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Jan '08 Lower Income and/or Struggling Mama's Support

27K views 688 replies 77 participants last post by  mum4boys 
#1 ·
Happy New Year Mama's!

Link to December '07 thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=801816

Welcome to 2008!

For any struggling mama in need of support, though the majority on here are low income or in a large amount of debt... *all* are welcome.

This is a flame free support zone ONLY! This thread also gets very long (between 1500 and 2000+ posts) so be prepared for that. You do NOT have to reply to every post, you are allowed to whine and rant... we won't mind!


We have been trying to keep up a positive "Pay it Forward" attitude on this thread and help each other out. Many list "gratefuls"... things we are grateful for each day... even if it is only that we have our kids. There is always something, even if we don't feel it... that is to be grateful for.

Awesome, wonderful and WORTHY Mama's and Lurkers who posted in December: 98 mama's and counting!


Thystle
Nature
janerose
Crunchy Doula
Fruitful4Him
justmama
Iris' Mom
Aura_Kitten
amydidit
gradmama
SherryR
CaliMommie
kijip
vannienicole
Satori
LankyLizards
shayinme
ediesmom
bwylde
mum4boys
captain crunchy
momma earthical
slvsquared
s_kristina
sarah_bella1050
DuchsLove
natural_mama89
JamesMama
Belleweather
mrskennedy
~*Jaime
NamastePlatypus
sandygirl
dachshundqueen
2Sweeties1Angel
sonrisaa29
captivatedlife
cwat
chely7425
serenetabbie
eilonwy
MomOnDaEdge
AngelBee
vannienicole
serenetabbie
mamamoo (with guest appearance from rachelle-a-tron)
happyhippiemama
CluckyInAZ
Daniel's Kitty
Stace
~Nikki~
~Purity♥Lake~
MrsMike
barky586
Lauraplusmany
Myboysmom
Mom of 4 Sweeties
canadiannancy
southernmommie
sunshine's mama
asianyoushi
mamaofprincesses
acegmom
yarngoddess
sunanthem
canuckgal
UmmIbrahim
triscuitsmom
sanguine_speed
dionnakay
zersha
KnockedUpButtercup
binkin
Nursingnaturalmom
slmroczka
Myboysmom
sarah10998
MamaJamie
Dillpicklechip
Mearaina
ReikiMommy07
lorelei
CrunchyTamara
blairhoney
Oceanjones
hippiemum21580
averysmomma05
cubasianchica
magstphil
heyitstwins
susienjay
MamaWindmill
sarahloughmiller
kristenyostdc
Baby Makes 4
flibberlips

All you mama's remember this:

You are NOT your surroundings.

You are NOT your clothes.

You are NOT your home.

You are NOT your current situation.

You are NOT your bank account.

And you are NOT the sum of what one single person (stranger, friend, or family) thinks or says of you.

YOU are what YOU make of yourself and ONLY YOU can give that power away to others.

You are worthy. Don't "allow" others to "take" that from you!


 
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#5 ·
If my counting is accurate there were:

98 mama's who posted last month

1544 posts were made

78 pages long (at 20 per page viewing)

29,126 views were made by 6:50 pm 12/31 (lots of lurkers
)

OCD moment over... I am bored.
 
#6 ·


Greatfuls for today:

1. Kids bounce. I had a pretty wretched day yesterday and I was not the world's nicest mommy.
: I can work on it, though, and hopefully they're not traumatized for life. They bounce.


2. The Feb 08 DDC, for sharing the love (and the ick
).

3. Bella's talking a lot more. I'm not sure if she's behind or on time or what, but I've been worried (she's not like her siblings
). It's still blurry and there aren't a lot of sentences, but she's picking up new words right and left.

4. A well-stocked fridge. Yay food stamps!


5. Floravital, for returning me to the status of "human being."
I'm sadly dysfunctional without it.

6. Flax seed oil, which has done wonders for my tapioca brain.

7. The luxury of thinking that the maternal-fetal medicine specialists following my pregnancy are a bit paranoid. I was thinking about this, because they want me to do all kinds of crazy things (like have non-stress tests every week?! and ultrasounds every two weeks?!?!) now that the end of my pregnancy is approaching. It's a bit overreactive when it looks likely that the baby is G-6-PD deficient but nothing else. I mean the absolute worst case scenario, he's born a bit early and a bit small (and by 'a bit early' I mean before 38 weeks, not before 36), and develops a pretty raging case of jaundace in his first few weeks (not the normal physiologic sort, but from hemolytic anemia). Yeah, it's potentially really freaking dangerous, but the chances are really fantastic that even if he *is* G-6-PD deficient, he'll be totally fine at birth (and most of the time thereafter). Then I realized that this is what maternal-fetal medicine specialists do; They deal with that little tiny population of women and babies who experience the worst of the worst. The high-risk population exists, and I'm greatful not to be part of it.


8. Seamonkey's kidneys (the reason I am always referred to a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, at least for testing, in the first place) are fine and dandy.
BooBah's kidney issues are thankfully quite managable at this stage, but it was scary and a real PITA when she was teensy.


9. my internet friends really care about me.
: This board and the good friends I've made playing the game not only provide me with my only social outlets; They've truly restored my faith in humanity. I've been an outsider and a wierdo my entire life, but the internet has allowed me to find other people who think the way I do, who feel the way I do, who understand me and, most importantly, who give a damn. I feel like people I've never heard or seen in real life know me better than those who do in a lot of cases, and I'm so floored especially by this thread and the Holiday Helpers; People who in some cases don't even know me all that well "by post," who've never chatted with me on aim, and who have still done amazing things for me and for my family.


10. BooBah's cough is a lot better already. She's still acting 'sick' (less active than usual, and less appetite-- BooBah is ALWAYS hungry when she's healthy, but tonight, for example, she skipped dinner) but she's clearly feeling a lot better than yesterday.
 
#7 ·
Hi, I'm new to the site and the thread.
I lurked a little bit in last months thread, and saw so much support and awesomeness that I was compelled to join in!

My name is Desiree and I'm a single mom to one. In October my now-ex signed a lease on a new townhouse with me... then walked out on me a couple of weeks later. I am now stuck with the townhouse, and scrimping and saving to afford it because after years of apartment living, the space and the yard are so awesome for my daughter. Giving it up and going back to a crappy apartment is not an option for me - things will be tight but I know we will be better off here.
 
#8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher View Post
Hi, i'm new to this thread. Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Holly, I'm from Vermont and I have a wonderful DH and a 4 month old DS.
Hi and welcome! I did a double-take when I saw your name, because I'm Holly and I'm a teacher, too! What do you teach? I'm 8th grade English.

H.
 
#9 ·
so I think I'll try and keep up on this thread, though I've lurked forever. My name is Tiffany I have 3 kids, 3 yr old b/g twins, and a one year old boy. My youngest son is always quite ill. My husband had his new girlfriend show up at my house and introduce herself to me and then he left with her with her immediately afterward. It was such a feeling of relief, and freedom, and new beginnings to be honest. He was never particularly nice, and my life has fallen into this beautiful place of me being able to do whatever i want.


I'm grateful today for:

My beautiful children, and a home that is happy now.
My wonderful dog who was left in the bathroom of this home when we moved in.
New year, new possibilities...
 
#10 ·
Hey mamas. Happy end of '07!
Thystle you must have alot of virgo in your chart; you are so organized and good with lists. And thystle; I'm a home/un schooler too, though my kids are just 2 and 4.
I also want to say that my 2T navy peacoat had found a taker on our thread, I just have to ship it off to her. Still have the 18m suit and many more kids clothes to come, soon.

Welcome Holly and Swell and Impossible!

Eliwony, I'm glad you're kids are starting to feel better!

My gratefuls for today.
1. I have a stocked fridge, freezer and pantry from shopping today and I survived shopping with my 2 crazy littles.

2. I came home to my hubby having picked up our disaster in all the major rooms and sweeping.

3. My friend Jenny who just had her first baby and looks to me for mommy advice calling and checking in while I unpacked my groceries.
we daydreamed about saving up so one day her and me and our kids could take a short trip to Cancun or Puerto Rico to sit on the beach.

4. My kids both have new socks
!

5. Miraculously all my bills are paid this month, now to get through to February!

6. I have a crock pot and coffee pot/grinder coming in the mail from MIL for my christmas present!!! YAY


I am feeling the push to change and renew my focus with the New Year. I would like to get back on track with my schooling to become a massage therapist. With the baby born while I was in school I've been completely avoiding it for awhile and am not the best at studying, but I have to.

I want to watch my finances and budget more this year and learn more about money in general.

I dont know what to do with dh; so we'll see on that.

I want to get some kind of healthcare for our family, even if I have to see just a natropath now and then. I've already started with getting us dentists.

I'd also like to be more crafty and maybe have some sort of etsy shop with stuff I make after the kids are asleep. I have made many things to trade and sell before, but I'd like to make a big stock up.

I'm staying home tonight and cleaning for new years. I'll check the list and see if I have anything y'all need!
 
#12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sunanthem View Post
Hey mamas. Happy end of '07!
Thystle you must have alot of virgo in your chart; you are so organized and good with lists. And thystle; I'm a home/un schooler too, though my kids are just 2 and 4.
I also want to say that my 2T navy peacoat had found a taker on our thread, I just have to ship it off to her. Still have the 18m suit and many more kids clothes to come, soon.

I went and took the coat off the list.

Not sure about my chart. I am an Aries born in the year of the Dragon if that helps.
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by impossible View Post
Hi, I'm new to the site and the thread.
I lurked a little bit in last months thread, and saw so much support and awesomeness that I was compelled to join in!

My name is Desiree and I'm a single mom to one. In October my now-ex signed a lease on a new townhouse with me... then walked out on me a couple of weeks later. I am now stuck with the townhouse, and scrimping and saving to afford it because after years of apartment living, the space and the yard are so awesome for my daughter. Giving it up and going back to a crappy apartment is not an option for me - things will be tight but I know we will be better off here.

Welcome! If you want ALOT of opionins on your budget, post it all in the main Frugal area and a ton of people will brainstorm with you!
 
#14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brojakee View Post
so I think I'll try and keep up on this thread, though I've lurked forever. My name is Tiffany I have 3 kids, 3 yr old b/g twins, and a one year old boy. My youngest son is always quite ill. My husband had his new girlfriend show up at my house and introduce herself to me and then he left with her with her immediately afterward. It was such a feeling of relief, and freedom, and new beginnings to be honest. He was never particularly nice, and my life has fallen into this beautiful place of me being able to do whatever i want.


I'm grateful today for:

My beautiful children, and a home that is happy now.
My wonderful dog who was left in the bathroom of this home when we moved in.
New year, new possibilities...

Welcome back!


Did he do that to be mean to you, or were you asking to meet her?
 
#16 ·
Hi Mamas! My computer died in the middle of finals week (of course
) so combined with the fact that it was finals week, I just couldn't keep up and i missed you all sooo much.


My girls and I had an awesome
: christmas thanks to our secret santa, the school's santa program, and my mother and her boyfriend. We actually spent the first Christmas EVER with my mama
:; actually, we spent five days with her - the most ever. So it was a pretty special Christmas. I hit the after Christmas sales for the first time ever, bought clothes for the kids and a new computer. I guess we will consider this a credit-building experience. I really am going to have to get a TAship this quarter or its going to be beyond tight, but that's life!


I'm really going to try to and keep up this month.....

So, I'm not a resolution mama 'cuz well, it doesn't seem productive for me, but I do have some reflections that i would like to share in the form of grats....

2007 has been quite possibly the best year ever.
1. Milestones included my graduation with my BA and admission to graduate school the same year I turned thirty.
2. My girls and I moved to a new town and it is going awesome in ways I didn't dare dream.
3. I am totally in love with one of my best friends ever...I am daring to dream that I might actually get to have love again and this is the most healthy and strong relationship I have ever had. May this long-distance relationship be not so long-distance in 2008 - I'm daring to hope for things....
4. I'm so blessed with some great friends and my family is starting to become closer as well.
5. I live in a paradise - I can look at mountains while smelling the ocean.

I really am just generally happier than I think I've ever been. I guess I'm afraid that 2008 couldn't possibly top this year - may it at least be on par.

Happy New Year mamas!! May it be a good one!
:
 
#17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher View Post
Hi, i'm new to this thread. Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Holly, I'm from Vermont and I have a wonderful DH and a 4 month old DS.
Our ds's share a birthday!!


Hi all!

I am grateful for af. (okay, a little weird, long story...)
I am grateful for my children
I am grateful for chocolate.
 
#20 ·

Quote:

Originally Posted by mum4boys View Post
Okay things I have to give.

I have two boys winter jackets size 8.
Dozen 6-9 month girl clothes including a couple of outfits and sleepers.

Mearaina

Updated list for both of you.
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher View Post
Hi, i'm new to this thread. Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Holly, I'm from Vermont and I have a wonderful DH and a 4 month old DS.
Welcome!

Quote:

Originally Posted by swellmomma View Post
I am definitely low income. Between compacting, the no spending thread, and decluttering hopefully I won't be struggling on that measly income. I am a single mom of 4, that just says it all doesn't it.
It is nice to meet you


Quote:

Originally Posted by impossible View Post
Hi, I'm new to the site and the thread.
I lurked a little bit in last months thread, and saw so much support and awesomeness that I was compelled to join in!

My name is Desiree and I'm a single mom to one. In October my now-ex signed a lease on a new townhouse with me... then walked out on me a couple of weeks later. I am now stuck with the townhouse, and scrimping and saving to afford it because after years of apartment living, the space and the yard are so awesome for my daughter. Giving it up and going back to a crappy apartment is not an option for me - things will be tight but I know we will be better off here.
Hello there


Quote:

Originally Posted by Brojakee View Post
so I think I'll try and keep up on this thread, though I've lurked forever. My name is Tiffany I have 3 kids, 3 yr old b/g twins, and a one year old boy. My youngest son is always quite ill. My husband had his new girlfriend show up at my house and introduce herself to me and then he left with her with her immediately afterward. It was such a feeling of relief, and freedom, and new beginnings to be honest. He was never particularly nice, and my life has fallen into this beautiful place of me being able to do whatever i want.


I'm grateful today for:

My beautiful children, and a home that is happy now.
My wonderful dog who was left in the bathroom of this home when we moved in.
New year, new possibilities...
How are you? It is good to finally see you in here


Well my "nap" today ended up being 5 hours long
My DH did not wake me up when he came home from work. His birthday is tomorrow so his brother is taking us out to lunch. I am also going to bake him a cake for his birthday. I am pretty excited about it.
 
#22 ·
You Mamas are pretty smart- does anyone know a good remedy for rashes? My DH accidentally used one of my shampoo bars on his whole body last night, and it isn't pretty
He must be allergic to it. It is really red and painful, is there anything I can put on it to provide him some relief? He is super allergic to pretty much anything, so I am limited here
:
 
#23 ·
I'm so happy to find this thread! We are struggling so hard financially right now...sometimes we barely have enough to eat.
We are about $10,000 dollars into credit card debt on my side, and about the same on dh's side for back child support and medical bills. *sigh* Dh is paying his support and has a job, but I have a chronic illness so I cannot work and have to SAHM, which of course I don't mind....but I would like to work at least a little bit since my kids are old enough now. So...we are gluey stuck. My wonderful mother is helping me out by making the minimum payments on some of my credit cards, but I am so afraid because I know she cannot keep doing that forever.
 
#24 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by KnockedUpButtercup View Post
Hi and welcome! I did a double-take when I saw your name, because I'm Holly and I'm a teacher, too! What do you teach? I'm 8th grade English.

H.
I teach preschool at a reggio-inspired center...but i'm on maternity leave at the moment
 
#25 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Jaime View Post
You Mamas are pretty smart- does anyone know a good remedy for rashes? My DH accidentally used one of my shampoo bars on his whole body last night, and it isn't pretty
He must be allergic to it. It is really red and painful, is there anything I can put on it to provide him some relief? He is super allergic to pretty much anything, so I am limited here
:
Aloe is good for rashes.
 
#26 ·
Hey Jaime, could your dh take a baking soda bath to calm the stinging and redness and itching???? That might help. When my kids get hives(my oldest is EXTREMELY sensitive to stuff and last time we went strawberry picking she broke out in a horrid rash everywhere from god only knows what. had to be a pesticide in the field.
) I toss them in a baking soda bath or put a baking soda paste on the welts.

So it's New Year's Eve and I was stuck working and will be tomorrow too. And the girls are with their dad so it's just me and the cat.
I'm sad, so I think I'll do my gratefuls to feel a little better:

-finished my first pair of longies for big bird last night. just need to make a drawstring and hat to go with them

-I'm 33weeks. One more week than I made it with Sara before PPROM. So I'm thrilled that big bird is still baking.

-well-stocked fridge, YAY food stamps! And yay for the caseworker who made it happen. Her name is Amy, so GO AMY!

-a really sweet kid at work who carries all the heavy stuff for me since I shouldn't be lifting 75lb racks and my manager doesn't care

-I'm nearly prepared for big bird's arrival with acquiring stuff. now to just concentrate on washing stuff and getting everything put out properly

-there's enough money in the paypal acct for some used preemie prefolds(I make small kids and my toddler uses them for doublers in her prefolds)

-tomorrow is Mady's last day of vacation. I love her, but it's totally time to get her back in school. She's bored and I'm frustrated.

-story time starts up again at the library soon.
 
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