikki Lake (and the movie "Business of Being Born"). I'm SO grateful I found these around week 28!
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:37am
Thanks for the hot water tip! I have heard how good that is & I will employ it next time. I also can't believe that the nurse ran me a cold bath-- how crazy is that?! & Thank you so much for sharing your blog; I love it!
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:38am
Thanks Lori; I will check it out!
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:40am
Thank you for sharing your story! Your second experience is so similar to mine & your hopes for your next are too! At least it gives us a balanced view :)
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:43am
Thanks CH! I actually never read that one, just "Spiritual Midwifery." Next time!
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:48am
Thank you Steph! & WOW! Your stories are amazing. I really admire that you had pain medication once & had a natural birth after that. I imagine it takes incredible mental power; I know the agony you speak of! I appreciate your readership & your encouraging words so much.
Kristen Tea 3/1/11 at 8:52am
Liss, I love your stories. I know that heartache & the honest feeling of "what have I done?" I can easily say the best decision I've made for my son was not spending any more energy on his father & I am glad you feel the same about your choice! Thank you so much for your input & encouragement.
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