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Please help-post 15-he's at it again.-update 80, 96

9K views 118 replies 46 participants last post by  MG01 
#1 ·
Ex has just informed me that he's going to be keeping ds until 7pm tonight. Our court order has him keeping ds until 3pm, at which time we meet and exchange ds. I told him that bedtime was unacceptable because we meet 2 hours (half-way) away from my house and tomorrow is a work/daycare day. Plus I haven't seen ds (or nursed him! Ouch!) in two days and I'd like to have some of my own time before bed. He said that He'll be there at 7 no matter what, and that's his right as ds' parent.

I called the police to get their input and they said this is a civil issue and all I can do is file papers to the court because he will be in contempt of orders.

Is there anything I can do? It's 17 degrees outside and will just get colder as night falls. I'm extremely upset that he's doing this. Part of me is inclined to just not show up. Then he'll have to either a) drive ds to my house and save me the gas or b) keep ds and violate the order even further (which he wouldn't do because he has to work and has no childcare tomorrow.)

Suggestions?
 
#102 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysByMySide View Post
And your attorney is a big fat UAV, by the way.
Wow, I couldn't agree more.

I'm sorry things have taken such a stinky turn! Hopefully you can now get a new attorney who actually cares about her clients and doing her job well. Definitely file for that continuance, the fact that your attorney has withdrawn should be a valid enough reason for the judge to put off your trial so that a new attorney can get up to speed on your case.

Good luck.
 
#103 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by TearyCloud View Post
Last week I called my attorney and told her that as soon as I got the police report, she needed to pursue contempt charges since he violated our court order. She said ok, but she didn't think it would help. I just got the police report this morning, so nothing has been filed yet.

On my way to work today, I checked my email. My attorney sent me a letter stating that she was going to be officially withdrawing from my case as of today and she gave me phone numbers of other attorneys that she thought were good. She said she wants to shift her focus to other things, and so now I don't even have an attorney. Trial is in Four weeks and ex isn't trying to work things out and settle before trial. I am screwed.

The waitlist for pro bono in my area is about 8-12 months according to the bar association who helps with this kind of thing. I am at a total loss right now. I can not go to trial unrepresented. I can't believe my attorney bailed out right before trial. The chances of finding someone that I can afford, who will be available on such short notice, is not good.

Tell your attorney that officially you won't accept her withdrawel unless she also files for a continuance so that you have time to find a new attorney and bring that attorney up to speed at the same time.

She simply cannot withdraw from the case 4 weeks before a trial. You could report her to the Bar Association for this type of unethical behavior.

You are probably better off finding another attorney, anyway. It doesn't sound like she is really willing to fight for you. Which is her job.
 
#104 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodmom2008 View Post
Tell your attorney that officially you won't accept her withdrawel unless she also files for a continuance so that you have time to find a new attorney and bring that attorney up to speed at the same time.

She simply cannot withdraw from the case 4 weeks before a trial. You could report her to the Bar Association for this type of unethical behavior.
whew!! i am glad to hear this. i just couldnt imagine she could just get away with withdrawing. it doesnt seem right or fair.
 
#105 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodmom2008 View Post
Tell your attorney that officially you won't accept her withdrawel unless she also files for a continuance so that you have time to find a new attorney and bring that attorney up to speed at the same time.

She simply cannot withdraw from the case 4 weeks before a trial. You could report her to the Bar Association for this type of unethical behavior.

You are probably better off finding another attorney, anyway. It doesn't sound like she is really willing to fight for you. Which is her job.
Needed to be repeated again. I didn't even think of this. GREAT advice.
 
#107 ·
Thank you so much for the suggestions/advice. I did file for a continuance and got a new date for March. That is still not that far away, though. The state has a pro-bono referral service and the waiting list is 8 months... So I've been calling around to attorneys and asking them if they will do pro-bono... they said I have to get on the waiting list from the state. There is one firm who hasn't yet said no, and there's an attorney there that I've spoken with before who gave me great advice on how to handle my own attorney at the time... I am REALLY hoping that he'll call me back to work something out. I actually wanted to switch to him about a year ago and he wasn't available, so hopefully he will do pro-bono even though I'm not on the waiting list.

I feel sick. My attorney never filed to hold my ex in contempt after keeping ds, so that's still waiting... I know that I can file, but his attorney is a shark and will hit back harder than I can. I don't even understand why we are going to trial since we were never married and he's no longer looking for full custody.

So I guess I wait for now. Not much else I can do.
 
#108 ·
Your entire situation has shocked me from the start. Is this still the same GAL? I would report her to every person i could and it sounds like it is time to report your attorney also. I pray someone can help you so that your babe can get what he needs and deserves. This whole situation is so wrong. I too have lost a lot of faith in the "system".
 
#109 ·
You asked your attorney to file for contempt before she withdrew from your case. I'd send her an email or call her and let her know that you intend to file a legal malpractice lawsuit if she does not file that contempt action. PERIOD.

Does she plan to refund you for all/any work she did in preparation for the trial?

FYI - you can always file for another continuance. I had a CPS case that was "continued" for more than 6 months.
Every time we went in to court, one side or another would ask for a continuance.
 
#110 ·
I still don't have an attorney. I have called everyone. Everyone. There is no attorney, shady or honest, that I haven't tried. No one wants to take my case. Ex's attorney filed a motion to deny continuance if my attorneys w/d is granted. So that will likely happen. I'm overwhelmed and exhausted and I think ds feels my stress. I need a break from this.
 
#111 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by TearyCloud View Post
I still don't have an attorney. I have called everyone. Everyone. There is no attorney, shady or honest, that I haven't tried. No one wants to take my case. Ex's attorney filed a motion to deny continuance if my attorneys w/d is granted. So that will likely happen. I'm overwhelmed and exhausted and I think ds feels my stress. I need a break from this.
No, the motion to deny the continuance won't be accepted. You have the LEGAL right to have an attorney. And any decision or ruling made in the abscence of an attorney representing you when you made it clear that you wanted an attorney to represent, you just needed more time to obtain one.

In the meantime, go into research mode. Google how to type up a contempt motion (which you need for your stbx's blatent disregard of the court order), go to court for a day (you will need to get a babysitter for this) and sit in on several family court hearings (criminal ones aren't going to help you learn what you need to about the family court). This way, you will get an idea of what is expected and how to handle yourself.

I would also find out where to report your attorney for her unethical behavior. She sounds like a father's rights attorney, which is fine as long as you don't let it interfere with representing your female clients. Which she is.
 
#112 ·
It is bizarre to me that nobody will take your case. Family law attorneys make ridiculous amounts of money on cases like these. My case was a doozy, and I had several attorneys who would have been happy to take my money. Are they telling you why they won't take your case? There has to be a reason.

On what grounds did ex's attorney file a motion to deny continuance? What does the motion say?

Has your previous attorney handed over all of your case files and her prep for trial? (Did she do anything to prep for trial?) Why exactly are you going to trial in the first place?

To the pp, can one actually go to a court and sit in on family court hearings? The only place I've done family court was in Hawaii, and all of the hearings were in closed off, tiny court rooms, with only maybe 8 or 10 chairs, that were usually filled up with legal aides or witnesses. And they had to announce everyone that was in the room, and they are all listed in all of my court orders.
 
#113 ·
Are you asking for paid services or pro bono services? This is one of those things that unfortunately you'll likely have to pay for.

Do you have a friend of the court? Their job is enforcing orders and they might be able to help too.
 
#114 ·
Sadly, there is no right to counsel in divorce proceedings (or in most any civil legal proceedings) in any state in the country. Nor is there such a thing as "friends of the court" who enforce court orders on a standing basis.

Current atty's motion to withdraw may be unethical (report to state bar) and may be denied. However, all she has then is an unwilling atty. Better would be for atty to refund retainer so OP can retain someone new. OP, I would immediately call the state bar assn & ask their help in getting your retainer refunded so you can timely hire someone else.
 
#115 ·
I will not get a continuance. This has been made clear by every attorney in the phone book. My attorney submitter her withdrawal on the grounds that *I* asked her to withdraw. So the court will probably grant it since they think it was my choice.

I can't afford any kind of attorney. Many lawyers have told me they wouldn't take the case even if I had the retainer. It's too far along and it's too messy. I was told by one lawyer "no attorney in their right mind would take this case!"

From the attorneys who were willing to take it, their range of retainer was from 7-10k. I can't afford groceries and I don't know how I'll pay my rent this month, so I certainly can't pay that.
 
#116 ·
On what grounds did ex's attorney file a motion to deny continuance? What does the motion say?

Has your previous attorney handed over all of your case files and her prep for trial? (Did she do anything to prep for trial?) Why exactly are you going to trial in the first place? I mean, we can tell you all day long to find another attorney, but if it's so messy that "no attorney in their right mind would take it", there has to be a reason why.

I was told from the get-go with my case that if it went to trial, it would cost $10K minimum. We never made it to trial, and I spent well over $25K. It went on credit cards...I had no other choice.

I would echo a previous poster in that you need to contact your state bar association. Does your attorney have anything from you in writing that indicates that you asked her to withdraw? If not, that, along with not filing for contempt like you asked her to, is grounds for legal malpractice.

Have you been in touch with the GAL regarding any of this?
 
#117 ·
good luck, make sure you find out how to legally complain about everything so all your concerns are on the record. Especially about your atty withdrawing and also if they don't give you a continuance.

Do you have parents, grandparents or other relatives or a church you can ask for some help?

If you go to trial without an attorney make sure to complain politely at every opportunity that you need an attorney and figure out how to attemt to represent yourself. THere is probably a website or library books that will help. Don't give up keep trying.
 
#118 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by TearyCloud View Post
I will not get a continuance. This has been made clear by every attorney in the phone book. My attorney submitter her withdrawal on the grounds that *I* asked her to withdraw. So the court will probably grant it since they think it was my choice.

I can't afford any kind of attorney. Many lawyers have told me they wouldn't take the case even if I had the retainer. It's too far along and it's too messy. I was told by one lawyer "no attorney in their right mind would take this case!"

From the attorneys who were willing to take it, their range of retainer was from 7-10k. I can't afford groceries and I don't know how I'll pay my rent this month, so I certainly can't pay that.
There's one way to correct the court's assumption that you asked her to. And that is to let the court know that SHE stated she was dropping you when you asked her to file a contempt of court motion because your stbx is not following the court order. You didn't ask her to withdraw in the middle of a divorce without an alternate attorney lined up. You don't want it on record that you asked her to withdraw without your rebuttal, because then it will be hard to pursue ethical charges against her.

Now it's time to go into research mode. You can start here:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...vorce&aq=f&oq=

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/y...s/a/pro_se.htm
 
#119 ·
I am so sorry this is happening!! I know it must seem overwhelming, but please don't let this go without a fight. It is clear that this is not right, and the only way the record will be corrected is if you make clear what has been going on. Please hang in there for you and your little one! I don' know much about the legal workings of something like this, but pps seem to have some good advice, if you have other questions, ask! I know that there are lots of knowledgeable mamas here. Do you have good documentation? If not, go back, try to get dates/times if you can, and summarize any events/emails/calls that occurred, in regard to your son not being returned, your request to file contempt, and your attorney's withdrawal. Print out any and all emails related to this with dates/times. And I know time is of the essence here with the trial coming up- so raise h#11 and make clear that you did not ask your attorney to withdraw, and that all you asked was for contempt to be filed- and follow through until it happens! Please hang in there and lots of
your way! Keep us posted..
 
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