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Making a decision to become house poor?

4K views 86 replies 50 participants last post by  yitlan 
#1 ·
We are thinking about doing this. We live in an okay house in an neighborhood that could be better (though it could be worse) some of our schools are okay and some are really a problem. Now that things are costing less we are considering selling our house and buying one in a better area...it will completely change our money situation though. We really don't struggle here and would struggle if we move - that beng said we will probably have to send the kids to private school if we stay here (also creating a struggle at some point...)

Has anybody been in a pretty comfortable housing situation and changed it up for longer term goals? Is this stupid?
 
#52 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
We are thinking about doing this. We live in an okay house in an neighborhood that could be better (though it could be worse) some of our schools are okay and some are really a problem. Now that things are costing less we are considering selling our house and buying one in a better area...it will completely change our money situation though. We really don't struggle here and would struggle if we move - that beng said we will probably have to send the kids to private school if we stay here (also creating a struggle at some point...)

Has anybody been in a pretty comfortable housing situation and changed it up for longer term goals? Is this stupid?

One thing that stands out is private school, many have scholarship funds making tution a no-cost to the parents. Scholarships can be academic, athletic, financial etc and are offered by the school as well as other organizations. YOu just have to be determined to go out and look for the $$
 
#53 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by PenelopeJune View Post
I realize it's none of my business, but I really hope you don't do it. I mean it when I say if I could go back in time I'd kick my own butt. Hard. And maybe break my hands so I couldn't sign anything.

Oh. I wish we got do-overs.
s:
 
#55 ·
one thing you could do, when you want to change to a better school, is rent out the house you now own, and rent a little house in your dream school district. The advantage is that you will be able to follow the best school and can move back to your current home after your children are grown. If the idea of moving from a rental back to where you are now is too horrible to consider then yeah maybe you should sell it.
 
#56 ·
Not to belabor a point, but everyone is talking about schools as if that were the be-all end-all reason for living in a nicer area. For us it had more to do with a general quality of life.

We now live in a much more expensive area, but we know almost every.single.person on our block -- and they know our kid. We get together with our next door neighbors for cookouts in the summer and inside for dinner in the winter. The park is only a few blocks away, and the parents there are NOT smoking and swearing, and the kids are (in general) not playing aggressively. The local library's children's area is NOT playing TV constantly. We can walk everywhere. We have lots of friends within walking distance.

And...we're planning on homeschooling. People think we're crazy for paying so much in property taxes without taking advantage of the great school system, but we didn't move here for the schools.
 
#57 ·
I love MDC - people have such creative ways of approaching these sorts of situations! I thought I would offer you all an update, but also respond to some of your thoughtful comments...

The average amount of time that a well-priced house is on the market in my neighborhood (even in this economy) is 5 months, so we are really trying to think through if we want to put the house on the market this spring or in a few years. I agree that it seems like there should be a jump between 25% and 65% but we have not found one where we would get stronger schools and a nicer house....we sort of feel like if we are going to go through all the work of moving we should wait until we can get what we want.

I get that renting would probably make sense in lots of parts of the county, but it wouldn't make sense for us here. We would literally be paying more to live in a smaller place. I would rather stay here a couple years longer and only move my kids once during their school years - the elementary school is good and my kids are very happy there and part of my motivation for moving is to do it before the kids get too old because our life has a very temporary feel to it here, I think renting would exacerbate that...

I think saving for private school is sort of an interesting concept, but without inflation it would cost us $240,000 to send all of our kids to private high school. It seems like paying for private high school would cost as much or more than moving or more without as many benefits to our overall quality of life.

So after reading your great advice, personal stories and lots of hashing it out with my husband. We are going to do the work we need to do on the house to sell it - we can enjoy it while we live here regardless. Instead of just doing freelance work, I am going to look for pt work that we can incorporate into our budget. We are going to continue to watch the market and figure out when is the right time to get the best deal.

Anyway, I wanted to say thanks to all of you for helping me think this out, reading my long rambling posts and sharing your personal stories. I think in the end we know where we want to live (not just for the schools, but also for ourselves). We shouldn't panic into moving there when we can't afford it, but we also want to have a plan in place so we can afford to go when the opportunity arises.
 
#58 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post

I think saving for private school is sort of an interesting concept, but without inflation it would cost us $240,000 to send all of our kids to private high school. It seems like paying for private high school would cost as much or more than moving or more without as many benefits to our overall quality of life.
Have you considered Catholic School? I imagine the cost of living where you live (DC) is roughly comparable to where I live (Manhattan/NYC). Here private schools run $25,000-$35,000 a year, but Catholic schools are just a fraction of that in the $2,000-$7,000 range.

You do not have to be Catholic to attend. I'm a happy non-Catholic school graduate and I would guess that roughly 1/3 of the kids I went to school with also were not Catholic. It wasn't a big deal.

Here for the most part, the $25,000-$35,000 private schools are where the celebs and CEOs send their kids. The middle class use Catholic schools, and the lower class sends their kids to public schools.
 
#60 ·
Does your state (don't know if you are in MD, VA or what)? have open enrollement?

Most of the midwest does and you can enroll your child a district other than the one you live in if you want (you are on the hook to transport them yourself).

If the good school distict in a sane drive away it might be a good choice. Or is there a magnet high school that would be safer?
 
#61 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post
We actually are Catholic - the cost of K-8 for the Catholic School at our church is about what you said, but the local Catholic High Schools I priced were about $15,000 - $20,000 per kid per year. I was pretty surprised myself...
Holy Cow! Are you sure you're not looking at an independent PRIVATE school that just happens to offer Catholic religious instruction as opposed to a Catholic PAROCHIAL school connected to the archdiocese? There's a big difference. Here, independent schools with Catholic religious instruction are part of the New York State Association of Independent Schools while the Archdiocese (i.e. Catholic Church) runs the Parochial schools.

Here in NYC:

Cathedral High School (Parochial, Archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$6,025
St. Jean Baptiste High School (Parochial, Archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$6,450

Covent of the Sacred Heart (Independent, private school with Catholic Instruction, NOT connected to archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$30,000.
Loyola High School (Independent, private school with Catholic Instruction, NOT connected to archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$25,680

The Archdiocese here will advertise and promote all schools that provide a Catholic education, but they are only in charge of the Parochial ones. The private ones run themselves with no input from the Church with regards to curriculum. There is a HUGE price difference between the two.

In my non-Catholic opinion, the Catholic Church does an excellent job educating kids, far better than the city.

Hope I didn't get too complicated.
 
#62 ·
We are in Maryland and we do not have open enrollment. I have to say that even if we did, I would have to move before the kids were in high school for MY WELL-BEING. I can stick it out in this neighborhood for a few more years for the sake of the kids because the elementary school is good and all that, but schools aside, dh and are are really unhappy here for ourselves. It actually makes me really depressed to live here and I am a pretty happy person who has been able to make the best of lots of different places, (Chicago, DC, Kentucky, West Virginia, Peru, DC, and other parts of Maryland). We will move - it is just a question of when and to where.
 
#63 ·
KateKat - Sorry I cross-posted. Now that is a good question, I am not sure if they are affiliated or what the actual arrangement is? We are pretty far out in the suburbs and I checked the 8 schools that I have heard of people around here sending their kids to for high school and that is what I came up with...there are schools farther away, but for my initial research I pretty much limited to the ones that all the kids around here seem to go to (for carpooling, social, distance reasons, etc.)

Anyway, fabulous questions. I will do more research!!!
 
#65 ·
No it's not "smart", but honestly you seem to have the best hold financially of anyone I have ever seen who did it.

Fix your house, put it for sale, let the kids finish the school year. Save up more and make it 12 months EF for the NEW place.

You only live once. Happiness is worth it. Make sure you have life insurance to cover it. And keep your eyes PEELED for better deals in AND around your "ideal". Get a home warranty and an EXCELLENT home inspection.

Have a plan B for if hubby's work changes or something "bad" happens.

Good luck.
 
#66 ·
Ours was:

stay in our house and put kids in private school

or

move and put our kids in public school

We chose to move. The education is just as good and we have the house of our dreams, for the same price.

We are beyond happy.
 
#67 ·
Here in the Chicago area, Catholic K-8 is about 2K-4K per child depending on school and parish. Catholic HS is 9K-14K depending on the school. That is just tuition though. If you child does a sport or dance team etc add another 5K per year per child. Also add all the fundraising you have to do for any Catholic education and involvement in the school and church.
 
#70 ·
We are very house poor right now because we own a house and then bought a property that we plan to build on. We are handling 2 mortgages and are self financing the construction as much as possible. But we went into it with a LOT of savings. My DH's business is always on the verge of collapse so it is nerve wrecking at times. But I am also enjoying the challenge. We never had to think much about our spending before and now we do. I have cut our budget to a minimum in every area other than house payments. The property we bought is awesome and we love spending time there. Once the house is built and we sell this one, I can go back to work (until then I will be the general contractor for our home construction) and things will be a little better. I would much rather have our dream house than waste my $$ on cable TV, eating out, or buying crap I don't need. But if we didn't start with a big down payment, lots of savings, and equity in our current house I would not have done it.
 
#72 ·
Funny...since it is the weekend my husband took a few minutes to read this thread and pointed out that I have overstated how big of a jump it would be...

He pointed out that our current mortgage is actually about 40% of our take home pay since we have so much automatically deducted for savings. It would be 25% of our new take home pay. We currently never feel tight and feel like we have saved enough to take a break for a few years...

Anyway, I think consensus would probably still be that we shouldn't do it right now, but he pointed out that my math is fuzzy


straighthaircurly - I am with you in that we would rather have the home that we want than extra opportunities to eat out, buy stuff, etc. We aren't really consumers and only buy things we need, more because of who we are than because of $. We also have a ton of savings (probably because we don't enjoy spending money on anything except travel...)

Anyway, we are looking at some different options based on feedback here, but my husband agreed with several posters about the issue really being if the budget is doable rather than what % of our income it would be right now...
 
#74 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by KateKat View Post
Have you considered Catholic School? I imagine the cost of living where you live (DC) is roughly comparable to where I live (Manhattan/NYC). Here private schools run $25,000-$35,000 a year, but Catholic schools are just a fraction of that in the $2,000-$7,000 range.

You do not have to be Catholic to attend. I'm a happy non-Catholic school graduate and I would guess that roughly 1/3 of the kids I went to school with also were not Catholic. It wasn't a big deal.

Here for the most part, the $25,000-$35,000 private schools are where the celebs and CEOs send their kids. The middle class use Catholic schools, and the lower class sends their kids to public schools.
Catholic high schools in my area are 15k+/year (one is $24k, I believe), which is better than $35k but still $$$.
 
#75 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by KateKat View Post
Holy Cow! Are you sure you're not looking at an independent PRIVATE school that just happens to offer Catholic religious instruction as opposed to a Catholic PAROCHIAL school connected to the archdiocese? There's a big difference. Here, independent schools with Catholic religious instruction are part of the New York State Association of Independent Schools while the Archdiocese (i.e. Catholic Church) runs the Parochial schools.

Here in NYC:

Cathedral High School (Parochial, Archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$6,025
St. Jean Baptiste High School (Parochial, Archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$6,450

Covent of the Sacred Heart (Independent, private school with Catholic Instruction, NOT connected to archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$30,000.
Loyola High School (Independent, private school with Catholic Instruction, NOT connected to archdiocese) - Yearly tuition=$25,680

The Archdiocese here will advertise and promote all schools that provide a Catholic education, but they are only in charge of the Parochial ones. The private ones run themselves with no input from the Church with regards to curriculum. There is a HUGE price difference between the two.

In my non-Catholic opinion, the Catholic Church does an excellent job educating kids, far better than the city.

Hope I didn't get too complicated.
My husband and I both work for Catholic high schools (actually, one diocesan and one not) and there's a little misinformation here. What you're calling "private with Catholic instruction" are schools run by6 particular Catholic orders (so most definitely still Catholic schools). Loyola, for example, is a Catholic, Jesuit school.
 
#76 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jennybear View Post
My husband and I both work for Catholic high schools (actually, one diocesan and one not) and there's a little misinformation here. What you're calling "private with Catholic instruction" are schools run by6 particular Catholic orders (so most definitely still Catholic schools). Loyola, for example, is a Catholic, Jesuit school.
There's no misinformation.

Loyola is an independent private school that is NOT run by the archdiocese. Admission is granted through ISEE/SSAT standardized testing, which is the same test used to determine admission to the other independent private schools that have no religious association, like Dalton, Horace Mann, and Riverdale Country Day. The ISEE/SSAT is also used to determine admissions to other PRIVATE schools with non-Catholic religious instruction. Trinity (EPOSCIPAL) requires it. Friends Seminary (Quaker) also requires it.

Admissions to the high schools that are part of the archdiocese is done through the COOP examination and the COOP is only used for Archdiocese Catholic School admission.

Religious orders has nothing to do with anything. St. Vincent Ferrer (CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE) is under the Dominican Order. Xavier High School (CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE) is under the Jesuit Order. Loyola High School, while Jesuit like Xavier, is NOT an archdiocese school run by the Catholic Church. It is an independent PRIVATE school.
 
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