I opened our Verizon bill yesterday and almost had kittens when I saw the amount due was over $1000.
DSS (age 16) has a line on our family plan, and last month he and his mom went to Mexico. While there, he was able to still use his cell phone and the resultant fees are over $900.
My husband thinks that we shouldn't say anything to DSS because "it would make him feel bad". I say that when you impact the entire household to the tune of almost $1000, you should feel a little bad.
I know that DSS didn't do it on purpose, and we (DH and I) did not think to specifically say to him "Do not use your cell phone in Mexico". But I still feel like he should take some responsiblity.
The money to pay this bill has to come out of our family vacation fund (because that is our most readily available fund to draw from), which means that none of us will be going on vacation this summer. So I don't know how DH plans to explain to DSS why we aren't going on vacation.
I don't know what to do. I know that we can't ask him to pay any of the bill because he has no job, and no opportunity to get a job (he lives at his mom's during the week, and they live so far out in the boonies that he can't even bike to a job safely - even if he could find something out there.) I suggested to my DH that DSS do chores around the house as a form of payment, and my husband didn't think that was a good idea - for whatever reason. I was so annoyed by this point that I let it go.
Any advice or ideas from you mommas (or dads)?
UPDATE:
Thanks for all of your input.
I want to be really clear that when I said "he should feel bad", what I meant was not that his dad and I should lay all the blame on him and tell him he is responsible for the family vacation not taking place. What I meant - and should have said - was more along the line of I know that I feel bad for not specifically telling him not to use the phone while in Mexico. I made a bad assumption that since we do not have international calling on our cell plans that his phone wouldn't even work there, so for me it was a non issue. I feel bad now, and I've learned a lesson. That feeling of regret is not a terrible thing for a young person to experience and I think it leaves a lasting impression. I know now that in the future I have to remind him of things like this. Could I quietly pay this bill and then put our vacation expenses on a credit card so that DSS never knows? Sure. But that is not how we handle our finances. If we have the cash to pay for something necessary (and paying bills in full, on time is a priority to us), then sacrifices have to be made to do that. I don't intend to say "we aren't going on vacation BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU BAD, BAD CHILD!!!", but he will wonder why we aren't taking our trip now (we've been talking about it, it wasn't a surprise), and I think it's just as important for him to understand that there are consequences to all our actions: even unintended, accidental, innocent mistakes.
I also made a bad judgement call because I assumed that he would know not to use the phone in a foreign country. His mom and dad both travel internationally and he knows that he should not call them on their cell phones when they are out of the country. And last year when he was on vacation in the Bahamas with his mom, she took his cell phone away from him (he was still on her plan at that time) and told him he couldn't use it because it would cost more money. I know this because he complained about it at the time.
My DH and I did not call him or text him in Mexico. First, because that is special time for him and his mom and we don't usually talk with him when they are on vacation. Also, because we didn't think the phone would work. And he did not call or text us, because if he did, we would have told him to STOP using the phone immediately.
Finally, out of $900 in fees, $11.99 was voice charges and the rest were text messages/roaming. Every text message sent and rec'd cost $.50, and he sent and rec'd almost 2000 (according to Verizon, I didn't count all of them).
I did call Verizon - you can bet that was the first call I made!! I've called them a couple times and I get the same anwer each time: those are charges that Mexico bills to Verizon, and then Verizon passes on to consumers, and therefore, they won't/can't reduce them. I can't get a straight answer about whether or not they send out a text message when you enter another country.
DSS (age 16) has a line on our family plan, and last month he and his mom went to Mexico. While there, he was able to still use his cell phone and the resultant fees are over $900.
My husband thinks that we shouldn't say anything to DSS because "it would make him feel bad". I say that when you impact the entire household to the tune of almost $1000, you should feel a little bad.
I know that DSS didn't do it on purpose, and we (DH and I) did not think to specifically say to him "Do not use your cell phone in Mexico". But I still feel like he should take some responsiblity.
The money to pay this bill has to come out of our family vacation fund (because that is our most readily available fund to draw from), which means that none of us will be going on vacation this summer. So I don't know how DH plans to explain to DSS why we aren't going on vacation.
I don't know what to do. I know that we can't ask him to pay any of the bill because he has no job, and no opportunity to get a job (he lives at his mom's during the week, and they live so far out in the boonies that he can't even bike to a job safely - even if he could find something out there.) I suggested to my DH that DSS do chores around the house as a form of payment, and my husband didn't think that was a good idea - for whatever reason. I was so annoyed by this point that I let it go.
Any advice or ideas from you mommas (or dads)?
UPDATE:
Thanks for all of your input.
I want to be really clear that when I said "he should feel bad", what I meant was not that his dad and I should lay all the blame on him and tell him he is responsible for the family vacation not taking place. What I meant - and should have said - was more along the line of I know that I feel bad for not specifically telling him not to use the phone while in Mexico. I made a bad assumption that since we do not have international calling on our cell plans that his phone wouldn't even work there, so for me it was a non issue. I feel bad now, and I've learned a lesson. That feeling of regret is not a terrible thing for a young person to experience and I think it leaves a lasting impression. I know now that in the future I have to remind him of things like this. Could I quietly pay this bill and then put our vacation expenses on a credit card so that DSS never knows? Sure. But that is not how we handle our finances. If we have the cash to pay for something necessary (and paying bills in full, on time is a priority to us), then sacrifices have to be made to do that. I don't intend to say "we aren't going on vacation BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU BAD, BAD CHILD!!!", but he will wonder why we aren't taking our trip now (we've been talking about it, it wasn't a surprise), and I think it's just as important for him to understand that there are consequences to all our actions: even unintended, accidental, innocent mistakes.
I also made a bad judgement call because I assumed that he would know not to use the phone in a foreign country. His mom and dad both travel internationally and he knows that he should not call them on their cell phones when they are out of the country. And last year when he was on vacation in the Bahamas with his mom, she took his cell phone away from him (he was still on her plan at that time) and told him he couldn't use it because it would cost more money. I know this because he complained about it at the time.
My DH and I did not call him or text him in Mexico. First, because that is special time for him and his mom and we don't usually talk with him when they are on vacation. Also, because we didn't think the phone would work. And he did not call or text us, because if he did, we would have told him to STOP using the phone immediately.
Finally, out of $900 in fees, $11.99 was voice charges and the rest were text messages/roaming. Every text message sent and rec'd cost $.50, and he sent and rec'd almost 2000 (according to Verizon, I didn't count all of them).
I did call Verizon - you can bet that was the first call I made!! I've called them a couple times and I get the same anwer each time: those are charges that Mexico bills to Verizon, and then Verizon passes on to consumers, and therefore, they won't/can't reduce them. I can't get a straight answer about whether or not they send out a text message when you enter another country.