I was awoken at 2am this morning by piercing sirens signalling that a tornado had been spotted in my city’s skies. I was trembling as I hurried to pluck my 2-year-old son from his slumber so we could rush to safety in the gnarly basement of my apartment; I’m sure my pupils were gigantic from the sudden burst of adrenaline. My son, the light sleeper that he is, woke & was scared while I turned in circles trying to grab things to bring with us, finally settling on just the one blanket within reach before bolting out the door.
We huddled in the crumbling basement as I explained to him that there was a storm coming that we were avoiding, which was evidenced by the deafening cracks of thunder exploding in the sky. He asked for water; I didn’t have any. So we nursed. He was so nervous, but also started to get anxious & wanted to run near the windows & explore this dark new territory, so we nursed some more. I thought that even if the tornado found us & we were stuck in the basement for a while, we could still nurse & we would be fine.
The storm passed & we made it through & I was reminded of the tornado that had threatened us just a few days after my son was born. He slept through the whole event, but my terror began the moment I happened to turn on the radio & hear a fervent command to retreat to the basement & lasted a while after the bad weather had moved on. I had never held something so precious before, while being acutely aware that loss was viable. I’d like to think that we have another destiny awaiting, but the looming tornado told of other possibilities. I held my son close & nursed him when he stirred, feeling utterly horrified that our journey could be over so soon. Such a sentiment is the blessed curse that comes along with parenthood. Beyond our duty to create a human that will benefit the World & help it into a more peaceful place, we merely need to keep them alive.
Being at the mercy of violent weather assisted me in realizing the connection I already had with my son & pushed me to research ways to bring him even closer. I continued to study my way into motherhood, fully able to value the existence of my son because of the brief notion that all was not well; I am thankful for each moment that passes us by as we remain healthy & safe.
About Kristen Tea
I am a 27-year-old single, attached, informed, lactivist, intactivist, peaceful Minnesotan mother of almost 4-year-old Sun Ronin a.k.a Sunny Boy. I am an artist & lover of expression. I'm also a student with many things to learn, including nutritional therapy, lactation consulting, doulahood, yoga instructing, & more. I believe that unplanned pregnancies do not have to equal uninformed motherhood, & women have the power to restore humanity to everything we touch.