Can you give me some of your thoughts on this analogy I thought of the other day?
First off I want to start with a disclaimer. This is not meant to disparage any mother who had any complications in labor and needed to have interventions in her birth. This is also nothing against mothers who choose drugs in labor for one reason or another. Women should give birth how they feel is right for them. This is only a commentary on society's views about birth.
Here goes:
What if sex were like birth? You could only do it a handful of times in your life. Everyone who had ever done it told you that it was the most excruciating thing ever and the only way to do it was to be numb from the waist down and to leave everything up to the care of "professionals". As a virgin you lived in fear of the big event. But you trusted your "professionals". You made an appointment to have it done, you and your partner showed up. He was also in fear. What if something went wrong and you felt pain or bled? What if the epidural didn't work? When things didn't progress as nature intended with all the professional watching. Drugs were pumped into both of you to speed the progress. The deed would be done but you would never feel anything from it and be glad the ordeal was over.
Birth is like that in our society. Something to be endured, but not rejoiced. What if in the above situation there were no professionals involved. But just the two partners. No fear, no pain, only pleasure and satisfaction. You wanted to tell everyone what happened. But nobody wanted to hear what you had to say. That was something that was kept behind closed doors and no one wanted to know that you felt anything other than agony and fear.
I kind of feel like that regarding birth. After giving birth I feel like a goddess. I could do anything. Birth itself isn't something to be endured but something I enjoyed doing. Nobody believes me or think I'm some sort of masochist. Childbirth virgins live in fear of what will happen to them and these fears are encouraged by the ones who have endured it. Positive stories are actively discouraged.
How many times have you heard these phrases:
Quote:
These things make me sad. Not that interventions are available. I'm glad that we have such tools available for mothers who need them. But that there is such a fear of birth that no one can trust the instincts that are already there.
Thoughts?
First off I want to start with a disclaimer. This is not meant to disparage any mother who had any complications in labor and needed to have interventions in her birth. This is also nothing against mothers who choose drugs in labor for one reason or another. Women should give birth how they feel is right for them. This is only a commentary on society's views about birth.
Here goes:
What if sex were like birth? You could only do it a handful of times in your life. Everyone who had ever done it told you that it was the most excruciating thing ever and the only way to do it was to be numb from the waist down and to leave everything up to the care of "professionals". As a virgin you lived in fear of the big event. But you trusted your "professionals". You made an appointment to have it done, you and your partner showed up. He was also in fear. What if something went wrong and you felt pain or bled? What if the epidural didn't work? When things didn't progress as nature intended with all the professional watching. Drugs were pumped into both of you to speed the progress. The deed would be done but you would never feel anything from it and be glad the ordeal was over.
Birth is like that in our society. Something to be endured, but not rejoiced. What if in the above situation there were no professionals involved. But just the two partners. No fear, no pain, only pleasure and satisfaction. You wanted to tell everyone what happened. But nobody wanted to hear what you had to say. That was something that was kept behind closed doors and no one wanted to know that you felt anything other than agony and fear.
I kind of feel like that regarding birth. After giving birth I feel like a goddess. I could do anything. Birth itself isn't something to be endured but something I enjoyed doing. Nobody believes me or think I'm some sort of masochist. Childbirth virgins live in fear of what will happen to them and these fears are encouraged by the ones who have endured it. Positive stories are actively discouraged.
How many times have you heard these phrases:
Quote:
"There's no medal for natural childbirth" "It doesn't make you a better mother" "No need to make yourself a martyr" "Natural childbirth makes as much sense as natural dentistry" (by a first time mom) "I want my epidural in the eighth month of pregnancy" |
Thoughts?