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interpreter for the knee-high crowd

This just in from the college student (a.k.a. my 21-year-old son, Reeve): he’s been asked by his work-study boss at the choral library to dress like Mozart and go talk to local elementary school kids about classical music. Which just cracks me up. He’ll do a great job, I know, because he’s really good with little people and he loves to talk music. But sure wish Tim and I could be there to listen in. . . # Photo of Reeve as Papageno in Mozart’s “The Magic Flute” taken during a night of opera scenes at New Mexico State last... read more

Mothering my Mama

As the years have passed and I moved out of infant, toddler and child mothering and into preteen, teen and adult mothering, I held in the back of my mind the thought of mother mothering. I am one of two girls and two boys born to my mother and father. I am the eldest. I knew the day would come when my parents would have health issues and would need help with their day-to-day living tasks. My father has had health issues for many years and my mother has been his caregiver day in and day out. She also mothered her own mother for several years as well as her... read more

The Car Spa

It’s summer and in my household this means the kids are home more either telling me they’re having the best time of their lives or so bored not even tickets to a World Cup soccer game could satisfy them (well, maybe my nine-year-old). I’m in the middle of reading Book Five of the Percy Jackson series to my 11-year-old and Book Two of the same series to my 9-year-old, mixing up Gods and demi-gods left and right. And I’m behind on every summer work and personal commitment I’ve made to myself. Sound familiar? I’ve been thinking about this a lot, wondering how... read more

3 Year Old Jealous of New Baby

We have a three-year-old at home and recently had another baby. Prior to our new baby, our three-year-old was our everything. He received lots of attention from both of us and I (mommy) was lucky enough to stay home with him on a full-time basis. Since the birth of our second son, our three-year-old has shown incredible jealousy. We expected some of this and understand it's a normal reaction to a new baby in the family. However, it's been five months now, and he continues to struggle with his interactions with his baby brother. I have to watch him like a hawk as I have... read more

A Life-Ending Deal

Yesterday I wrote about having a plan for your children in case you die unexpectedly.Today, unfortunately, I’m writing again about death. My writing colleague and cyber-space friend Katie Allison Granju lost her son, Henry Louis Granju, yesterday. Eighteen years old, Henry died while he was recovering from a drug overdose and drug-related assault. Katie, who is loved by many Mothering readers for her book, Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child, is eight months pregnant with her fifth child. She’s been blogging every day, sometimes more than... read more

Goodbye Henry Granju

by Jake Aryeh Marcus Find Sustainable Mothering on Facebook and Jake on Twitter.Henry Granju died yesterday evening. His mother, Katie Allison Granju, author of Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child has been blogging about Henry and the circumstances that led to his death at her blog, MamaPundit. While I hope to write more about addiction, a condition from which even the most dedicated attachment parent may not be spared, today I want only to express deep sadness that a mother has lost her son.Here is a video by South African musician... read more


Reeve’s home for the summer. He’s been cleaning out his room, trying to get rid of old stuff to make the space feel more like his room (as in contemporary and current), less like a shrine to his childhood. He found this in the front of an old book.I don’t remember his writing this, but am oddly flattered—all these years later. Obviously, he thought of this book as one we read together.You never know (except, sometimes you do! Sometimes, even 17 years down the road!) what your child notices—and claims . . . The things you do together matter.#P.S. Killer ampersand,... read more

Happy Anniversary?

Little Me, May 13, 2000Ten years ago today, I got married. In a church, with all of the trimmings. My wedding cake had more ruffles than my dress. “Happy anniversary!” my ex-husband said merrily this morning, on the phone, as we discussed kid details. We’re still co-parents, though no longer spouses. I kind of want to celebrate, but feel hemmed in by what’s expected of me–or that nothing’s expected of me. I’m maybe supposed to feel bad. Mournful. I did have a verklempt moment, but overall, I feel happy. I love being a mama to my two children. I never would have moved to... read more

there is no mother here

I awoke last night to darkness. Not the room, in this case, but my sense of things. You know that dark night of the soul feeling you can get in the wee hours when you’re sure* that all is lost and you’re alone, inadequate, a failure, etc? Times like this I long for reassurance from someone who knows more than I do, someone I can trust to tell me everything is OK. I want Mom. But not my mom. (For starters, I wouldn’t want to freak her out with my freakout.) It’s more like I want the idea of Mom.** When we talk about the empty nest, we tend to focus on... read more

you do what you can . . .

The empty nest just got emptier. Tim and I took our five kittens (born in late February to the feral kitty who showed up at our back door last summer) to the animal shelter for adoption Sunday. We had talked about the shelter as a possible eventuality—if we weren’t able to find homes for the kittens (we already had four cats, so keeping any kittens was out of the question) —but didn’t really have a plan as to when. We figured we’d know when it was time. So, this weekend, old friends (one allergic to cats) were coming from Iowa to visit, due to arrive... read more

Mothering › Child Articles