• Created on 1/4/11 by mamazee

Last week at Mothering Outside the Lines I resolved to improve my marriage. Part of having a happier marriage, I think, is learning how to express negative emotions to your spouse in a way that he or she can hear. If we yell and accuse (Exhibit A. That would be me) we just make our partners defensive and upset. But if we communicate and problem-solve together (Exhibit B. That would be Alisa Bowman, whose book I wrote about last week), we can work together to get to a better place in ourselves and in our relationships. According to Harriet Lerner,... read more

• Created on 1/2/11 by mamazee

  Though you may indulge in it often, pipe smoking is NOT good for your health either To kick off the New Year here at Mothering Outside the Lines, we’ve been talking about relationships and how to improve them. Ask a mom if things are going well in her marriage. Chances are, she’ll say yes. Give her a glass of wine and ask her if she ever gets mad at her husband. Chances are she’ll snort the Chardonnay right out her nose. When my friend Martha Brockenbrough wrote an article for Parenting (“Mad at Dad”) about moms and anger, it struck... read more

• Created on 12/31/10 by Mothering Editorial

At 10 weeks, the day after Christmas, I found out that my baby had died at 8 weeks. I cannot believe how sad I feel. I have withdrawn from all family and friends except for my husband and children. I do not know how to deal with this grief. I don't know if it is worse because the pregnancy was not planned, and my husband did not want another baby. Despite the surprise he was coming around to accepting the baby. I was really happy to be pregnant and felt this baby would complete our family. Now I feel sad and hopeless because I know my husband won't try again. In fact he... read more

• Created on 12/31/10 by mamazee

A few years ago my friend Lisa looked at my 30 New Year’s resolutions with distaste. “Those aren’t resolutions,” she said, slugging her quad espresso, “that’s a to do list.” Then there was the year I was reading Harriet Lerner’s book about facing your fears and resolved to get more rejections. That year I broke into the travel section of the New York Times. When I smarted over the fact that I could also wallpaper the living room with all the rejections, my husband told me to cheer up. “You’re fulfilling your New Year’s resolution!” he reminded... read more

• Created on 12/28/10 by AdinaL

  I work with a lot of serious entrepreneurs. By “serious” I mean devoted, aware, hungry, keen. At conferences and parties, I come into contact with plenty of hobby-preneurs, freshling-preneurs, just-getting-on-the-path-preneurs. I adore them one and I adore them all.       But this takes the wind right out of my strategic cheerleader sails:     I ask: “So how much money do you want to make this year?”     Reply: “Um…I…well…” Knife in my heart. Hole in my sails.     You’re in business to make... read more

• Created on 12/21/10 by AdinaL

Oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us! - Robert Burns To be truly witnessed is a mighty thing. When we are recognized and validated by someone else, that moment of communion becomes it’s own little “satellite of love,” as Lou Reed might say. Objectivity is a powerful thing. Objectivity + love can rewrite your whole storyline. Recognition doesn’t have to be glowing to be powerful. Sometimes having a well-intentioned heart standing next you to say, “I see what you’re going through and man, it sucks,” can be the most... read more

• Created on 12/20/10 by Mothering Editorial

Issue 137 July/August 2006 The recent environmental, cultural, and political upheavals around the globe remind us of the fragility and volatility of Mother Earth and of how intrinsically bound we all are to the past, the present, and what we decide to make of the future. Music is often a barometer of the spirit of humankind and of how we are dealing with these trials and tribulations. Here are some reflections on music from some of these places and some thoughts on how music continues to offer hope during these times of great challenge. The Indian Ocean Tsunami On... read more

• Created on 12/14/10 by AdinaL

An article I wrote awhile back (titled “Sorry? Only Say It If You Mean It”) elicited some good thinking and rambling. Like this from White Hot Truth reader, “S”, who said: “… A sister has stopped speaking to me ‘unless I apologize.’ I could say I’m sorry just to have her back in my life and to soothe things over, but it would be a sell-out. It has been her pattern to “create” victimhood in her life, giving her a reason to always be angry. I am breaking my lifelong habit of enabling her.” “I demand an apology!” If you have to demand it, is it... read more

• Created on 12/13/10 by AdinaL

Don't Mess With A Martial Artist This morning my kids brought me the fairytale game and asked me to tell them a story. The game has a spinner and directions, but we never follow them. We use the raw material in the game: four backdrops and a handful of characters & magical items, and make up our own stories. I knew the story I was going to tell before I even started. As I began speaking, I second guessed myself; should I really do this? But, something bigger than my doubt urged me on. Very recently, we experienced a life-threatening... read more

• Created on 12/11/10 by AdinaL

A place to pool our knowledge and wisdom about supping vitamins and minerals, especially for reactive LO's and nursing mamas.  This is by no means a complete list, just the specialized stuff we've been most interested in in the allergies forum.   And some helpful threads: Supplements - biotin, pantothenic acid, zinc, folate .... ??? Hiding supplements and dense nutrition in foods     Vitamins: Vitamin A primary food sources - Liver, egg yolks, butter.  Beta Carotene in orange/yellow plant foods (carrots, sweet potatoes, etc) isn't converted... read more