I'm open to guidance in this scenario, any ideas on how I could have handled it better.
DS is newly potty learned. He has been having mostly accidents lately, and seems to do well with reminders. I have asked him if he wants to go back to diapers and he has said no, so that's fine. A reminder looks like this "You haven't used the potty in a while, want to try before lunch?" or "If you have to go potty, I can go with you and keep you company." or "You are really into your playtime right now. Can we take a break to use the potty, and I will make sure that toy is still there for you when we get back?" or "It's been a while since you used the potty, if you want to use the potty but don't want to stop playing you could bring that toy with you?" (if its a bigger toy I will even carry it for him). If he doesn't want to go I don't push it, though I admit I have some words running through my mind when he has an accident 5 minutes after a potty suggestion lol. I don't want to pressure him though.
Today he wanted to go with my husband to run errands. I told him I would like him to get dressed and wash his face first - no problem. He did wants to run around and jump on the bed in between, I let him know I want to jump on the bed too and would join him after he got dressed, of course he was welcome to jump on the bed all he wanted. He jumped for a bit, then got dressed, then we jumped some together. So anyway, here he is all ready to go....
I asked if he would like to use the potty before he went, since he hasn't been in awhile and it might be hard to hold it for a long time while with Daddy. He said he didn't have to go. So dad let him know "I wouldn't like pee in my car." and I offered some solutions "Would you like to wear a diaper just this once? bring a towel to sit on? or try to use the potty before we go?" He doesn't talk a great deal, so he didn't have any suggestions of his own to offer, but he agreed to try to use the potty before we go - the underlying issue was he was afraid daddy would leave with out him - and he asked for us to give him 2 minutes and I told him that daddy wouldn't leave without him and that he would wait until he was done trying to go potty. So, he tried to go potty, and he did.
oh, the other thing was - he could still go with daddy even if he didn't use the potty, wear a diaper, or sit on a towel - but DH told him that if he had an accident this time that next time he would want DS to try one of the solutions (trying to go potty, bringing a towel, or another solution) before going with him.
insight and ideas for improvement welcome. I mean, obviously this worked for us, and DS was happy with the arrangement as well, I know I wasn't intending to be coercive, but sharing these examples may give me insight towards other future situations as well... perhaps this was *not* a good example of living consensually, and I could learn something here.