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Signing Up For An Epidural

9K views 166 replies 68 participants last post by  leafwood 
#1 ·
One of my husband's friends just knew she wanted an epidural. She decided this before her son's birth, and followed through with that plan.

If you made the same decision before one of your children's births, how and why did you come to that decision?

I'm just trying to understand where she's coming from.

Thanks,
Lydia
 
#53 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by UrbanCrunchyMama View Post
is there an especially strong link between sexual assault/abuse and birth? I'm assuming you mean that the abuse did NOT result in the pregnancy, but that the history of abuse may present itself in unfavorable ways in birth? In what ways?
My understanding (from women very close to me) is that it often has more to do with having a bunch of people invading you, literally. For many abuse survivors merely going to the GYN for a routine checkup can become a trigger. Add to that the usual hospital birthing experience of complete loss of self and sense of control and I think you've got an obvious recipe for serious triggers. Maybe having the epi allows the mind to remain clear and more able to consciouly process what is going on? Or just allows a sense of retained control.

I appreciate your asking this question sincerely. It is something I have often wondered myself.
 
#54 ·
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Originally Posted by blueridgewoman View Post
The actual epi itself was wonderful-- I had a very sweet, helpful doctor and she did it just enough so that I could still feel my legs and feel pressure from each contraction. I pushed in a squatting position and ended up delivering my dd on hands and knees, which was great.
That's amazing! I didn't even know this was possible. Every woman who gets an epidural should experience this level of expertise and care. It would surely cut down on interventions, IMO.
 
#55 ·
For some, the intense pressure in the pelvic region, as well as any pain that is present, can trigger memories of rape. I also think that it has something to do with being in "labor land" where you go into a different part of yourself to deal with contractions. For me, getting drunk can trigger memories, because I 'let go' and those thoughts surface. But I can definitely understand how labor would do it for other women.
 
#57 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by UrbanCrunchyMama View Post
I understand that any emotional trauma can thwart progress in labor; however (pardon my ignorance), is there an especially strong link between sexual assault/abuse and birth? I'm assuming you mean that the abuse did NOT result in the pregnancy, but that the history of abuse may present itself in unfavorable ways in birth? In what ways?
A lot of survivors have strong feelings about birth/labor, partly because of the loss of control (labor is a lot of things, but controllable isn't one of them) and partly because of so much intense sensation focused in the vagina. This isn't true of every survivor, of course, but history of sexual assault/abuse can absolutely be an issue in pregnancy and birth. Some survivors prefer to have an epidural so they can dissociate from the intense bodywork of labor/birth.

Penny Simkin has written an excellent book on labor support for survivors, and I think anyone working with birthing women should read it.
 
#58 ·
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Originally Posted by BetsyS View Post
I hear what you're saying, though. I have a friend that is all about NCB. All about it. She's done it twice, and is pregnant with her third. But she HATES breastfeeding and weans at like 11 months. I do NOT get this. AT ALL. I think it's insane. For me, I was all about an epidural, but I am still breastfeeding at 15 months with no intention of quitting. I love the breastfeeding part of having a baby. NCB? Not so much. Everyone has different priorities.
This is interesting to me, too...I have friends and acquaintances who are huge NCB proponents, but also practice CIO!! What, you're super-concerned about the baby during labor, but once she's born, set her aside?
:
 
#59 ·
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Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
It's not that I was frightened of the pain-but I don't like pain. Why would I go thru that if I didn't have to?
What I meant was that it doesn't ALWAYS hurt for women. In your case, you went through enough labor to know that this particular birth was a painful one for you. It doesn't mean that another woman would have a painful first birth, or even that your next birth will be painful.

I just don't see the sense in planning for it to be painful. I can certainly understand having a plan B for if it IS painful, but not planning on it being painful... Unless, of course, a woman has only ever heard of painful labors and what she sees on TV.

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
I have more trouble understanding why someone whould't want one than why they would. I don't even understand why I'd consider not even trying to get one if I ever have a vbac.
For one, the possible complications are enough for me to never get an epidural. Not to mention the idea of a needle in my spine. But the complications to me and the baby are just not worth the risk. No intervention is without risk, and for me, it doesn't seem worthwhile.

And, the part of natural labor that isn't talked about... the hormones! OMG, it's 100 times better than sex. Henci Goer talks about this in her book, explaining that the hormones are blocked in a medicated birth. And wow, I wouldn't miss that for the world. It's the reason I want to give birth again.


Quote:

Originally Posted by angelcat View Post
If I did get an epi, I'd want it early on-they put my spinal in during a contraction, and it was beyond awful. Took a dr. and 2 nurses to hold me down. I never want to go thru that again. (In case anyone missed my ealier post, I eneded up with a c-section after all that, hence the spinal-yep, horrendous labour pain with no epi, and I needed a c-section anyhow))
I had 20 hours in the hospital with pitocin augmented labor and magnesium sulfate... and still ended up with a cesarean. For me, the labor was the best part. I was so glad to have been able to labor for so long, to give my baby the hormones he needed for a safe arrival. Not to mention the fact that I found labor fun and exhilarating. I guess it all depends on your perspective.
 
#60 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by danotoyou2 View Post
What I meant was that it doesn't ALWAYS hurt for women. In your case, you went through enough labor to know that this particular birth was a painful one for you. It doesn't mean that another woman would have a painful first birth, or even that your next birth will be painful.

I just don't see the sense in planning for it to be painful. I can certainly understand having a plan B for if it IS painful, but not planning on it being painful... Unless, of course, a woman has only ever heard of painful labors and what she sees on TV.

For one, the possible complications are enough for me to never get an epidural. Not to mention the idea of a needle in my spine. But the complications to me and the baby are just not worth the risk. No intervention is without risk, and for me, it doesn't seem worthwhile.

And, the part of natural labor that isn't talked about... the hormones! OMG, it's 100 times better than sex. Henci Goer talks about this in her book, explaining that the hormones are blocked in a medicated birth. And wow, I wouldn't miss that for the world. It's the reason I want to give birth again.


I had 20 hours in the hospital with pitocin augmented labor and magnesium sulfate... and still ended up with a cesarean. For me, the labor was the best part. I was so glad to have been able to labor for so long, to give my baby the hormones he needed for a safe arrival. Not to mention the fact that I found labor fun and exhilarating. I guess it all depends on your perspective.

In the event I have another child, and decide to vbac, I wouldn't plan on an epidural. I just think I'd be nuts not to, but I still wouldn't. There was something...almost empowering? about not having one.

For me, labour was aboslutely nothing like sex, and I'm glad. It would just weird for me if it was. I guess each to their own.

My dr. did say labour was good for the baby, even if I did end up with a c-section, which was why I didn't schedule one even though I am pretty sure I could have. BUt I tend to get a little hostile when women who've never had a c-section hear I had opne, and say I"m lucky, cause I didn't go thru labour. Um yeah, I did, and the c-section recovery was worse than labour!
 
#61 ·
I get really sick of the "you're in pain from labor because you were sexually abused" line, especially when midwives use it (I've read it in more than one book by MWs). Wow, how presumptuous. Maybe an individual mother who was sexually abused can draw this link for herself, but it was not the reason in my case. I was sexually abused and got through 3 unmedicated births just fine. Some births are more painful than others. Can I spell it out any more clearly? You can sway circumstances to or away from your favor to a certain degree, but it's the luck of the draw ultimately, even if you are super prepared, relaxed, made great choices, surround yourself with a good environment, etc..
 
#62 ·
ITA that labour can be very, very painful. I am not a sexual abuse survivor and damn it hurt. For a long long time. Unimaginable pain. I've heard the line that it only hurts if you're afraid and damn, I resent that. As though if only I were more 'enlightened' it would have been easier. Right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by danotoyou2 View Post
And, the part of natural labor that isn't talked about... the hormones! OMG, it's 100 times better than sex. Henci Goer talks about this in her book, explaining that the hormones are blocked in a medicated birth. And wow, I wouldn't miss that for the world. It's the reason I want to give birth again.

Can you explain this more? I've never heard this, but I know there was SOMETHING in my natural birth that made me higher than I have ever been in my life, once the baby came. And I was high for days and days. What a way to greet motherhood and a new child. That is why I want to give birth naturally again.
 
#63 ·
I remember being on a high after both my babies were born but I wouldn't say it was better than sex but thats JMO. I just felt like I drank too much coffee and was a bit wired.

After my first son I didn't sleep for more than a short nap here and there for 36 hours after he was born. I was just so wide awake.

After my second son I slept just hours after his birth. It was so quick (25min) I think i didn't get as much of a hormone boost but I was still feeling great the next day.
 
#64 ·
I know I want an epidural. This is my first baby, and I've already decided.

1) I don't deal well with pain. I cry. I feel fusterated. I feel humiliated. I feel weak.

2) I've had Braxton-Hicks contractions that have hurt like hell, have put me to tears, and where I was unable to talk or even hear what my husband was saying to me.

3) As a rape survivor I know I'm going to have to deal with things that make me think of that time like unknown people staring at my genitals, people other than my husband putting their hands in intimate places, and several others. Pain "down there" is something that immediately triggers me to get panicky, scared, and sometimes irrational. (And now that I've read this thread I'm also scared of the loss of control. That could definately screw me up.) That's not something that I'm willing to even consider during a moment so precious as bringing life into the world.

All in all I want my birth to be a happy joyful occasion, and I don't believe I would be able to do that without the aid of an epidural.
 
#65 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by meowee View Post
I get really sick of the "you're in pain from labor because you were sexually abused" line, especially when midwives use it (I've read it in more than one book by MWs).
Whoa here. I didn't say that this was true for all survivors. But of the patients I've had come in planning an early epidural, a large proportion of them were survivors.
 
#66 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by brackin View Post
This is interesting to me, too...I have friends and acquaintances who are huge NCB proponents, but also practice CIO!! What, you're super-concerned about the baby during labor, but once she's born, set her aside?
:
I used to work with a lady that had un-medicated homebirths, but then started Ferberizing her babies at 4 months old.
She would go around telling people that having a medicated birth was child-abuse, but then would get super pissed when people criticized CIO.
 
#67 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by thismama View Post
Can you explain this more? I've never heard this, but I know there was SOMETHING in my natural birth that made me higher than I have ever been in my life, once the baby came. And I was high for days and days. What a way to greet motherhood and a new child. That is why I want to give birth naturally again.

It's the most amazing feeling, IME
So completely empowering and exhiliarting. I didn't get that with my Pit/epidural/every other intervention birth. He and I truly missed out on something extremely important, and I didn't realize what we had lost until I had experienced a physiologically normal birth.

Here's one of my favorite birth articles that explains the natural process. HTH
 
#68 ·
I haven't read all four pages of posts, just answering the initial question.

With my first two, I knew I was going to be having an epidural. Because they were both also inductions, we had them send in the anesthesiologist early on, so I could have all of the paperwork signed before they needed to actually put it in. With my first, my midwife wasn't going to be awake and in the hospital in the beginning stages of my induction, so she pre-approved the epidural at any stage of dilation. (Meaning I didn't have to be X centimeters dilated to get the epi; I could have it whenever I wanted.)

Honestly, natural childbirth (i.e. going into labor on my own, doing it without drugs, etc.) seemed like such a "martyr" thing to me to do. Why would you put yourself through that if you didn't need to? It's what happens when the mainstream media shoves that down your throat.

I am planning this birth in a birthing center, drug free. As soon as I say that to people, their initial reaction is usually, "WHY?!" And, admittedly, that was always my response when pregnant women would tell ME that they weren't getting an epidural.

They very rarely put a "mainstream looking" mom on The Baby Story having a baby at home/in a birthing center with no drugs. Natural childbirth is not presented in the media (and let's be honest; in my generation - the 20-somethings - we're a media-driving generation) as what is "normal".
 
#69 ·
Sorry, I should have clarified the "better than sex hormones."


It's not DURING labor, but after the baby is born (and during crowning, but I was too intent on pushing to really notice it). The body is flooded with hormones that are similar to the effects after an orgasm... but, about 100 times the amount of those hormones. It's the same as a 'runner's high' (but you don't get a baby at the end with running
)

It's basically the body's way of coping with any pain that might set in after the baby is out. You don't notice any pain because you're on this incredible high. It also helps with bonding with the baby.

For me, the high lasted about 3 or 4 days. The first few hours were amazing, I felt like I could climb a mountain! My MW even commented that most women aren't so "energized" after a long labor, but I felt great. Those hormones were working great for me.

I'm sorry that I don't have time to look up the particular reasons for why those hormones are blocked during a medicated book, but it IS in Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. So, all I can say is that I've read that it is blocked during a medicated birth... and I wouldn't trade that high for all the medication in the world.
 
#70 ·
I signed on with an epi with my first because my mom told me to. She had both my sister and I with no drugs, and told me to get the epidural, that it "wasn't worth it".

Of course, I listened to my mom. Even though at the time, I didn't feel I needed it. I got the epi a whopping hour before my daughter was born, and wasn't even in anything close to pain. Just minorly annoyed with the contractions.

Now, I feel cheated, and on top of that, I feel like my mom didn't trust my ability to handle it.
 
#71 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Redifer View Post
I signed on with an epi with my first because my mom told me to. She had both my sister and I with no drugs, and told me to get the epidural, that it "wasn't worth it".
My mom also did this... when I was about 9 months pregnant. All growing up she'd told me that having a baby wasn't a big deal, and that having me (her 4th) was a piece of cake because she'd done lamaze classes. Then, she watched a show on birth (one of those "Birth Day" or something shows) and said she forgot how awful it was, and I should just "get the drugs." I felt really betrayed by her because of that. It was a little late in the game to be springing any new developments on me, like "it hurts like an SOB," to possibly scare me. As it was, I'm now able to go on and on about how birth is so cool and I had fun with it.
 
#72 ·
I didn't have a birth high. I had a completely NCB, no drugs, no episiotomy, etc. No birth high. I got scammed!


(Still hoping for one for next time . . . .)

Fortunately for me, my mom had non-epidural births - she was told she couldn't have one due to a prior back injury. When my brother was born, she had pitocin. When I was born, nothing (she showed up at 10). Her main line was that it was not a big deal and that I'd be fine. I think my NCB was tougher than hers!

She also had Leboyer births and liked the dim lights, calm voices, warm bath and slow transition for baby aspects of that kind of birth.
 
#73 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by georgia View Post
It's the most amazing feeling, IME
So completely empowering and exhiliarting. I didn't get that with my Pit/epidural/every other intervention birth. He and I truly missed out on something extremely important, and I didn't realize what we had lost until I had experienced a physiologically normal birth.

Here's one of my favorite birth articles that explains the natural process. HTH

Thank you for that!

I mean, my labour really really did hurt. A lot. I had serious pain for probably... 28 hours? A long arsed bloody time. I got transferred to hospital for stalled labour and was begging for the epi, and anything else they would give me in the interim. But the nitrous oxide in my room didn't work and the epi didn't come til I was 9 cm, and by then I was able to refuse it. For awhile there though I was trying to figure out how to suicide it was so shocking.

But man... was it worth it. For me, honestly it was. I hope I can endure again for that reason. Well I hope it's not so hard next time but if it is I hope I can hold out. When the baby came, all the pain disappeared and I was so so incredibly high... like that 'I am wide open and in love with everything' feeling you get on MDMA, but ten times more intense. I'd never seen anyone so beautiful as my baby, I was instantly in love with her. She was amazing and so familiar to me already.

When they released us from the hospital the next morning the tag on her didn't match the number it should have, and they tried to calm me thinking I would be freaking out that someone switched my baby. But I knew her already and a mismatched number seemed so stupid, like if my best friend was wearing the wrong number i would still know who it was, yk? By contrast my friend who had an epi said there was no way she could pick her baby out of a lineup, and I don't know if that is why but it feels true to me that there is *something* amazing about natural birth.

After doing that, I felt incredibly powerful, fully confident in my mothering abilities (what was basic infant care after *that*, yk??) and in LOVE with my baby immediately. I would say I was totally stoned for about 5 days, didn't need much sleep, time passed without notice, it was like those old cartoons of the old hospital where someone drops a bottle of ether and everyone is just floating around. Anyone remember those? Nothing hurt (like my stitches etc), I was just soaring, with the babe. Amazing.

I would do it again for that reason alone really. I don't worry too much about epi side effects myself, or about possible effects on the baby, and I think it is really fine and good for a mama to not feel she has to endure agonizing pain as a gift to the baby during birth, etc. But man, the high, and meeting my infant in that space, it was unreal.
 
#74 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
I didn't have a birth high. I had a completely NCB, no drugs, no episiotomy, etc. No birth high. I got scammed!


(Still hoping for one for next time . . . .)
x-posted, sorry. I had the screen open for a long time. I think it is different for everyone, and that's why judgment about women's choices in birth really feels out of place to me. 'Everyone gets super stoned' is about as accurate as 'you felt pain because you weren't enlightened enough.' I think it's really good to talk about personal experiences with natural birth, but it is important to remember our experiences do not necessarily mean anything about how other women will experience birth.
 
#75 ·
Quote:
I remember being on a high after both my babies were born but I wouldn't say it was better than sex but thats JMO.
Me too. I got the high with my NCB, but I've described it to people as a "post-orgasm" type feeling. Just relaxed, happy and on top of the world. I remember being amazed at the amount of energy I had afterward and I suppose that was all part of it too. I felt completely wiped out after my epidural birth.

The epi definitely blocks the birth high. I attended a conference where Linda Smith spoke this summer and she talked quite a bit about that. She pointed out that if the epi doesn't work for you, or wears off, you're actually somewhat worse off than you were before because this hormone rush is blocked. It also appears to interfere with the baby's ability to deal with the birth pain, which is a rather horrifying thought to me. Interestingly, too, the birth rush hormones do hang around and get into the mothers milk--the evidence seems to indicate that it's something that actually makes the mother's milk more comforting to the baby.

Jen
 
#77 ·
When I got pregnant with my first, I thought for sure I would have an epidural; everyone around me had one, so why wouldn't I?

Well, fate had a different plan. I got to the hospital, was only 3 cm, but I had been contracting for only 45 minutes...but they were very close, very intense. They sent the anesthesiologist into the room to put in the epidural, and when I sat up, it was show time!! I couldn't sit on the bed; my baby was coming! i pushed three times and she was out! Total labor was just over 1.5 hours (first contraction to delivery)...for a first timer, that was amazing!

My second, I wanted an epidural...same scenario, I was pushing before the doctor (even the OB!!) showed up!

I didn't even bother with the 3rd, 4th and 5th; I survived it, and now wouldn't have it any other way. I handled the pain much better than I thought I would; perhaps because I wasn't aware I was ready to deliver!!

I have precipitous labors and deliveries...the decision was made for me. My labors have gotten shorter each time (if that's possible), and my water never breaks.

I loved the fact I could get up and walk so soon after the delivery; I was elated for days!
 
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