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Bitter Sushi Ladies - June

22K views 581 replies 36 participants last post by  jenger 
#1 ·
Welcome to the May thread, ladies!!!!


Most of us are former ttc 6+ month ladies. And at this point, many of us are at or past 12 months, many have had losses, many are dealing with various forms of infertility, and some are just in a waiting period until they can ttc again.

the name? well... We tend to be a little bitter sometimes. So read with care
. And due to everything, our emotions run a little raw
like sushi. Too many cycles of BFN and CD1 sushi + sake to console ourselves. This ttc business is something that seems to "just happen" for so many... But we just can't get "it" right. So this is where we can "be together", share and express anything.

Some of us have gotten a little quieter lately... There is only so much you can post in the "i want to be pg, but i'm not" category. However we are here in spirit and most likely lurking!



~current bitter sushi ladies~

apricot - ttc since 11/08, m/c 4/09 and ectopic 12/09.

babygrey 31, ttc#3 with endo, pelvic adhesive disease, chronic pelvic pain, one blocked tube

belovedk - mama of 2 (15yo ds, 10yo dd). Wife to one incredible man. Residing in central va. TTC someone new since november 2008, m/c 7/09. An avid bellydancer, and firedancer, who works part time doing hair, and who is giving her loving energy nowadays more toward her dh than ttc.

collieflower- TTC # 2 for a year, with 2 m/c (and another before DC#1)

court - ttc #3 (dh's #1) since 08/08, madly in love with dh and my boys and raising our family in the pacific northwest. Tried 2 iui's, decided to try naturally, against all odds, with male factor for awhile, until moving onto ivf in the distant future.

enigo - has one beautiful son, trying to conceive after three losses


fierbugg - ttc #1 for 9 years, losses 8/00, 5/04, and 1/07. Currently on a ttc break, getting life back in order and awaiting hormone testing to help figure out what's going on!

grahnola mum - loving our wonderful family of me, dh and dd (12/07). Ttc #2 since 11/08 with four losses.

GrapesBunch - TTC #1 since August 2008

hsmamato2 - ttc for over 8 months and appreciative of a space to vent out that bitterness!

iheartmyfamily - ttc #1 for 14 months with one


InWaiting - ttc#1 for 14 months, with one ectopic

jenger - Mama to DD Little Bee (4/10) ttc #2 since August 2009

jenniferadurham ttc #3

justkiya - married to my darling dh for 5.5 years, ttc#1 since march 2007, diagnosed with pcos in 06/08, on metformin since, one cp

kel32brown- kellisue, upstate ny mama, warmly married to farmboy and raising 5 little ones.

Keria- TTC #1 since October 2008.

Kinza- TTC#1 since November 2008, DH with lowish count and Type 1 Diabetes

kparker - waiting to be ready. ttc #1 since 9/08 with male factor, now waiting to start in January with donor sperm!


ladyjools - i'm a 25 year old scottish girl with dh for nearly 6 years and ttc for 5. We lost our baby boy, samson, at 16 weeks in july and are now ttc again.

Laggie - TTC #1 since Fall 2009 with male factor issues

lapis - ttc #1 since August 2008. Living in a new country with a calmer lifestyle and trying not to get sucked into the ttc vacuum.

littlest birds
ttc for 10 months after VR

luvmywestie- ttc for 2 years with no clear diagnosis, m/c 10/08.

MahnaMahna- mama to 1 amazing son, ttc #2 for 8 months, natural parenting blogger

mamamerle- ttc #3 after taking 17 months to conceive #2. Hoping the magical clomid/gonal-f/iui combination will work again!

Maurine - Me 31; DH 33; married since 2006, TTC #1 since August 2009 w/ mild PCOS and Morphology 0%...trying a round of clomid and looking into IVF

millefleur- a 34 year old aspiring baby mama in upstate ny. Happily unmarried to dp for 5 years. 9 week m/c 12/08. Ttc again since 6/09.

miriam bat avraham
TTC #1 for 18 months, currently seeking treatment for infertility, with no abnormal blood tests so far. Ovulating normally after one year with no ovulation.

mksmith - Megan, TTC after a loss in 04/10.

nanette56 - wife (29) of 8 years to dh (31) , mother to ds (5), ttc #2 with pcos. One loss february 2010.

rcr - ttc #2 since May 09, but not avoiding since December 07, with a DH that has low sperm count, mobility, volume, and everything else; and lives out of state for work Monday-Friday (but is home every weekend). Me: 36, DH: 38. I am a WOHM and I take care of my mom with stage 5 (sometimes 6) Alzheimer's, which means that she is a lot like my toddler (12/07)

rochelleann- ttc #2 since 2008 with loooong irregular cycles.

simplyrochelle - ttc #1 on and off since 5/2007, m/c at 12 weeks 9/08.

sweetest77 38y/o, ttc#3 since May 09, after VR

tear78 - 31 year old elementary school teacher. Married to hubby since 2006. Love camping, fishing, reading, and working in the yard at our beautiful new tiny little home. Ttc #1 since may 2008, m/c 12/08 and 2/09. Seeking medical help and trying to remember when hope was strong and healthy.

xtara2003x -Tara, ttc #2 since June 2009, 2 losses in 2010, praying for a 2011 baby.

With us, but no longer trying
mi_dawn - lost baby William (born still 4/09) and two m/c in 09.

recent bfps!

stick little babies, stick, stick, stick....
kalamos23- TTC #2 since May '09 two
06/09
02/10 Due 2/28/10!!
rachwms
- due 11/10
finnegansmom - ttc #3 since july 2009, one 3 y/o, one 18 m/o and a recent
in december of 09 Due 2/11!
barefootgirl - due 12/10
jessica_s - TTC #2 for 19 months, three angels, due January 2011!
Qbear'smama - TTC#2 for 7 cycles. Due December 2010!!
kellyttc#1 - TTC#1 for almost 3 years! Due December 1st 2010.
yummyyumyummama - ttc #2 since 3/09 Due 11/22/2010!
rhiannon09 - ttc #1 since January 2008, due 6/10 with twins!
pinoikoi - ttc #5 for 6 months, due 6/21/10.
lisko15 - ttc #1 (or #3) for 14 months, due 6/26/10.
colorbywords - ttc #1 for 13 months, due 8/?/10.
lzp - ttc #1 for 17 months, due 8/10/10.
maerynpearl - ttc #3 (or #1) for 6 cycles over 2 years, due 9/14/10.
aidanraynesmom - ttc For 5 cycles over 14 months, due 9/10.
carlyle - ttc #2 for over 12 months, due 10/1/10.
lyndzies - ttc #1 for 10 months, due 10/4/10.

Here is a link to our "graduates" thread!

our happy graduates (from the 6+ thread)


jillc512 - Albert Boaz 5/4/10
Starkyld - Elliott Marlowe 5/24/20
jelinifer - Finnegan born 5/1/10
minsca -
seth ~ born 10/20/09 ~ 6 lbs 10 oz
kalishanti -
zion merciful ~ born 11/22/09 ~ 7 lbs 11 oz
lauren 31 - Adelynn Ruby 2/10/10

check in with us when you can, ladies!

(please let me know if your first page blurb needs to be updated in anyway. As well, new ladies are welcome, but please join with care.)
 
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#7 ·
Good morning ladies! Thanks for moving me to BFPs!


I got my BFP this weekend, and had a "faint line scare" yesterday but felt better with another round of testing. Clearly the tests need to be put away immediately.

I haven't been around too much, I had my CD3 bloodwork this month as June is my 12 month mark for TTC, and my midwife was very concerned with my stress level, so I vowed to "spazz down" and not spend as much time on the boards....stalking my chart 2935792 times a day, etc etc. Not sure if it was that or the fact I finally caved and bought myself a new size 10 summer wardrobe (which I'm afraid to return but will only fit for about 4 more hours probably)....

Thanks for your support, and
to you!
 
#8 ·
How did we get to June?!!!!

Beloved we like having you around here


MF:


Jenger:


Apricot:


afm: cd12. preseed should be arriving in the mail today or soon. However the summer plan is to: not actively try or avoid, get my sex life back in order, get my mental health out of the mud, learn some more german and just generally get more settled in to this Austrian way of life.



finnegan's mom: we must have cross posted!!! congrats congrats congrats!!!

 
#9 ·
Congrats Finnegan's Mom!! I'm so happy for you


AFM- Bring on CD1.
I'm ready to move on. I'm super bummed, but I gotta pull myself together and get ready for next month. I'm going to talk to the doc about moving on to IVF. I don't know if I have to wait a cycle or not, but I guess I'll know more this week.

On another, happier note, this is how I sent my son to school this morning:

Logan1


Logan2

Have a great week ladies! And thanks for the new thread JENGER!
 
#10 ·
Finnegan'sMom -
Congratulations!
Wishing you a very blessed 9 months


Nanette - I *love* your son's hair. Super, super awesome.

TY for the new thread jenger - a little threadmistress's luck is in order!

AFM - just chillin' at the end of AF & recovering from the stomach bug. That was a nasty little thing. Praying DS & DH don't get it, but it takes a few days to marinate before rearing its ugly head. :puke (sorry about the smiley, it's just *so* fitting)
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
Thanks for the new thread. I feel a bit
that I am still here, secret desires and I am so rooting for you ladies


heavy af for me
and I am still desiring to pee on sticks

We're gld you're here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by finnegansmom View Post
Good morning ladies! Thanks for moving me to BFPs!

Sure thing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nanette56 View Post
On another, happier note, this is how I sent my son to school this morning:

Logan1


Logan2

Have a great week ladies! And thanks for the new thread JENGER!
Too cute!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MahnaMahna View Post
Finnegan'sMom -
Congratulations!
Wishing you a very blessed 9 months


Nanette - I *love* your son's hair. Super, super awesome.

TY for the new thread jenger - a little threadmistress's luck is in order!

AFM - just chillin' at the end of AF & recovering from the stomach bug. That was a nasty little thing. Praying DS & DH don't get it, but it takes a few days to marinate before rearing its ugly head. :puke (sorry about the smiley, it's just *so* fitting)
I am glad you're feeling better!

Millefleur I corrected your age. Did we miss your birthday. (Ahem, did I miss your birthday!?! I must owe you a happy birthday!

AFM- 2dpo Not feeling especially hopeful... We had lots of well timed bd, but why would it happen this time, an not the other 10 times?

Also, the RAIN WON'T stop in the Pacific Northwest!!! If it's not rainy, it's been cool and cloudy. (For the record, despite our reputation for always being rainy, it's not usually THIS GLOOMY!) AHHH!
 
#12 ·
finnegansmom: Congratulations! Wonderful news!!!



Quote:

Originally Posted by lapis View Post
afm: cd12. preseed should be arriving in the mail today or soon. However the summer plan is to: not actively try or avoid, get my sex life back in order, get my mental health out of the mud, learn some more german and just generally get more settled in to this Austrian way of life.
I think that's a great summer plan, lapis!
and


Nanette
: I'm shocked. Seriously. I was convinced. So sorry mama. I like your attitude though, "pull myself together and get ready for next month." That's what has to be done and that's what will get you where you want to be.


Quote:

Originally Posted by jenger View Post
Millefleur I corrected your age. Did we miss your birthday. (Ahem, did I miss your birthday!?! I must owe you a happy birthday!
Thanks! If I remember correctly, I think you and I actually have the same birthday!


Quote:

Originally Posted by jenger View Post
AFM- 2dpo Not feeling especially hopeful... We had lots of well timed bd, but why would it happen this time, an not the other 10 times?
Because ONE of these times has to be THE time - for all of us!


AFM: CD5, AF is on her way out. Looking forward to my midwife appt next week. Hopefully they can give me some clues as to why TTC is taking so long.

to everyone!
 
#13 ·
Hi Everyone, Can you please add me? I'm 38 (turning 39 in July) We have been TTC # 3 for almost a year now (if I'm not PG this cycle, it will be a full year of trying). I have had 14 ttc cycles already, and I'm starting to lose hope. I sure you all know how I feel!

A little about my situation: DH had a Vasectomy Reversal in May of 2009, just had a 3rd post op SA in April and everything looks great in that department. I had been dealing with short LP and LP spotting, but I finally have that under control (taking 400mg prometrium vaginally after O). I still need to get an HSG just to make sure my tubes are open (I've been putting that off). Beyond that I'm not going to pursue any further treatments (I've done clomid, actually on a clomid cycle now, but that is about as far as I'm willing to go)

My first two were conceived very easily, so there is a part of me that feels like this is not meant to be... feeling pretty dejected lately!
 
#14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetest77 View Post
Hi Everyone, Can you please add me? I'm 38 (turning 39 in July) We have been TTC # 3 for almost a year now (if I'm not PG this cycle, it will be a full year of trying). I have had 14 ttc cycles already, and I'm starting to lose hope. I sure you all know how I feel!

A little about my situation: DH had a Vasectomy Reversal in May of 2009, just had a 3rd post op SA in April and everything looks great in that department. I had been dealing with short LP and LP spotting, but I finally have that under control (taking 400mg prometrium vaginally after O). I still need to get an HSG just to make sure my tubes are open (I've been putting that off). Beyond that I'm not going to pursue any further treatments (I've done clomid, actually on a clomid cycle now, but that is about as far as I'm willing to go)

My first two were conceived very easily, so there is a part of me that feels like this is not meant to be... feeling pretty dejected lately!

I hope you find something that works and that your stay with us is short!
 
#15 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetest77 View Post
Hi Everyone, Can you please add me? I'm 38 (turning 39 in July) We have been TTC # 3 for almost a year now (if I'm not PG this cycle, it will be a full year of trying). I have had 14 ttc cycles already, and I'm starting to lose hope. I sure you all know how I feel!

welcome girlie! Hope your stay is very short!

Ladies I'm so PISSED! Called the RE to see what I have to do for this cycle, whether I can jump right into IVF or what, and the nurse tells me I have to come in for a freakin' beta. WTF? I've never had to go in for a beta without a pos pregnancy test before! I told her I'd be CD 1 tomorrow at the latest Then she says well you're 14 dpo, and we have to see if the numbers go up or if they go down. I think I got the stupid nurse, or she's new. I said "BUT I'M NOT PREGNANT!!" she's like "oh, you'd be surprised at the crazy stuff that happens." WTH? Seriously? I'm so pissed I have to go all the way down there for this nonsense! And then on top of everything get a call at the end of the day with, you're not pregnant, sorry. UGHHHHHHH!!!! Rant over. Thanks for listening
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetest77 View Post
Hi Everyone, Can you please add me? I'm 38 (turning 39 in July) We have been TTC # 3 for almost a year now (if I'm not PG this cycle, it will be a full year of trying). I have had 14 ttc cycles already, and I'm starting to lose hope. I sure you all know how I feel!

A little about my situation: DH had a Vasectomy Reversal in May of 2009, just had a 3rd post op SA in April and everything looks great in that department. I had been dealing with short LP and LP spotting, but I finally have that under control (taking 400mg prometrium vaginally after O). I still need to get an HSG just to make sure my tubes are open (I've been putting that off). Beyond that I'm not going to pursue any further treatments (I've done clomid, actually on a clomid cycle now, but that is about as far as I'm willing to go)

My first two were conceived very easily, so there is a part of me that feels like this is not meant to be... feeling pretty dejected lately!
Sweetest, you are added! Welcome, we're sorry to meet you here!

ALERT! ALERT! (Especially for lurkers!)
I tried to clean up the first post... I found recent posts and logins of those on our list. I moved those who were posting in the DDC's (there were quite a few, happily!) and those who haven't logged on, much less posted, in over 6 months. That said, you don't need to log on to lurk... maybe you are still lurking, and want to be on the list. Well, please PM me or post, and I can add you back! Let's hope everyone I removed is too busy being knocked up...

I will try and keep cleaning up the first post... Any suggestions?
 
#17 ·
Gahh! Well I just got my blood test results back. Nothing...
There are slightly elevated anticardiolipins (14, they like to see 10), but she said they shouldn't be too big a deal and that the doctor would probably just recommend baby aspirin and not heparin. (Good freakin' thing, because I wasn't going there.) Baby aspirin? really? that's all it is? Joke's on them, I alrready started taking it this cycle.

I was also still testing preg when they did the test so they were probably elevated because of that.

Anyhoo, no answers and now my insurance is expired. Do I just keep trying until my heart gives out?

ETA:
Get this %$! SO I had asked her to fax me the test results. She told me they didn't find anything and that everything was negative. Now...on the paper it says I have two copies of MTHFR C677T (great abbreviation btw)
and after reading up on it I am kind of concerned. Does anyone have any info on it that I want to hear
 
#18 ·
OK so please excuse my rant from the earlier post
This whole mess is just so frustrating. Turns out that I thought there was only one page of results from the lab, but my fax was out of paper. Turns out there were 8 pages. Anyway since there are normal homocysteine levels it means everything is fine with the MTHFR thing, jeeze...and I thought straight up TTC was stressful!
 
#19 ·
MoTHerF****R is a clotting related thingie - you can be homozygous, heterozygous, or negative. Just having TWO copies doesn't tell me anything. That either means you're totally fine or screwed. Lemme look up what one c677t is.
 
#20 ·
It is the mild mutation - you're homozygous for it, if I read it right.
It's not the "bad" one, and you share this condition with about 1 in 10 women. Baby aspirin is good. Also, LOTS more folate than usually recommended. Instead of 400 mcg, I'm usually seeing 2000 a day recommends from the perinatologists. It would be unusual for that to be the cause of miscarriages, but I've certainly seen people who carry well after the addition of heparin/ASA. Also links to pre-e - did you have that with your son?
I am glad your homocysteine levels are good. Your risk of heart attack is nice and low, then.
 
#21 ·
I had nothing with my son except an easy 1st try conception, no worries, and an easy healthy, uneventful pregnancy and natural birth of a gigantic super heathy son. It's been all downhill from there. I thought that's how it was supposed to be.

Yep homozygous.
I looked it up and was in a bit of a panic until I found page 7 where it said homocysteine as well as everything else was normal. I found a liquid folate online and ordered it in a frenzy. However, I may not need it since homocysteine is normal and it shouldn't a problem.
See it just goes to show you once they start looking too hard, who knows what crazy stuff will come up. I suppose that's why they said nothing came up with the testing. It wouldn't have caused the mc. (But what effing did!!?!?) They didn't figure I would do the research and panic myself. I will not do heparin.

Anyway, back to square one with 3 dead babies for "no reason".

I swear I know in my heart that it has something to do with the erratic cyles after the first mc (Which may well have been a chromosomal thing)

This is how I think it went down...mc#1 random chromosomal thing. Cycles didn't get a chance to regulate and hormones were still off somehow, but I got pregnant... and mc again. Then cycles really went mad, but I repeated the cycle. I'm hoping I'm right, and that the acupunture helped me. We'll see.
As much as I want t be pregnant. I would also like to see how AF goes this cycle, to see if it's normal and to see if my next cycle is normal.
 
#22 ·
Bitter moment here - I wish I could try to get pregnant and be successful first try both times. That thread makes me sad and supremely jealous.

Enigo - I really hope the acupuncture helps to fix things - it sounds like you have a good start!
 
#23 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by kalamos23 View Post
Bitter moment here - I wish I could try to get pregnant and be successful first try both times. That thread makes me sad and supremely jealous.

Enigo - I really hope the acupuncture helps to fix things - it sounds like you have a good start!
Girl, now I looked! Arg! Yep, made me bitter too. And I should of gone to bed and hour ago...

(Don't look ladies - a gal posted a thread, the lucky lady got pregnant with #2 the second time she and her husband actually tried)

Even the BSL graduate thread (which I stalked to get updates for our first post
) got me a little sad, even though it SHOULD make me hopeful...

Apricot
Thanks offering us your expertise with such generosity. It is so appreciated.
 
#24 ·
sweetest: welcome

Nanette: love the pics and
to you.

kalamos: I'm NOT going to read that thread! unless I need something to spark a real tantrum!

Enigo:
. i vote just stay home and relax : )

MF:
and


Jenger: sorry about the soggy PNW weather. Will you hug the evergreens for me though?
to you
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by enigo View Post
Now I had a stupid dream that I got pregnant again and had another mc.
Awesome!
I'm sorry. When I had my nightmare the other night, DH kept telling me "it is JUST a dream" it felt like it minimized the feelings. Feelings that come up are real. I wish I could give you a real hug
 
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