We took our girls to our local waterpark this afternoon, and dh went to use the restroom. He had to use the one and only stall in the men's room, and a little boy came in who apparently needed to use the stall, too, so he just stood outside the stall waiting for dh to come out (the stall door was closed, of course).
And of course the boy's mom was waiting outside, periodically calling in to ask her son if he was okay -- which dh understood perfectly. He and our older dd have gone on a couple of outings together where she needed to use a public restroom, but he felt she was too old for him to take her with him into the men's room so, like this mom, he'd waited outside the door --
And he'd also told her before she went in that if anyone tried to bother her, to yell for him really loud, and I'm sure if she'd taken a long time, he would've been calling in to ask if she was okay, just like this little boy's mom was doing ...
And the child was answering back that he was fine, so what the mother did when dh came out of the restroom is just inexcusable. Dh comes out (he was the only other person in the restroom, okay?), and this mom yells in there loudly, "Are you OKAY? Did somebody TOUCH you?!"
And the little boy called back "No" (as in no, nobody touched me), which of course was a good thing. But her loudly shouting this was so humiliating to my dh. There were all these people sitting in the picnic area outside the restroom, who looked up and stared at him when the mom said this.
It made him so uncomfortable he wanted to leave the park right away. Which was okay as it had started raining and we would've gone soon anyway.
Anyhow, I'm not trying to make a huge deal over what happened -- but this incident has really driven home to me how weird some people are about suspecting "all" men of being child molesters.
I mean, seriously, if you feel you can't trust your child to know whether or not he's okay in a public restroom -- I mean, if you actually think your child is mixed up enough that he'd be saying, "Yeah, mom, I'm okay," while some strange man was molesting him -- then, seriously, you need to still be taking him into the ladies' room with you. Right?
That's what I'd do if I couldn't trust my child. I mean, dh said the boy looked to be about 8, so I can imagine a boy that age would be embarrassed to have to go to the ladies room -- and of course I think most 8yo's are capable of "knowing" whether they're okay or not.
But since this mother apparently felt a need to get more specific and loudly ask if her son had been "touched" -- maybe he just can't be trusted in the restroom alone, right? Or if SHE'S the one with the prob, maybe she just needs to go with him into the men's room and humiliate herself, rather than humiliating her son by dragging him to the ladies room.
Whether she decides to humiliate herself or her son or both of them -- either of these scenarios would be better than sending him on his own to the men's room, and then humiliating some innocent man who just happened to need to use the restroom a few minutes before her son needed to.
I know, I need to let it go -- but I just thought I'd get the word out to any moms out there who may be paranoid like this mom: This is seriously NOT COOL. Men are going to have to use the restroom, they are people too. You need to find some way to protect your child, that both you and he are comfortable with. And not treat men like criminals for needing to use the restroom.
Okay, vent over. Thanks for listening!
And of course the boy's mom was waiting outside, periodically calling in to ask her son if he was okay -- which dh understood perfectly. He and our older dd have gone on a couple of outings together where she needed to use a public restroom, but he felt she was too old for him to take her with him into the men's room so, like this mom, he'd waited outside the door --
And he'd also told her before she went in that if anyone tried to bother her, to yell for him really loud, and I'm sure if she'd taken a long time, he would've been calling in to ask if she was okay, just like this little boy's mom was doing ...
And the child was answering back that he was fine, so what the mother did when dh came out of the restroom is just inexcusable. Dh comes out (he was the only other person in the restroom, okay?), and this mom yells in there loudly, "Are you OKAY? Did somebody TOUCH you?!"
And the little boy called back "No" (as in no, nobody touched me), which of course was a good thing. But her loudly shouting this was so humiliating to my dh. There were all these people sitting in the picnic area outside the restroom, who looked up and stared at him when the mom said this.
It made him so uncomfortable he wanted to leave the park right away. Which was okay as it had started raining and we would've gone soon anyway.
Anyhow, I'm not trying to make a huge deal over what happened -- but this incident has really driven home to me how weird some people are about suspecting "all" men of being child molesters.
I mean, seriously, if you feel you can't trust your child to know whether or not he's okay in a public restroom -- I mean, if you actually think your child is mixed up enough that he'd be saying, "Yeah, mom, I'm okay," while some strange man was molesting him -- then, seriously, you need to still be taking him into the ladies' room with you. Right?
That's what I'd do if I couldn't trust my child. I mean, dh said the boy looked to be about 8, so I can imagine a boy that age would be embarrassed to have to go to the ladies room -- and of course I think most 8yo's are capable of "knowing" whether they're okay or not.
But since this mother apparently felt a need to get more specific and loudly ask if her son had been "touched" -- maybe he just can't be trusted in the restroom alone, right? Or if SHE'S the one with the prob, maybe she just needs to go with him into the men's room and humiliate herself, rather than humiliating her son by dragging him to the ladies room.
Whether she decides to humiliate herself or her son or both of them -- either of these scenarios would be better than sending him on his own to the men's room, and then humiliating some innocent man who just happened to need to use the restroom a few minutes before her son needed to.
I know, I need to let it go -- but I just thought I'd get the word out to any moms out there who may be paranoid like this mom: This is seriously NOT COOL. Men are going to have to use the restroom, they are people too. You need to find some way to protect your child, that both you and he are comfortable with. And not treat men like criminals for needing to use the restroom.
Okay, vent over. Thanks for listening!