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How would you feel if your kids grow up to be gay?

  • Thrilled--more gay is more better.

    Votes: 49 6.3%
  • Nonplussed--as long as they're happy, I'm good.

    Votes: 492 62.8%
  • Okay--I'd rather they were straight, but whatever.

    Votes: 132 16.9%
  • Disappointed--I think being gay is wrong and I don't want that for my kids.

    Votes: 82 10.5%
  • Angry--I'm so appalled by considering it that I can't imagine what I'd feel.

    Votes: 4 0.5%
  • Other, please explain

    Votes: 24 3.1%

S/O: Anon poll about your kids being gay

9K views 229 replies 136 participants last post by  Jilian 
#1 ·
You can say more about your vote in a post, but don't feel obligated.
 
#30 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
You know, it would depend. I think if I had a daughter, I'd be thrilled if she were a lesbian, and if I had a son, I'd be happier if he were straight. Why? To keep both of them out of the hands of abusive men.
i hear that.
 
#31 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by frog View Post
My cousin, R, is gay. He and his partner have a four-year old son and recently adopted newborn twins. Gay doesn't equal "nonparent."
i realize this, and i am sure i will make just about everyone unhappy with my response. i would want a grandchild by nature. i am very open to just about anything, so please don't jump down my throat about that. that is my opinion and no matter what is said i won't change it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGNPORTLAND View Post
Gay People Have Kids!!!

I know, my cousin and his partner have 2.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCVeg View Post
As frog said...why would being gay = no kids?
i never said that, people are assuming

Quote:

Originally Posted by davi View Post
i hope my grrls are instilled with a greater sense of self-worth than the capacity & functionality of their uterus.
is that directed to me?
 
#32 ·
I voted option 2. I realy have no stake in either of my childrens sexuality. I think part of the joy of dicovering ones sexual identity is that your mother is not involved. kwim?

When I was pregnant with ds I kept having dreams about the baby where he was dressed in boys clothes and we were refering to him as "he" but when I changed his diaper there was a vulva and "he" was obviously a girl. Part of me wonders if this means that he will discover that he is transgendered at some point. Of corse it's probably just a dream but I've spent a lot of time exploring my feelings about having a transgenders gay or bi child.

Ultimatly I just want him to be comfortable in his own skin.
 
#33 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom View Post
i realize this, and i am sure i will make just about everyone unhappy with my response. i would want a grandchild by nature. i am very open to just about anything, so please don't jump down my throat about that. that is my opinion and no matter what is said i won't change it.
Being gay doesn't preclude that, either.
 
#34 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
You know, it would depend. I think if I had a daughter, I'd be thrilled if she were a lesbian, and if I had a son, I'd be happier if he were straight. Why? To keep both of them out of the hands of abusive men.
Yup. That is the eloquent version of what I said in the other thread.
 
#35 ·
I'd rather they were straight - but whatever

I am happy as long as my kids are happy, it is really okay with me if they are gay, straight or somewhere in between.

However, the rest of the world and our family won't feel that way so I would rather they were straight because I think being straight would be easier for them. My youngest son is Asian and he will likely already have to deal with racism, I'd hate for him to have to deal with people hating him for being gay as well.

ETA: I think it wold break my heart if he was transgendered only because it seems like such a difficult road. Knowing my child was uncomfortable in their own body and there was nothing I could do about it would be devastating.
 
#36 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom View Post
i realize this, and i am sure i will make just about everyone unhappy with my response. i would want a grandchild by nature. i am very open to just about anything, so please don't jump down my throat about that. that is my opinion and no matter what is said i won't change it.
Gee, I sure hope your kids don't struggle with infertility and have to disappoint your criteria of wanting a "natural" grandchild. Ay yi yi.
 
#37 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
You know, it would depend. I think if I had a daughter, I'd be thrilled if she were a lesbian, and if I had a son, I'd be happier if he were straight. Why? To keep both of them out of the hands of abusive men.
I'm not sure that would work. Abusive men don't target only people who are sexually attracted to them. I have been abused by several men, none of whom was I dating, sexually attracted to, or in any way romantically involved with. You don't need to be romantically involved with an abuser to be abused. You just have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
 
#39 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
It was a touch choice between the first two for me. I ultimately chose non plussed.
I think I just did this in another thread, but you keep speaking for me

Exactly what you said.

In regards to grandchildren, I don't give a hoot if I have them or don't or where they come from if I do have any.
 
#40 ·
For me, I would be happy if they were true to themselves in their sexuality and followed whichever path(s) fullfilled them, whatever that might be.

And any partner(s) who makes my childs heart full will always be welcome in my life.

I just really, really want them to be happy.

Oh, so I voted option #2


Take care,
Tara
 
#41 ·
I voted "non-plussed," even though I wouldn't actually be shocked/confused/dumbfounded, which is what the word means to me. The only reason that I didn't vote "thrilled" is because I can't imagine caring that much about dd's sexual orientation. I wouldn't be "thrilled" if she were gay, straight, bi, ect. I would just be accepting.

ETA: DH would definitely vote "thrilled" if he read MDC. He vastly prefers women to men (as friends, not simply as sexual partners) and has real problems with the idea of his little girl ever being in a relationship with a man. He's going to be really hard on any boy/man that dd brings home.
 
#42 ·
I am somewhere between nonplussed and thrilled so I chose "thrilled."

I made the decision a long time ago that there will be no "coming out" in my household. I fully intend on raising my children in a home that recognizes and accepts the legitimacy of all forms of sexual expression (between consenting individuals, of course) whether it is straight, gay, bisexual, or just a matter of curiosity. We will also talk openly about the discrimination, hostility, and hatred that exists so that they will be prepared for a world that is not as accepting as the atmosphere in their home.
 
#44 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie Bugs Mama View Post
I voted "non-plussed," even though I wouldn't actually be shocked/confused/dumbfounded, which is what the word means to me. The only reason that I didn't vote "thrilled" is because I can't imagine caring that much about dd's sexual orientation. I wouldn't be "thrilled" if she were gay, straight, bi, ect. I would just be accepting.
This is exactly how I feel. This is sort of one of those things that just.. is. There's nothing to happy, excited, angry, confused, whatever over. It just is. The important thing is that she's happy, loved, supported and accepted. And she is.


I haven't been in TAO in a few days, but can someone point me in the direction of the thread that this spun off of?
 
#49 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
I wouldn't wish any of the baggage and bs that comes with partnering with men on my kids.
Here we go with the blanket man-hating statements.
Some of the nastiest people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing were women, but I wouldn't go so far as to wish a certain sexual orientation on my child to avoid "the baggage and BS that comes with partnering with women".

I don't want my child to be hurt by bad PEOPLE.
 
#50 ·
That's ridiculous. If you look at the statistical evidence regarding violent crime, particularly domestic violence, it's overwhelmingly men who do the violence. And that doesn't begin to get in to how women who partner with men are statistically more likely to have negative feelings about their bodies, do more than their fair share of housework, etc.

I don't make this stuff up.
 
#51 ·
I voted "nonplussed" (and I take nonplussed to mean "I don't care and I'm not shocked.").
Honestly, I kind of giggled at the "thrilled" answer, because I put it in the context of "Would I be thrilled if I discover my children are all straight?" Heck no! It wouldn't occur to me to be "thrilled" at the sexual preference of my kids any more than it would occur to me to be "thrilled" with what color hair they ended up with, or if they were right vs. left handed. It is what it is.

PS - Totally NOT making fun of the poll. Just the context my own twisted brain put it in.
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