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The Mother I am Right Now

I have been wondering where I fit in to this Mothering.com bloggesphere. I had been invited based on previously written pieces of work and now here I sit on the precipice of unknowns pondering what part of myself to share. I am sure of myself as a writer but have found myself paying much closer attention to the other posts here and to blogs in general.  What is ‘My Voice’, I wonder? What ‘me’ do I want to share? I am a mother but do I qualify as enough (of an attachment – vegan – baby-wearing – earth-mother) to be here? No. No, you don’t my little voice... read more

Dad is all things to toddler boy - Momma is struggling: read the answer

Our friend, Ron, and his two boys; a great dad! A mother wrote into Mothering.com’s Ask The Expert about her son’s preference for his father. Enjoy this excerpt about supporting the father/son bond. Dear Friend, I am sorry for your sorrow. It is so hard not to take this personally as a mother! I would take comfort from the fact that your son prefers you dad “when you are there,” by which I could infer that you son will accept comfort and company from you when his father is not an option. Almost every son goes through a huge “daddy... read more

The Best List Ever : Vol. 2

It’s time for another serving of assorted appreciation, enduring love and a few hot trends. 100% love, in no particular order: E3 Live Blue Green Algae: this is like jumper cables for your brain. I buy it frozen from my local health food store, I de-thaw half the bottle at a time and use about 3 tablespoons of it in my smoothie. I can feel my brain grin–from ear to ear…ar ar ar — ear to ear, brain, get it…anyway…When I’m on the road or don’t do a smoothie, I pop three or four of the capsules. Green dream. Tom Ford Fragrance: I haven’t ventured out of... read more

An All-American Korean American 4th of July

Thank you to Terra Trevor, author of Pushing up the Sky: A Mother’s Story, for this guest post. An armload of bulgogi covers the grill and a circle of friends surround the barbecue. Everyone has a pair of chopsticks in hand and turn slices of the sizzling beef. A picnic table is laden with platters of pindaettok, mandu, heaping bowls of kimchi, chap chae, and romaine lettuce leaves with red bean sauce for dipping. There is plenty of sliced watermelon of course, and three rice cookers stand ready in a row. There is laughter around the table. After... read more

The Best List Ever : Vol. 1

Here’s a list of fantastic stuff that left an impression on my frontal lobe and softened heart. Otherwise known as: The best of anything and everything. Do your own list: “The Best List Ever, by [insert your name]: Vol. 1. It’ll make you simmer with sweet memories and proof of excellence. Here we go. This is gonna feel goood. MY BEST LIST EVER. 100% adored. In no particular... read more

The L.O.V.E. Parenting Mad-Bag: A Bridge To Inner-Calm

We want to promote kindness and non-violence, but sometimes it is not enough to tell a child to “be nice” or “don’t hit.” Children need an outlet, and they often need a bridge to get from overwhelmed into their centered-self. I will post another L.O.V.E. Parenting technique which contains many in-the-moment alternatives to hitting, biting, pulling, kicking, throwing, and spitting, soon. In the meantime, I want to offer the L.O.V.E. Parenting Mad Bag, which can help a young child transition out of their frustration. The mad-bag honors the child’s... read more

Getting Out the Angries

Issue 97, November/December 1999 By Christine Benevuto Even before he could speak, our son knew when he was angry. Gabriel knew because my husband and I told him. "Ooh, that makes you mad," we would groan with enthusiastic empathy. "That really makes you mad." Then we would stand back and watch an amazing transformation take place before our eyes as a fussing, screeching little person grew quiet, thoughtful, interested. As often as not, we parents were responsible for creating his frustration in the first place: As I recall, diaper and clothes changes became... read more

The Problem With Time Out

The problem with time-out is that it doesn't work. Time-out teaches a child little about her behavior or how to act differently in the future. A time-out is supposed to give a child a chance to collect herself and reflect on her wrong-doings - but such reflection is a lot to expect of a child who is probably too overwhelmed by her own emotions to think clearly about her actions. Rather, the child is apt to focus on her feelings of frustration at not having her needs met, rejection at being sent away when she needed her parents' understanding, and anger at not being... read more

Enlightenment at Three

Growing Down: My Three-year-old Teaches Me About Enlightenment By Maggie SheaWeb Exclusive, June 26, 2006 Nestled in the cave of her bottom bunk, dressed in a purple nightgown, a miniature philosopher attempts to enlighten her mother. At three, she has the cosmos on her mind. Her insights come mainly at night, after I've read her two or three stories. "Can you snuggle up with me?" she says as she curls into me. Her saucer-shaped blue eyes light up with joy then turn serious with fear, her perky mouth following suit, as she tells tales, tries out new theories and gives... read more

We Are All Habiba

Habiba is a Morroccan immigrant mother in Madrid, Spain who sought shelter in the Minor and Family Institute (IMMF) after leaving an abusive family situation. On May 30, 2011, her 15 month old breastfeeding daughter, Alma, was taken from her on the basis that Habiba was providing inadequate, “chaotic,” and harmful care to her. The shelter’s report about Habiba specifically mentioned that she was -offering the breast any time and anywhere (breastfeeding on-cue), and refusing to wean and take medicine to dry up her milk when stipulated to do... read more

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