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People’s Reactions When I Tell Them I’m Pregnant

boy_looking_surprisedAbout five seconds after we conceived this time, I looked like I was five months along, but we felt shy about telling people we were pregnant until I was almost at the end of my fourth month.

“Was it a surprise?” The principal at my daughter’s school asked.

“Were you planning it?” another mom wanted to know.

“Were you so shocked?!” said a third parent. “Wasn’t it an accident?!”

“My husband and I were joking that you must be turning into Mormons,” another friend said.

“We were wondering if you are becoming religious,” was yet another comment.

I was a little nervous about telling people we were expecting but I didn’t anticipate these reactions. People can get very weird when you’re having a fourth child (or even a third… or a second).

I wrote my friend Holly, who has four children, and told her my feelings were hurt that everyone I knew seemed so surprised and judgmental that we—gulp—actually were wanting and trying for another baby.

Holly’s husband is a stand-up comedian. Her firstborn is in college and she has a baby in diapers. Holly always knows what to do.

“Next time someone says, ‘was this pregnancy planned?!’ tell them, ‘goodness no. I have no idea how it happened! Can you explain it to me?’” Holly suggested.

If you’re having a similar experience telling people you are pregnant, try it. It works every time.CIAPenisScam

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Tags: pregnancy, telling people you are pregnant


Comments (8)

I have to say that I've fallen prey to these thoughts--but blog entries like this one (though not on this exact issue--a fourth child) have taught me to keep my mouth shut when questions regarding reproduction crop up. As a mother of three, who always thought she'd have four but couldn't quite get there--I can say that my lowest moment was at a school picnic when my youngest was two. An acquaintance came up to me and framed my belly--which I consider rather modest--with her hands and said, "Ahh! You're having a fourth!" when I wasn't anywhere near being pregnant. This might be slightly more demoralizing that the questions above!
OMG!!! LOL!!! I hope to use that line some day when we are trying for our fourth in New York City!! I only have one right now, but I came from a family of four and I hope we'll get to that number. I loved growing up in a large family. I just don't understand why people treat it like it's a weird thing to do... And I just don't understand why people feel like they can ask such personal questions... uggh
This is so funny, Jennifer...but isn't it odd how people just kind of insert themselves into others' personal affairs with questions that are really none of their business? Your response is a good one indeed.
Going along with what Meredith says, for some reason when it comes to pregnancy, people feel like they can ask more personal questions then they normally would (and touch your belly without asking!). I remember when I was pregnant with my third child and found out she was a girl (also my third), the reaction often was, "Is your husband disappointed?" No, I thought--and said. I like your friend's suggestion on responding to some of these questions.
I love the stick figure cartoon. I am surprised you get comments like this from casual acquaintances. I would NEVER ask such a personal question in this day and age. Fertility - and lack thereof - is an extremely private matter and you're just asking for trouble to take it lightly.
So funny! But so sad that people suddenly think it is THEIR business what you are doing with your private lives. Maybe you should respond "Yes we are increasing our family. And why did you choose that job you're in? and did your income go up or down last year?"
Oh! Really?! How insensitive. I can't believe people would be so rude, especially people you know! Terrible.
I'm right there with ya! I just had my 4th boy. At least people tried to be polite to you. I had two people laugh in my face and say "sucks for you". People can be jackasses. Anyway, No he wasn't planned. He was a gift. As for this bumpaholics theory, give me a break! Each of my pregnancies has been high risk and required surgery just to keep them in there. Bed rest sucks, and for this last one, I was hospitalizes no less than a dozen times to try to stop contractions. Yeah, that's cause for addiction. Other than those two obnoxious women, who had four or more kids of their own btw, everyone else was just happy. I think we all worry about everything as parents, but a gift is a gift, and I wouldn't trade my bun for all the money in the world.
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