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Will using an "out there" name hurt my child?

5K views 114 replies 82 participants last post by  Talula Fairie 
#1 ·
I've been on two name boards now, (full of very traditional people), and they say my name choices will hurt my child and cause lots of teasing in school, etc. Though I'm tough-skinned enough to not be hurt by this, it does make me wonder if I should rethink my names (especially my girl name)

One, I'm going to homeschool, so I really hate the reasoning that they will get teased in school, since they won't be going to school! and Two, I have an unusual name and while I don't really like it, I don't feel it hurt me in any way. I have a crazy spelling for my name, and all my name choices are fairly easy and straightforward in their spellings as a result of this.

Are my name choices bad or will they hurt my children? What do you think about them?

We are thinking of Fable for a girl. I feel it is unheard of for a name, but it's a commonly known word that sounds very much like common names Mabel and Fay. It's short, easily spelled, and not really that crazy in my opinion. I adore it's meaning (A story conveying a moral). We were thinking of Fable Tara Virginia or Fable Tara Bluebird (Tara and Virginia are dear family names, and Bluebird is highly signifcant for me). Our backup name is Beatrix, but we are pretty set on Fable. (And really people use Story, Lyric, River, Harmony, Destiny, I don't see these names as any different!)

For a boy, we are leaning towards Zeplin. (I know the band spells it Led Zeppelin, but I like it a it more simple in spelling). Our other top choices are Malcolm and Wynn. The combo will be Zeplin/Malcolm/Wynn Alexander Clint.

Opinions? (And don't worry about offending me, unless you're mean, my feelings don't get hurt very easily!)
 
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#77 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Channelle View Post
Gah, you can't steal my baybee's nayme!!!1! (Ah, it's ok!)
You're too gracious. I'm actually done having kids - but my two girls are Zoë & Rue, and we get slack for my younger dd's name all the time.

It's Rue - like the flower.
 
#78 ·
I believe in weird names...with a passion. My husband and I are thinking of weird names for our children. Well, our baby. This is our first and we don't want something that everyone else has. However, I think our first daughter's name will be increasingly common, but we love the name too much. I like Fable very much. Zeplin is not bad either. The link between the hindenberg had me puzzled so I looked it up..."The disaster of the Hindenburg happened on 6 May, 1937. The LZ-129 Zeppelin Hindenburg exploded in mid-air killing 34 people." (http://www.essortment.com/all/hinden...rdac.htm)...so that's why. But, I don't see anything wrong with it..more people will link it with the band versus the hindenberg.

Kids will tease each other for no reason. I was teased in middle school because I was a tomboy and didn't wear makeup. In highschool it was because I was too polite and was a virgin..so, kids will tease for any reason. They made fun off my last name too OLZER..i always got ulcer or something else..

Please, don't listen to other people, do what you feel is best for your kids. They will appreciate a unique name once they see everyone else has the same names as each other.
 
#80 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam View Post
This is a good example. When you know nothing about someone and are trying to decide to hire them (whether as an employee or a doctor or what have you) you only have what's on a piece of paper. I've skipped over doctors because of their sex (male gynecologists scare me), therapists because of names (I have some serious family abuse issues and I know from personal experience that certain cultures are more supportive of family abuse than others), and other professionals because of stated interests. The fact of the matter is that often in this society we have to go by at a glance impressions and can't really look at the whole person.
This kind of attitude will not be able to be sustained for much longer, as we become more and more multicultural and multiracial.

If you saw my name on an insurance panel list of providers (of which I am, by the way), you would never know that I am a multicultural, biracial woman. Both my maiden and married names do not give away the fact that I am 1/2 Asian. If you saw my maiden name, you would assume that I was of Irish descent, and my married name screams "blue blood".

I guess you would have been confused, walking in to my office, because I don't "look like" my name.


Anyways, I'm kind of shocked at people even equating ethnic names as being "weird".

OP, Fable is a beautiful name. I actually kind of like Zeplin too, although the connotations that PP's have mentioned are definitely something to consider.

I have a common name (well, it's a very common 70's name), and growing up, I always wanted to change it to a "weird" name. Ariadne was at the top of my list (I used to be really into Greek mythology).

For DD's name, we crossed off anything that was in the top 200. Which is funny because we not only have another little girl in our circle of friends that has the same name (spelled differently but pronounced the same), as well as a little boy who has the very unusual name that we had picked if she had been a boy.
 
#81 ·
I would not use Zeplin because it makes me think of the Hindenburg and the blimp and the (totally cheesy) band. But I do LOVE Fable.
 
#83 ·
I love your name choices. I also received the "could it be a president/judge" criticism over my name choices for a girl and may I point out that leaders of state and judges are officially called by their last names, not first. It isn't President Barack, it's President Obama.
 
#85 ·
I don't think there is anything wrong with unusual names, but Fable and Zeplin aren't unusual names, they are nouns, still in use in the language with no real history as names. Word names are common in many cultures, but the problem with them is that they often have very diverse connotations. So while you might think of Fable as "A story with a moral" your daughter may wonder why you named her something that means "a lie" as well. You can use a word as a name, but all the connotations of that word come with it.

Similarly, a Zeppelin is a gas filled bag of hot air. You might not associate it with the Hindenburg but rather with the band, but the band chose the name because they associated it with blimps.

I wouldn't worry much about teasing but rather what your children will think about their own names and what you thought about naming them. If you still think you want to use them, try living with them yourself for a few days. One test that is often suggested, go to starbucks and order a coffee under that name, do you feel ridiculous or is it fun to use the name, do you get peels of laughter, or a compliment or just your coffee? Try using the name when you order a pizza on the phone, do you have to spell it three times? Yell it out the door calling the children for dinner. Try it plugged into a wedding announcement, resume, business card. If it works in all those ways than consider it as a name you can give.

I think its fine to give unsual names, (two of my children have extremely unusual names) and I have a certain fondness for some word names (especially nature names) but I think they usually work better in the middle name spot because of the diverse connotations and the pressure to "live up to them". (I personally would not want to be a "story with a moral")

If they are first names they should be first names that you'd be happy to use yourself, think of all of the ways you use your name every day, can the names you have picked be used in all those ways? I think too often parents forget that the little sweet baby will grow to be an adult and this name belongs to them, not to you.

For both of these the meanings would steer me away from using them as first names no matter how much I liked them. (and I do think Fable is pretty) In the end its your choice, and at first you will be the one to use it every day, so you do need to love it, but keep in mind that you aren't the one who will keep it for life.

Some random alternatives:

Zeplin: Zephyr, Zephanaiah called Zephan (or just go with Zephan), Steffan, Stellan, Zohar, Zahir, Zaid

Fable: Faye (or Faie for an old fashioned spelling) Faina (fa-ee-na) (or the greek myth name Phaenna) Sharazad (a teller of stories) or any one of a lot of wonderful story heroine names.
 
#86 ·
What a thoughtful and well-written post, Erica! Thank you for it (we'll soon be thinking of names for our little bean too. To the OP, I like the sound of Fable, but I would personally go for something else rather than both those names for reasons that Erica and some other PPs have mentioned.
 
#87 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
I wouldn't worry much about teasing but rather what your children will think about their own names and what you thought about naming them. If you still think you want to use them, try living with them yourself for a few days. One test that is often suggested, go to starbucks and order a coffee under that name, do you feel ridiculous or is it fun to use the name, do you get peels of laughter, or a compliment or just your coffee? Try using the name when you order a pizza on the phone, do you have to spell it three times? Yell it out the door calling the children for dinner. Try it plugged into a wedding announcement, resume, business card. If it works in all those ways than consider it as a name you can give.
...
If they are first names they should be first names that you'd be happy to use yourself, think of all of the ways you use your name every day, can the names you have picked be used in all those ways? I think too often parents forget that the little sweet baby will grow to be an adult and this name belongs to them, not to you.
This is such good advice. My daughter has a very unusual name, and though I love it sometimes I think it's just not worth it that I have to explain it to everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Every little old lady I meet who says "Oh she's so cute! What's her name?" Every mom at the park that I'm making small talk with. Repeat name. No, not (very common name that doesn't actually sound all that similar). Repeat name. Spell name. No, it's not a family name. It's the name of a character in literature. And by this point, I'm thinking "Jeez, what an affected name. Why didn't I just name her the common name that everyone thinks she's named anyway?"

I'm not saying I would have named her something else if I thought of all this, but at the very least it would have given me pause. I think it is a good idea to think of all the throwaway times we use our names, and all that can go wrong. My DH has an unusual name coupled with an accent, so when he calls for takeout he uses his middle name. I know he wishes his parents had named him something "normal." I hope that my DD grows to love her unusual name, but if she doesn't we gave her a simple middle name that she can always go by.
 
#88 ·
Quote:
Results indicated that Common names were seen as least unique
Ya don't say!

Zeplin reminded me of Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Or Zefram Cochrane from Star Trek. Z-names just seem scifi to me... not that that has to be a bad thing (she says, having considered Jean-Luc for a boy).

Fable isn't really my thing either - too pretty-pretty for my not-very-girly taste - but I do like the sound of it. I'm worried it'd be prone to misspelling though - Fabel? Faybelle? Faible? What would you think about choosing Fae/Faye for the actual name and using Fable as the nickname?

Anyway, though neither name is to my taste, I've heard far worse. I used to work at a school, and raised my eyebrows at weird names on the cloakroom pegs a dozen times a day.
 
#92 ·
I think the primary meaning of Fable is "a story with a moral." Sure, it can also mean a falsehood. But there are tons of more traditional names out there that don't mean very nice things. I knew a girl in high school named Trista, and thought it was a pretty name. I was surprised to learn that it means "woman of sorrow."

My grandfather's name was Cecil, which means "blind." My son's name is Jakob. Along with the gazillion other Jacobs/Jakobs in the USA, his name basically means "tyrant." Not exactly a sweet connotation.

I like Fable. Zeplin is okay but I don't really dig that particular spelling.

Someone mentioned that unusual names are okay if they aren't ridiculous. I agree. I have an unusual AND ridiculous first name, and it was pure hell growing up. I legally changed my name when I was 15. I tend to think that "Bluebird" falls into the unusual and ridiculous category. My son was in a martial arts class a few years back with a boy named Thriller. I thought to myself that that poor kid certainly needs to take a self-defense class.
 
#93 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Channelle View Post
I've been on two name boards now, (full of very traditional people), and they say my name choices will hurt my child and cause lots of teasing in school, etc. Though I'm tough-skinned enough to not be hurt by this, it does make me wonder if I should rethink my names (especially my girl name)

Opinions? (And don't worry about offending me, unless you're mean, my feelings don't get hurt very easily!)
This thread is quite long, but I wanted to respond to the OP. I grew up totally mainstream (in the Valley, as in Valley Girl) with the name Jordana. It's unusual, and pretty darn annoying - no one can spell it right if they hear it, and no one can pronounce it right if it's spelled out for them. I really don't like introducing myself because I get the same "huh, what, can you repeat that (several times) and then people still get it wrong.

That being said, I was never teased for having an unusual name. I don't like my name and would love to throttle my mother for giving me such a difficult name to deal with, but it didn't hurt me at all, just annoyed me. HTH!
 
#95 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by firewoman View Post
I named my daughter Aoibheann. Fable doesn't seem very far out there to me! At least it is easy to pronounce.

I love Aoibheann (it's pronounced like Eav een or Ee ven, yes?). It is a beautiful name.

I have a Ciarán. Well, I wanted a Ciarán. I compromised with Dh and his name is spelled Kieran. His argument is that we'd spend too much time spelling it for people and no one would know how to pronounce it. Well, I still spend plenty of time spelling and pronouncing it for people.

A good friend of mine named her daughter Caoimhe (Kee vuh). We joke that Kieran and she were made for one another
:.
 
#99 ·
I like both names and very much the spelling you chose for your boy! The thought of lies and blimps would never have come to mind if it wasn't mentioned all over this thread.

For nicknames... I'd probably go with Jay (because of Bluebird) and Zep.
 
#100 ·
I think Fable is adorable. I knew of someone who had a relative with a little one with that name. They called her Fay for short.

Zeplin isn't quite my taste but I don't think it's the worst thing I've ever heard. Wynn and Malcolm are also cute names in my book.

JMO but if you like it, use it. Dh & I have been discussing picking something a little different this time. Like other posters said, if kids don't tease about one thing, it's something else.
 
#101 ·
Thanks everyone for your replies!

We have decided on using Fable, but not Zeplin. Right now our top boy choice is Malcolm (With Wynn as the backup, which I see as totally masculine and male).

I love Fable and I love the meaning. The meaning is not "lie". I have always loved fables. I've always felt they were like stories passed down from our elders to teach a lesson or moral. This oral tradition is very important in many cultures, including my own. I have never, not once, read or listened to a fable from my grandmother and thought that it was a lie, instead it was a great way to get across a moral in a more loving way then to just be told how to act. They are a loving, fun, and gentle way to teach someone how they should act, while still allowing them the freedom to discover the moral for themselves and be able to think about it and learn from it.

(ok /rant, sorry about that!).
 
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